As you are probably well-aware, est is the precursor to the Forum and Landmark.
Back in the late 70s and early 80s, my entire family was est. I grew up steeped in it, though I never (thanks to my rational mom -- my parents were divorced and dad's was the est side) actually "did" the training. I participated in and assisted at several workshops.
I'm looking for other people in my situation -- who grew up in est. My belief is that it was irresponsible at best of my family -- and est -- to use est-ian psychology on children. In fact, I believe it harmed me and the other children in my family very much. There must be others out there like me, yes?
A few years ago "Grizz" posted several messages to alt.fan.landmark which were some of the best condemnations of Landmark I've ever read. You can pull up the others by searching "Grizz" within the group.
Mar 9 2002, 7:59 am
Subject: 24 years of brianwashed thinking
i would like to know if there is anyone out there stuggling with the
same issues that i have encountered....
first , my story:
I was 14, my dad got "enrolled" in est (1976). He proceeded to have
everyone in the family take the training and himself go on to being a
"guest seminar leader"
with the aspirations of becoming a "trainer" himself. He began
practising on me...i would have to sit through 4 hour sessions of him
telling me to "get off it" and to "be responsible for my own
experience" This was all mixed in with people calling me endlessly to
"assist" and badgering me unmercilessly to do seminars and courses.
Our entire life was est...(you get the picture, right?)
Ok, now....fast forward...today. Dad is still leading seminars, still
telling me to get off it...i have not had anything to do with landmark
for at least 14 years and i am down right hostile twards anyone who
throws jargon at me.
Just 2 weeks ago, while in intensive pshycotherapy i discovered that i
actually grew up in a cult...est.
I've seen how doing it at such an early age, basically in my
formulative years, i developed quite a few basic beliefs that are
wrong and really hard to live with...for example...those 4 hour
sessions with my dad taught me that whatever I'm feeling is not
valid...that i can deny it all ("get off it")That I am not okay the
way i am...that anyone who has not done est is not enlightened and
therefore we "graduates" are better that anyone else and everyone else
is "on it" and stupid to the way it "really is"...I have been trying
to figure out how to fit into society and not take a me against the
world attitude ever since...
Mostly, i have a problem knowing what is actually real. I cant tell if
a situation is good or bad for me or if I'm happy because i have been
taught that i can just "get off it and create a new conversation"
basically settling for anything by denying what i feel for the last 24
years. My other problem is this...Most people take these courses as an
adult, with thier ideas and opinions about themselves and the world
already in place, so that when they realize they have been conned by a
cult, they have some sense of self to fall back on. Since est and the
forum are what i formulated my views from, i have nothing to fall back
on and I am finding myself quite terrified, empty and having no clue
what part of me is real...
Anyway, i would like to know if anyone out there was put into the
little kids training and what you are experiencing as a result of it.
Or even if you weren't a kid, but are just having trouble with
pshycological issues as a result of being in the forum or est.
I am not interested in hearing anyones counterpoint to all that i've
said, i don't want to hear from people who are sill gung-ho, trying to
convince us wounded souls that we just went astray, and if we would
only take a seminar, everything will be alright....bite me and go _ _
_ _ yourself at the same time!
told you i was hostile twards anything positive anyone has to say
about these experiences...
ok, i'm done for now...