Quote
Jeri442
... I am having a difficult time getting myself back and I am depressed with the knowledge that I helped this organization to ruin other peoples lives and take their money. How do I live with that?
You have knowledge/wisdom now. As Skeptic pointed out, at least you realise you were manipulated. IMO, you gained what was most valuable from the LGAT experience: personal knowledge. No, not the third-hand rhetoric you were forced to sit through and obey, but the knowledge of your own feelings, perceptions and boundaries.
The drug analogy is quite apt. Many reformed drug addicts do constructive things with the knowledge they gained by experiencing drug dependence and its recovery, from helping other addicts to writing books. It's a lot of baby steps at first, like posting here or talking openly about issues with trusted family, friends and/or professionals.
Most importantly, there's no shame in what we experience. If there is any semblance of shame, IMO, it is our reluctance to do something with what we've gained. This
something can be anything as long as it doesn't completely destroy you. This
something doesn't have to be grand or spectacular. In fact, humble and discrete are not bad defaults to live by ...