I could probably still have some sort of relationship with my ex without him feeling like he had to enroll me in Landmark -- at least I think so. I may be wrong. But I just can't stand to talk to him while he's so engaged in this. It's like he's infected with a virus, and I can't . . . stand it . . . I can't to hear about Landmark, I can't stand to hear how he thinks he needs it (when he isn't saying he doesn't need it -- he flip flops) how he's doing good things with Landmark -- as if billions of people aren't doing good things in the world without lining the pockets of Werner Erhard.
And because of how it seemed he rushed away from me into the arms of Landmark, it's like the "other woman" and as long as he's in it . . . I just can't.
But I admit to backsliding a bit lately. I thought I was really over this, my vacation was great. But the past few days have been hard again. I want to talk to him, I miss him. But he's not . . . the person I want to talk to. That person just isn't there anymore.
But I'm holding on too long.
vlinden, you might have people who will tell you to let go, and you might have people who tell you otherwise. When I first discovered the rickross site it was quite by chance when I was googling neurolinguistic programming. But I am sure glad i did, as it helped me imensely.
i discussed my "friend" who got involved in Landmark, and some people told me that i just had to let this friend go. But the truth is, since I was so afraid of what Landmark can do, i did not say that this friend is actually my child. AND NO WAY was i going to let my child go so easily. I did devulge the true fact to two individuals on private emails, and they were incredibly supportive. I got some really good information which I think may have contributed to the fact that my child is no longer (to the best of my knowledge) involved with Landmark - however, i am still on tenterhooks, and every now and then i ask: "have you seen any of your Landmark friends lately?" to which the reply is "no" - and I'm fairly certain that is the truth, as the demeanour of my child seems to have reverted back to normal. But, you see, i am still being a bit oblique here, you may have noticed that i do not mention the gender of my child...i am still a bit nervous that Landmark "junkies" are visiting this Board.
Anyway, I do go on, eh? - but i am not in a position to agree or disagree as to whether or not you are "holding on to long"...sometimes you have to follow your heart.
What I did find most helpful though, was to NOT set up resistance in my child by talking against Landmark. I had to remain absolutely neutral, even though inside my head I was shouting "STAY AWAY FROM THOSE CROOKS". I just kept repeating that I AM happy as I am, that what I am doing is working for me, and that really, Landmark has nothing to offer me. I also said things like: "well, I'm happy that you are learning that about yourself."...etc, all the while standing my ground.
BUT, i must admit, I did attend several sessions with on the PRETEXT that i was interested in joining, just to make sure that my child did not sign up for any more sessions. Fortunately, the money ran out and I was not going to lend any. I also advised friends not to lend the (adult child i should add) any. Then I also said, "you don't go to work for nothing, you work hard all day and you expect to be paid, why should you work for Landmark and not expect to get paid?) - that actually DID make an impression.
I had invested many many many years in my relationship with my adult child, which is a good one (Landmark very nearly messed it up) - so no way was I going to let go so easily. But it have me lots of sleepless nights, and nearly a nervous breakdown on top of it.
So, try not to be too hard on yourself. Read some of the suggested readings on how to cope with people involved in cults. Anticult and a lot of the older members here have good ideas. And if you are physically and emotionally up to hanging on and trying to get your person out, then go for it. But arm yourself first, otherwise it will just burn you out.
And keep coming to the rickross site, with your worries, with your questions etc. It can only help.