Just wanted to say hellos.

Not sure if people normally give their cult background, but I was involved with landmark in late '92 - to early '93 and primerica in '98. I was only 19 years old when my mind was poisoned by landmark. My college roommate was involved with landmark and within 3 months of living with her, I had attended the forum. Then I was enrolled in the leadership program. It's really hard to get away from them when you live with 'em!! :roll: At that time, they let you join the leadership program before taking the advanced course, but of course, they made me take it anyway.

I never completed the leadership program. I just got so sick of them trying so hard to change me. All that crap about helping people and how we were the next Martin Luther King's?? My main response to them was how can you help people if you're not with them?!? Ya, it stumped them. In fact I think many people who were rushed into the programs like I was left early. I think I heard that before you can take the leadership course, you have to have been involved with them for a year. Lucky me for getting out so early!!! :D

Strangely enough, a volunteer encouraged me to leave. I think maybe he saw how painful and unnecessary the whole thing was for me. I just hope he got out.

Honestly it has haunted me for years. Instead of accomplishing more, I had regularly done less with less attention to detail. I had lost skills that I had since childhood. :( The most persistent after-effect for me is being incapable of hearing people complain about their problems. The whole ordeal had just made me so compassionless. I was just wondering how others cope with the mindf***.

Hi Alexis,

Welcome to the board. I did the Forum in 2001, but only after having spent over a year with a doctor who was using their "technology" in his practice (without letting on he was heavily involved in Landmark). I was left with the same feeling you have, the lack of empathy and compassion for people suffering.

I dealt with that by reading a heck of a lot of reputable authors on narcissism, coercive persuasion, LGATS. Many resources can be found by browsing the forum posts here. It just took a really long time, lots of studying, lots of reflecting and looking at what was going on at the time, observing triggers and figuring out what caused them, what the issues were. For instance, when I was with the doctor, three friends and my grandmother passed away. Being the sociopath that the doctor was (no empathy, which I interpreted as professionalism and keeping boundaries), and since he was using thought-stopping techniques, I didn't really grieve completely. Two weeks ago, when another friend died, this all hit me like a ton of bricks.

You were fortunate to have a volunteer hold the door open for you.

I'm enjoying your well-written posts.

Ohmygawd!! Hope, I just have a loss for words for how sinister that so-called doctor is!!! :x That's criminal!! I'm really sorry that "doctor" denied you the dignity you deserved, especial at such a tough time in your life.

I can say that reading this board has helped me most recently. When I left, the internet was only used by a handful. The resources for investigating landmark were very limited, like my local library. Knowing there are others like me that go through this has helped immensely. Understanding the loss of empathy is not just the "bad side" of my personality but one of the after effects of an induced identity crisis takes a load off my shoulders.

Yup - an induced identity crisis, or depersonalization (what a counselor of mine called it), is exactly what I went through, too. Since I had the pleasure of being Landmarked over a long period of time by someone involved in the company, I wasn't sure if it was him or them or a combination of both. I suppose it also depends on your circumstances in the rest of your life at the time, too.

My doctor graduated from Bastyr University, a naturopathic college. Students on a naturopathic medicine forum informed me that Landmark has a very strong presence on the campus.