Hello,
hopefully ive posted this to the appropriate section. I have been trying to find information on co-parenting with different religions for ages and a child counsellor directed me to this site. My husbands ex-wife is a jehovahs witness. While married he went through some of the motions to keep her happy but ultimately it was what caused the demise of their relationship. He was never a believer and he struggled alot with having children that would miss out on so much. He wanted the opportunity to show them the other side of life. Initially he kinda assumed they would follow his way of doing things while in his custody. We have them about 30% of the time. He would often say "well what kid would turn down birthday parties or christmas". Unfortunately we have found that would be his kids. For about 3 years things went relatively ok with them happy to participate but now they wont partake in anything, they say it makes them uncomfortable or they just dont enjoy the holidays. The younger a 5 yr boy will out right say "mommy tells me not to" but the older a 9 yr old girl will usually cover for her mother saying they are given the choice but choose not to partake. I dont mean to make this sound like its only about holidays but we can see where this could be leading to. Will the children soon not want to spend time with us at all? Weve been seeking counseling and they recommend simply being supportive in whatever makes the kids comfortable. I just dont think they understand the brainwashing they receive from their mothers religious side. Does anyone have experience dealing with a situation like this? Are their any former JW's who can share how they felt growing up and what they would have appreciated? We dont want to put further pressure on them as we know they have huge pressure from the other side, but if we are too passive will we loose them forever?
Thank you so much for any feedback this has been a real struggle for us.

Hello,

It appears we are in a similar situation. My ex-wife is raising my children as JW's. I am not. She has been doing this beginning when the kids were 2 and 4 years old. They are now 11 and almost 13. It has been a struggle and your story closely parallels mine.

I have been court ordered not to "disparage" her belief system and to let the kids decide themselves what religion they choose to follow. What kid can do that at this age? So, I have to be careful what I say when the kids are with me. It is a challenging and difficult road.

I would like to discuss some strategies I have been using that have planted seeds that will help my children see "the truth".

As you have most likely concluded, there is no magic bullet that opens the eyes and puts brings your world back to normal. It is a time consuming process but needs to be done to protect our children.

FYI......I am not a JW and never have been. My ex-wife had a secret affair with a married JW and eventually left and divorced me so she can "live in the truth". The man she was having the affair with left and divorced his wife so he could be with my ex-wife. Six months after divorcing me, she became a baptized member of the Watchtower Organization and married this man.

I look forward to more discussions.

Scott