I was wondering if there are more people like me -- living with a Landmarkian. My roommate has been involved in Landmark for over a year. She is now in the Leader Program. It is very difficult to live with this -- and she has become a shadow of her former self. It is difficult to explain this to other people, family or friends. A lot of people find it funny. But I need some kind of support or group of folks who have or have had the same problems I have. Is there anyone out there interested in forming/joining some type of on-line support group? Thanks for reading.

u have a support group right here.

What specifically makes it difficult to live with? I think perhaps it will be *slightly* easier to address specific concerns. The more specifically you point to individual, recognizable behaviors, the more likely others are to see the difference that you are talking about. I had a college roommate that was in an evangelical Christian church... which is by far not the same situation as you, but I did find that it was easier and more productive to tell her "when you do *this* I feel such-and-such" than to just say "you drive me crazy with all your evangelizing" or something of that nature. Good luck :).

Anyone listening?

You have only one solution. Leave.

Your roommate is brainwashed and there's nothing you can do about it. The only thing that will help her is to get some exit counselling, but what are the chances of that happening? She has to [i:02cda0269e]want[/i:02cda0269e] to, but it sounds like she is so entrenched in this despicable cult she'll probably go to her grave as a pathetic Landmark tool.

What is stopping you from hauling yourself out of there? Just leave and chalk it up to experience. You've learned a lesson and now know to carefully check out prospective roommates before moving in. Make sure they're not ax murderers, religious zealots, Scientologists or Landmarkians.

I repeat, if you wish to retain your sanity your only option is to get away from this hopelessly brainwashed cultist. Even if moving costs you money, your mental well-being is more important than money. Believe me when I tell you that if you stay with her, things won't get any better. It will only get worse - much worse.

I'm not trying to scare you, I'm simply giving you a dose of reality, which by the way, Landmarkians avoid.

I truly feel for you. I can only imagine what your life is like.

I'm definitely not afraid to leave. I want her to leave. I have lived here -- with her -- for a very long time. We live at the beach in a rent controlled area. I don't make enough money to leave. Even if I did -- I'd never be able to afford a place like this for the money I pay now. My rent would nearly triple. So -- that's why I was looking for some type of support group. Maybe spouse who aren't willing to leave -- or people with similar circumstances to mine. I know all of this Landmark stuff is nonsense. And I don't particularly care that she's brainwashed. I don't have any attachment to her or her outcome in life. It's difficult to put up with -- that's all -- and I wanted to vent. Or I need hatch a plot to get her to move!

The only way you will be what your roommate wants you to be is to join Landmark.
You say you can't do that. Good for you - stay strong.
She says she is happier than she has ever been (I guess), and cannot understand why you can't share that happiness.
She has no reason to think of leaving or any understanding of why you think she should. 'That's your problem'.
She is going nowhere.
You don't say who has the right of tenure - who says who goes and who stays?
As as been said above, if she won't go, your only way is out.
Sure, you've got a great deal on the apartment, but the rent is trivial. It is material and finite - the risks of staying aren't.
Don't look for cures, look out for your own future. Thinking about this is already taking up more of your brain-time than it needs to.
Remember when you and your roommate hadn't encountered LEC?
What was life like then?

Hype,

I can discuss REAL experience with a Lekkie (my now ex-wife [still find it tough to use that ex word & wife together) of 20 yrs) We had something alot of folks never get to enjoy...finding a true soulmate...

In 1 weekend (Forum) our lives were manipulated & changed forever...

With all you have said and comments of others..I might suggest to you to follow your heart, listen to it but keep a logical head...there are some things you might be able to do to help her. IMO, I would not just give up yet (black/white logic) but perhaps instead for now, get street-wide with LEC, check out the various (yes, various ) onion-slices of this LEC animal from REAL experiences that were bad (because you have seen (like me) soberly what the effects really are - those that "graduated" (from what?-sharing 101?)cannot see/sense/feel it, which I'm sure by now that you have experienced. With my ex's LEC situation, I told my kids that I would have to do something, even if it failed, to be able to someday go to my grave with a smile that I had done ALL THAT I COULD to help her. Well it failed (It was a lose/lose situation for me anyway, but I can say that we tried) After 20 wunderful yrs, nothing could have ever come between us. I now know that the only possible way was someone taking control of either her head or mine.

So gather info mon ami, realize the raptors have her, there are slim chances but you can only come to act with knowledge & awareness...then later you'll be able to re-con the commenters on this web-site and alt.fan.landmark on google who are lekkies...
I lost the love of my life (seriously, no one who reads this could ever totally understand) but I survived to fight another day AND perhaps some day a civil suit v.s. LEC might appear on the horizon as more info gets out! LEC CULT or CULTURE?

Start by asking for some good anti-cult books from the listers on this board...think critically always!

If you would like to chat e-m me. I have personally been down this road of yours...a non-lekker dealing with a lekker relationship.

Ok, even I "rec" that I have gone on too much...good luck but I am willing to listen & try to help you if would like, just ask....



PAX

U.

first thing i would suggest is that u settle down. its not the
end of the world. because u and your roommate are friends
or have been friends in the past doesnt mean that u cant
be again in the future.

your roommate is on a type of high that the hypnosis that
landmark produces.

as long as there is no evidence of your roommate getting
violent with u then just stay where u are and learn.

u can learn a tremendous amount of information about what
has happened to your friend just by listening, use your
already listening, thats what landmark calls it, your critical
way of thinking, be sure and keep that.

first relax. its your place and u share it. then i woulndt move
after hearing of your circumstances. chill a little.

as long as u dont commit to dong the forum then u should
be alright.

come to this place as often as necessary to hear from
people that will talk to u.

dont get all crazy over it.

u may ask your friend to not bring up landmark constantly
and if u can get a commitment from her to at least attempt
to not do this then that could be the beginning, your
opening to getting em back.

my landmarkian roommate has asked me to committ to the following:

1. schedule a day when i clean the house for four hours AND make sure i give her ample notice so that she can "enjoy" the clean living space. i don't have a problem with cleaning the house -- but i am not going to schedule a date and time to do it.

next request...

2. schedule a weekly evening -- same night every week -- that i leave the premises...so that she has the place to herself on scheduled evenings. i just said "no" to that one.

3. she asked if i would mind if the Landmark Leader Group met at our house????

so, not only am i venting about these very odd requests but she seems so conniving and manipulative lately. do i leave when the Landmark Leader Group comes to my house? do i hide in my bedroom? or do i secretly videotape the meeting for later laughs?