Re: Sterling Men and Relationships
Date: December 07, 2007 10:55AM
Hi Nancy Drew:
The day that I wrote this was to be either the 3rd or 4th Point Meeting that my fiancee (I will call him Rob) was supposed to attend. The more I read about the Weekend and Meetings the more upset I was getting and we were talking about this group, at length, just about every day. Fortunately, Rob was very open about the content of the Weekend and the Meetings. This is something that I am sure would have been slowly taken away from us, because don't tell your woman a thing is the mantra.
I knew that Rob was not happy about some of the things going on, to name a few, Sterlings dogma about women and relationships, the fact that when he left the Weekend Sterling told the graduating group, in what was widely perceived in a threatening manner, "No one comes between me and my people," meaning, they were now indoctrinated and their loyalty at all times was to Sterling and the group as a whole. Rob also saw one of the long standing members of the group hit another man ( I believe he was a volunteer) in the head in front of the men who were attending the Weekend. This man was overtly very humiliated but would not say or do anything, he just took it. Rob also confided to me that while on the Weekend the men kept trying to get him to say/admit what a b*tch and a c*nt I was; he was pretty shocked considering they did not know him or me at all. But to Sterling and his band of idiots, of course, all women are these and the sole root of mens' problems.
Again, the day I wrote this, Rob called and told me he was not going to attend that nights meeting or any others. You can imagine how glad I was to hear this. The week before he quit, another man had quit and Rob decided to call him. This man told Rob that over the previous weekend, before the Monday night meeting, he e-mailed all of the men and told them he was not going to return and did not want contact from any of them. One of the men called him back and said, "It sounds like me and some of the other men from the group need to come over to your house and have a talk with you about this." This man related to Rob that this was done in a very threatening manner as well.
The reality is, if Rob decided to stay in this group it most likely would have ended our relationship. I never told him that, it was a conclusion that I hoped that he would come to himself, but the odds of this happening if he stayed in the group were diminishing quickly due the constant brainwashing about "women and their place," plus all of the other cr*p Sterling and the other men preach. Also, they were starting to try and get more and mor eof his time with their "commitments."
Rob also called the point leader and told him he would not be returning and without being too specific, this man was very agressive with him and berated him saying, he made a commitment and he had to be there, no questions no excuses.
Now, just yesterday, someone took Rob's number from his Weekend registration and called to ask if "his woman" would like to attend the upcoming Woman's Weekend. He told them not to call again and hung up, I told Rob he should have told them, "No, but she would like to burn the place to the ground." Hypothetically of course :)
Lastly, Rob was ripe for the picking for this type of group. He was feeling down about some things and someone we knew told him about this, naturally, they gave him the "just trust the process" line. The scariest thing about this is that Rob did become clearer about some things that he wanted to change in his life during the Weekend. He was on high like I had never seen in anyone, who was not on drugs, (I am a former psych professional) after he came home from this thing. Of course he had been with next to no food, water or sleep.
In my opinion, that is where the real problems begin, they are recruiting the men to the Weekly Meetings under the guise of support but the real purpose is to get more men to attend the Weekends throughout the year. The men leading these are not qualified to help these men, some whom have opened up some serious issues from their lives and some with very serious problems. On the first Weekly Meeting the Point Leader pushed hard to get all of the men to commit to getting another man to sign up, this was the big push at every Meeting.
The irresponsibility of "the process" and what they are teaching is ghastly.
Please forgive the long post, I guess I had more to say than I originally expected. :)