Um, wow. So, I went on a few dates with an great guy - he was just amazing, full of energy, kind, confident...*almost* perfect but something wasn't quite clicking & I couldn't figure out what it was. Well, in hindsight, I can see that on each one of our dates, he kept bringing up this weekend seminar he'd done where he'd had this amazing, life-altering, mind-blowing experince. The first time, I thought nothing of it but it got kind of repetitive and on the third date he dramatically described a particular moment when I guess he "got it", and the wheels in my head started to turn. After reading the articles on your site and having some conversations I had with family and friends who knew what this was all about (and they all adviced me to run away screaming), I realized he'd been referring to "The Forum"!
He wasn't *that* interested in me - in my opinion, he was going to recruit me! Only, he'd never actually *used* the word "Forum". I e-mailed him, kindly telling him that it didn't line up with my value system and that I didn't think we were compatible for romance. He called me that same day, *and I'll remind you, he'd never used the word "forum" before*, and the first words he spoke were "So, you're freaked out by The Forum."
He told me he fully accepted it if I didn't want to date him, but he wanted to know exactly why I had a problem with the forum, who I had talked to about it, if they had actually been there, what they had said, detail for detail. I told him I didn't have time to discuss it and we got off the phone. The tone of the conversation was very "Why don't you want to buy this amazing car, what's wrong with it?" I'm sure I'll be hearing from him again unfortunate ly, but I'm glad I figured it out before getting seriously involved. (I only wonder: if this "Forum" was so amazing and if he was so confident that it worked, *why* does it even matter to him what other people thing?)

very interesting. it would be great if u could us posted
as to what he says and does. u can always come here
if u need some help on how to handle him.

Thanks :)
Well, I heard from him again. He wrote me a super-long e-mail early this morning, pouring his heart out. He first told me how he felt as though I'd misjudged him, and how he'd really liked our attraction, etc... and yeah it's true, the connection we had was pretty nice.
Most of the e-mail consisted of him telling me his personal story with the Landmark Forum, and how he's done almost every course, how he's been trained to conduct introductory classes & what it's all done for him and his family.
Again, he wanted me to justify where I'm coming from and wanted details of who I know who's been to the forum and when they went, how I know them, what they told me, etc. **He also invited me to attend an introductory class. :roll:
I should have just ignored him, BUT, oops.
I wrote back saying NO thanks, I have no interest in the forum nor will I ever, I'm happy as I am. I also asked him how he could stand spending so much money and energy on a totally for-protit corporation that didn't really care about people. Haven't heard back, but I'm sure I will because I gave him a response. :(
So, from now on, it's ignore, ignore ignore.
Landmark or not, it really turns me off anyway that he'd write such a long, intense, emotional e-mail when we've only been on 3 dates. I'd quit seeing *any* guy just for that. Yikes!

could i ask what your ages are.

how hold is he and how old are u ?

thanks

landmark is the land of freaky, disfunctional relationships. Let me tell you my own story. When I was "active" in the landmark community, I was dating a guy I met thru landmark. He had done the children's, teens and all the adult programs. Had been around landmark since he was very young. His parents did Est. After 2.5 months of bliss and about 2 weeks of being distant and cold, he came over one night and announced he had been cheating on me with one of his co-workers. Well, flash forward 8 months later. After he stopped sleeping with his employees, he started dating a staff member and is now engaged to her. This after telling me he just wasn't equipt to be in a relationship. What a lying scoundrel. Can you say lack of "integrity"?

So I started seeing someone else and ran into him with my new beau (who is non-landmark by the way!) we were being affectionate with each other. My ex comes over and says to my current beau...right in front of me that even though he's moved on and is clear he loves his new girl, seeing me with another man gets him present to how much love he still has for me.

I gotta hand it to my guy because I know he wanted to slug him but instead he just held me tighter and said that he was one lucky man to have me and he kissed me on the cheek. After that, my ex kept calling because he was "incomplete" with what transpired. I have no plans to ever speak to that creep again but boy is it redeeming to hear him plead on my answering machine! "COmmitted to having this complete" more like committed to manipulating me into being part of some sick triangle. No thank you.

to answer your question, I'm 27 and he is 36, though he comes across as much much younger...I think he's immature for his age. I'm glad I chucked him - has opened up my life to another really cool guy who is NOT a part of this stuff!

I heard back from Mr. Forum a week ago, by the way, with an apology. And I haven't heard a word since (nor did I reply)...

phew! (let's hope this is it)....

Thriving :

Good for you staying away.

Yuk! And so very sad too.

Likewise my exBFplus, with another LGAT cult, years after breakup still sends me gifts, CDs of love songs, etc, despite his other relationship(s). Unwittingly I WAS part of a triangle, plus more, but didn't know it at the time.

thus the title of this thread...... ew!

:roll:

thanks Toni. Yeah, it was sad. What's even sadder is seeing how he's become a zombie...a stark contrast from the vibrant, intelligent and ambitious person he used to be. But we're both better off now.