Re: Dangerous to contact cult member?
Date: July 25, 2011 02:23PM
Well, I've been having counselling sessions with an exit counsellor, which has been incredibly helpful.
One thing he said is that most of the cults don't actually kill people; they just try to push you over the edge.
I decided to contact my ex after six months, through Facebook, as I was sure that he wouldn't have blocked my e-mails there.
I wrote him once about a month ago, and mentioned that I'd send him some books. I wrote him a second time this past Thursday, being more specific, and telling him that I still love him. Today he blocked me on Facebook - this means if I do a search for him on Facebook, there is no trace of him; his posts on public pages are blocked from my view, etc.
The exit counsellor warned me that from what I'd told him, he didn't think my ex would be reached; that one basically has to have an open mind and a spirit of self-examination in order for anything I said to my ex to reach him.
I thought that by being direct it would reach him, because I thought he was a critical thinker. I guess he is about some things.
It's very frustrating, because as I see it he's pretty much mind-controlled by a family member who is using Ericksonian hypnosis techniques - I read his blog; two days after I wrote my ex the first time, a post on the hypnotist's blog: how he is on a land trust that owns a beaver dam, and it's a beautiful headache, and would someone like to buy the dam as it needs dredging, but then would be in danger of contamination? A few days later it was July 4 - all these blogs about how dangerous independence is; how it's good to be lazy on independence day...It's pretty upsetting watching the control going on.
I'm grateful of course that I recognized that there was weird sh*t going on, or else I could have blissed out with my ex (we were pretty blissed out together) and not realized for...how long? that there was nefarious stuff underlying his life. As it was, it took me about a year to realize what was going on (long distance relationship), and why it was he suddenly pulled back after meditation retreat; before he left we were discussing building a house together. The whole thing is rather heartbreaking.
Frustrating as well is that I was effected by the hypnosis while I was with him. I guess I was fortunate when one looks at the overall balance that I'd been exposed to NLP to the level of master practitioner in my teens. I'd walked away from that by the time I was 20, basically, feeling manipulated, and that NLP didn't deal with root issues (I now have massive issues with NLP) but eventually the lightbulb went on and I realized that people were interacting with my ex using those techniques. I got very concerned and had a massive panic attack. I guess that's to be expected.
Frustrating as well, is that whenever my ex is upset, he tends to cut off what he targets as upsetting him. Unfortunately that leaves only the people who speak in ways that trying to understand what they're saying is like nailing jello to the wall.
I'm less naive in general, still alive! and saddened that someone who I care sincerely about is stuck in a sick relationship with a family member. I guess there's nothing I can do?