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corboy
a four-hour block spent house-cleaning is a major, major time commitment. IMO it would be arrogant for a roomate to ask someone else to do such a thing--unless they offered to pay you.
And having to leave the house one evening a week?!
Ask yourself if perhaps your roomie could be doing this as an experiment to test you and see how far you can be pushed.
Well, I have to admit -- she has chosen to pay maids on her weeks to clean. I really can't afford maids -- but I am repulsed by the idea that I was requested to a.) spend 4 hours and b.) keep to a stringent schedule, and c.) my biggest issue -- is her requirement that I inform her of the schedule so that she may enjoy the cleanliness. I told her I do not work that way.
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corboy
Ask yourself if perhaps your roomie could be doing this as an experiment to test you and see how far you can be pushed. Social psychologists have found that an effective way to change people's attitudes is not directly argue with them about thier beliefs but just get them to [b:68d76b0258]do [/b:68d76b0258]something--often quite minor.
I hear you on that. My question is: do you think this is a conscious experiment tactic that she is employing? As her latest beef, is that after 9 years of me working from home -- she feels suddenly that me working from home is unfair to her. And I forgot to add in my earlier post, she said she feels "oppressed" by me -- and my working at home -- and my sparse social life. I don't go to Landmark meetings 3-4 nights a week. I go out if I have plans with friends. Mostly I lead a boring life and watch tv. How does this "oppress" her?
I am very familiar with cog. diss. theories, as I have a couple of Masters in Rhetorical Communication and similar areas of study. You make a great point though. And I did fall into the trap. I cleaned the darn house. Granted, it was dirty. But I DID NOT clean for the 4 hours requested by her. Nor did I inform her that I would be cleaning.
As for leaving the house on a weekly scheduled evening, and not "oppressing" her -- whatever the heck that means -- I flatly said "no, that isn't going to happen." Then she asked if we could have a roommate meeting. There are two of us. She is 41 and I am almost 40. I think we're a little old for a roommate meeting -- and I told her that.
But I keep thinking about your point and cog diss theory -- I told her it was okay to have a Landmark Leader meeting at our house??? What's wrong with me? Although -- she pays half the rent. It is difficult to make an argument against this...unless anyone reading can help me out on a good argument why she shouldn't be able to have a meeting here???? Help, please. Maybe that's her way of getting me to leave once a week -- have the Landmark leaders come meet in our house. That insures i will leave. Maybe I should stay? Don't worry -- I am so anti-Landmark -- I have caused all sorts of problems -- they actually don't want me -- believe it or not.