Hi, Oz,

Yes, very sad. And your story even sadder! Are you still in touch with your ex? How long ago did this happen? Has she gotten counseling?

Here's the worst part of my friend's story: his wife's in LEC, too. So whatever he believes about this "mechanical" stuff I'm sure his wife is learning, too. His family is in, too. So he's surrounded by a cadre of people who all believe the same things and I'm sure feed off each other's beliefs. It's a downward spiral.

Glam

Concerned Oz,

you've inspired me to contact my sister again which I had thought over.

reading what you posted here gave me the motivation to go and send her an e-mail this morning.

I have a kind of Christmas feeling about it. anything can happen. I hope she has drawn away from LEC since I last heard from her.

Glam - As you have asked, here is the progress of Jane's proceedings. I only write this for the purposes that it may help people out there to know how things can end:

* Late Sept 2003 - my ex went into Landmark.
* Early December 2003 - she left it through a mix of exhaustion, my urging for her to leave it and a feeling within her that LE did not seem kosha
* Late February 2004 - After passing her a document about the philosophy of LE, she realised she had been brainwashed and was involved in something contrary to her beliefs
* Up to this point, she thought, "I was out to get her"
* She has chosen not to seek therapy but at the same time, although she consciously rejects the teachings of LE, her behaviour is still consistant with it.
* I have not seen her since mid June but we are in occassional contact.
* I believe she will improve over time but the pace is determined by how fast she wants to go and at the moment, she does not want to explore what she has been through as it is too painful. The poor girl was doing things against her beliefs and I feel she feels greatly ashamed.

Acid - I wish you well with your Sister and I pray that you will be reunited.

To all - In my last few posts I have received some very kind messages. I am motivated to write what I do in the hope that my story may help others. Today I received a "flame" message form a member of this board stating that my last posting on this thread was all "made up". Nothing I have written is an exageration or fabrication.

I would just like to say that behind all these funny names we give ourselves, there are real people with a past, present and a future and some of us are hurting, whether it be directly from a cult or via a relationship that has gone bad caused by cult participation. I know that most people are respectful of this.

Oz

Hi Oz,

Sorry to hear things are going this way. This is recent for you, and it must be painful. Painful for you and for Jane, who must be feeling shame, confusion and guilt about a situation where she was victimized. I think she may well need further counseling and information before she's able to deal with what happened, but it sounds like she's not ready to go there right now. I wish things could have turned out better.

My friend started LEC just after Jane did, but instead of leaving, he's only gotten in deeper and deeper. It's scary.

Sorry to hear about the flame, too -- I've been attacked pretty viciously online myself when discussing LEC, and I try to remind myself that "they know not what they do," but that is tough to do at times.

I am curious about the document you passed to Jane...is it available online somewhere? I know someone else whose girlfriend got involved with a similar LGAT, and she awakened back to reality when she saw the BITE model online.
I am interested to hear what gets LEC participants to think about what's happened.

Thanks,

Glam

One of my best friends has recently been sucked into the Sterling Institute of Relationships: an LGAT that is often compared to Landmark, Est, etc. That goes without saying our friendship has changed considerably. Many of the accounts presented in this thread resonate with me. There seems to be an unhealthy power dynamic as my friend has become quite judgemental of how I live my life and conduct my relationships. Much of this seems driven by the dogma that he has learned from this supposed "men's group".

While there is a good body of material on this site specific to Sterling, there is also a lot of more general material posted in the Large Group Awareness Training (LGAT) category. Just how similar is Sterling to groups such as Landmark, Lifespring etc?

Is the Sterling Institute of Relationships considered as destructive as Landmark,etc? While the overall membership in Sterling seems considerably less, I am wondering if the proportion of Sterling candidates adversely affected is comparable to other LGATs.

Does anyone have any information on the presence of Sterling in Western Canada, in particular Alberta?

Thanks in advance!

Glam - I have written about my experience in what caused Jane to think twice on a number of threads. if you do a search on my profile these will come up.

I do need to consolidate my writings on this in the future.

At the moment, I can say this:
Key variables in the Landmarkian having second thoughts are:
1. Intervention is done sooner rather than latter before the LE philosophy becomes bedrock in the person's psychie
2. The degree to which the LE philosophy counters the pre-existing philosophy/beliefs/formalised religion of the Landmarkian
3. The method in which the distinctions of pre-exiting beliefs are put to the Landmarkian - non confrontational.
4. The degree of collateral damage done in the Landmarkian's life.

However, most people leave cults through exhaustion - mental, physical or emotional, not necessarily interlectual riggour.

This is a big subject area and worthy of its own thread.

Don't give up Hope!

Oz

Quote
Concerned Oz
However, most people leave cults through exhaustion - mental, physical or emotional, not necessarily interlectual riggour.

often they join for the same reason.

Acid - Well put!

Quote

One of my best friends has recently been sucked into the Sterling Institute of Relationships: an LGAT that is often compared to Landmark, Est, etc. That goes without saying our friendship has changed considerably. Many of the accounts presented in this thread resonate with me. There seems to be an unhealthy power dynamic as my friend has become quite judgemental of how I live my life and conduct my relationships. Much of this seems driven by the dogma that he has learned from this supposed "men's group".

While there is a good body of material on this site specific to Sterling, there is also a lot of more general material posted in the Large Group Awareness Training (LGAT) category. Just how similar is Sterling to groups such as Landmark, Lifespring etc?

Is the Sterling Institute of Relationships considered as destructive as Landmark,etc? While the overall membership in Sterling seems considerably less, I am wondering if the proportion of Sterling candidates adversely affected is comparable to other LGATs.

Does anyone have any information on the presence of Sterling in Western Canada, in particular Alberta?

Hi! From what I've heard about the Sterling Institute, its teachings are very anti-relationship and anti-love, and it basically teaches men that women are to be used, you should never fall in love or get emotionally involved with a woman, and that women will break your heart and take all your money. I've also heard that their dogma is the basis for the "Sex and Intimacy" training at Landmark, so it seems the two are at least somewhat related.

If I were you, I'd check out all the info I could at the Rick Ross site, especially the info about coping with cult involvement and recovery:

[culteducation.com]

[culteducation.com]

Glam

Sterling did landmark courses. I'm not sure to what extent he was involved, but it must have been fairly extensive for him to make his own courses. Just goes to show how unoriginal the "grads" can be. le doesn't know how to live up to the [i:f5c1349806]education[/i:f5c1349806] part of their name. :lol: :lol: