I am new to the RR forum, although have read information on and off here for some time and have found it to be a helpful source of information - so thanks.

I have been reading the posts from many who seek advice about what to do when in a relationship with a Landmark adherent. I don't wish to dash the hopes of those currently facing this challenge but the outcome in my case was not good.

My ex and I were together for a number of years (we broke up last year). He "found" Landmark after we started dating and it very quickly became a source of conflict between us. I did a lot of research and spoke to various cult information groups so tried to be patient/non judgmental etc etc. He attempted to recruit me into Landmark and I did attend the Forum but did not go back after the first day. It was not a positive experience!! Over a period of years he gradually seemed to loose interest and not need it in his life so much (having done the Forum, Advanced Course, SELP and become part of delivering their program to others). However, I think that I totally underestimated the transforming effect that it had had on him. What I am trying to say I guess is that even though he had apparently left Landmark - it had not left him. Looking back over the whole experience I think that everything about the way he was in our relationship was shaped by his experiences with Landmark. And it was not a good thing...

I guess the point I am making is that even if someone is no longer actively involved with the group, you won't get the same person back that you started out with. And the person that you do get back may be so fundamentally altered that you can't be with them any more - so leaving is just the first step. Be prepared for a long long haul, and know that the risk is that even if you do get them out you don't get them back.

Marmat

ZOWIE -- I sure hear THAT, Marmat.

I was guilty as HELL of being a lot like your ex. I left Est in '83 but didn't really start attending to cleaning it out of my system for 15 more years. That's when I finally discovered all sorts of things in this world like limits, boundaries, other peoples' feelings and that my actions actually had consequences. geez.....



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/20/2008 02:35AM by pauker.

I have seen how powerful the "technology" can be so great to hear that you have overcome such huge obstacles. For sure the ex never actually disavowed the Landmark world view. He just said that he had learned the life lessons he needed ... but I guess he always left open the option that he "would go back". At the time I thought this was a face saving way for him to move on with his life, but maybe I was just a little too optimistic! It sure is hard to maintain the balance between being non judgmental/"curious" about the group and self preservation. Major Bummer.

This is a very sobering story. It is the same impression I had after my forum experience. Please post a confirmation on my youtube video entitled "landmark Forum An Insider's Final Perspective. There is one creep ho keeps posting LM propaganda. The more voices we have to show against him the better. If you don't have a youtube account it is easy to open.
Thanks,
Brad (Bradbavarde)

It may have helped me with my refund that I did not actually finish the Forum. I figure I am "incomplete" with them (sorry - a little lekkie humour). Sorry - just noticed I posted this in the wrong thread.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/29/2008 01:46PM by Marmat.