A Landmark Joke to lighten the mood
Posted by:
John Fox
()
Date: October 11, 2007 09:02AM
Somewhere (possibly the Cayman Islands) inside a deep extinct-volcano fortress an alert sounds. YouTube alert. Dr Evil's eyes instantly light up and then transform to the narrow focus of horror.
"Oh no. Not again. And we still don't have the money needed to buy YouTube out ... yet."
Dr Evil realises what will happen if the great unbrainwashed masses see this video of the drooling lightbulb changer expounding on how his life has been significantly changed for the better (yet unable to give any real detail of these changes).
"This could be worse than France. And we [u:eccd00c436]can't[/u:eccd00c436] afford to leave America!"
Dr Evil knows from painful past experience that the video must come down. "We don't keep all their contact details on file for nothing" he thinks to himself. He sends word out to his top level volunteer minions to identify which attendee is in the video. "This man must be stopped".
The race is on as time ticks away.
"Oh no. Not again. And we still don't have the money needed to buy YouTube out ... yet."
Dr Evil realises what will happen if the great unbrainwashed masses see this video of the drooling lightbulb changer expounding on how his life has been significantly changed for the better (yet unable to give any real detail of these changes).
"This could be worse than France. And we [u:eccd00c436]can't[/u:eccd00c436] afford to leave America!"
Dr Evil knows from painful past experience that the video must come down. "We don't keep all their contact details on file for nothing" he thinks to himself. He sends word out to his top level volunteer minions to identify which attendee is in the video. "This man must be stopped".
The race is on as time ticks away.
A Landmark Joke to lighten the mood
Posted by:
ON2 LF
()
Date: October 11, 2007 11:41AM
Quote
Somewhere (possibly the Cayman Islands) inside a deep extinct-volcano fortress an alert sounds. YouTube alert. Dr Evil's eyes instantly light up and then transform to the narrow focus of horror.
:shock: not [b:4afc4f7813][i:4afc4f7813]the [/i:4afc4f7813][/b:4afc4f7813]horrid light bulb inventing Dr. evil? ...Does Dr. Evil crawl out from under his rickety bridge inside the dark and smelly volcano to clone a 34th light bulb changer, to rush to the drooler's homework party with the orders to remove the video?? What happens next?! :shock:
A Landmark Joke to lighten the mood
Posted by:
John Fox
()
Date: October 11, 2007 11:46AM
Dr Evil says to himself "Great. I just [i:fecb60996b]love[/i:fecb60996b] playing whack-a-mole with these videos."
"Art! Where the hell are you?" Dr Evil screams.
A smaller cloned version of Dr Evil enters the scene.
"Art! Where the hell are you?" Dr Evil screams.
A smaller cloned version of Dr Evil enters the scene.
A Landmark Joke to lighten the mood
Posted by:
ON2 LF
()
Date: October 11, 2007 12:40PM
Quote
Dr Evil says to himself "Great. I just love playing whack-a-mole
...probably from all those pre-volcano days when his friends played smack-a-troll everyday, and he was the troll then too...
Is it possible to clone something smaller than the troll? What does this smaller clone do? Or, who does he threaten? Is there a 35th clone about to get used for courier-the-letter, [i:fae8da34b2]then[/i:fae8da34b2] go help change the light bulb? :P
A Landmark Joke to lighten the mood
Posted by:
Blue Pill
()
Date: October 12, 2007 12:47AM
Back to the Light Bulb changing forum.............
3AM in the morning, in some city somewhere. Everyone else is either sleeping, getting laid or generally getting on with “normal” human activity
#35 Takes to the stand with mild trepidation, sweat glistening oh his forehead.
LBCFL "YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SHARE WITH THE GROUP"
#35 "Well yes"
LBCFL "WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
#35 "Ummm yes, well……… I was just thinking that we have now been talking about changing this light bulb for 6 hours now"
LBCFL "YES, AND!!!!!!!!"
#35 "Well, yes um, well I just thought. like maybe, well......um, I might be just easier for one of the group, um, if its like, OK with the whole group ethic thing. (Pausing to mop his brow) for us to like, choose someone to actually change the light bulb, um, instead of just, um......talking about doing it"
LBCFL - Dramatic Pause. Brushes his trousers. Looks at audience for added drama. "Soooo, its that simple is it #35, YOU DARE, to stand there and spout out this personal agenda, this OPINION!!!! founded on what I ask!!!!!! You are a selfish, evil MONSTER, perverting the group with your "Oh, lets not talk about things , lets just do something" SACRILEGE!!!!! . You make me want to PUKE!!!!!!! (Over the top” throwing up” mime for added effect)
#35 – “Im so sorry, I only meant to………help……um…..no please DON’T!!!!!”
LBCFL – “This Education organisation does not tolerate individual opinions # 35” Leans to his left and pulls a strange lever on his director’s chair.
A trapdoor under #35 suddenly opens and #35 disappears from the scene. “Aggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!”
The drapes behind the leader slowly begin to part, revealing a large video screen. #35 is seen to fall into a large swimming pool, infested with Sharks who proceed to rip #35 into a bloody, flaccid carcass.
The drapes slowly close again.
LBCFL – “So…..any other contributions anyone?”
3AM in the morning, in some city somewhere. Everyone else is either sleeping, getting laid or generally getting on with “normal” human activity
#35 Takes to the stand with mild trepidation, sweat glistening oh his forehead.
LBCFL "YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SHARE WITH THE GROUP"
#35 "Well yes"
LBCFL "WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
#35 "Ummm yes, well……… I was just thinking that we have now been talking about changing this light bulb for 6 hours now"
LBCFL "YES, AND!!!!!!!!"
#35 "Well, yes um, well I just thought. like maybe, well......um, I might be just easier for one of the group, um, if its like, OK with the whole group ethic thing. (Pausing to mop his brow) for us to like, choose someone to actually change the light bulb, um, instead of just, um......talking about doing it"
LBCFL - Dramatic Pause. Brushes his trousers. Looks at audience for added drama. "Soooo, its that simple is it #35, YOU DARE, to stand there and spout out this personal agenda, this OPINION!!!! founded on what I ask!!!!!! You are a selfish, evil MONSTER, perverting the group with your "Oh, lets not talk about things , lets just do something" SACRILEGE!!!!! . You make me want to PUKE!!!!!!! (Over the top” throwing up” mime for added effect)
#35 – “Im so sorry, I only meant to………help……um…..no please DON’T!!!!!”
LBCFL – “This Education organisation does not tolerate individual opinions # 35” Leans to his left and pulls a strange lever on his director’s chair.
A trapdoor under #35 suddenly opens and #35 disappears from the scene. “Aggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!”
The drapes behind the leader slowly begin to part, revealing a large video screen. #35 is seen to fall into a large swimming pool, infested with Sharks who proceed to rip #35 into a bloody, flaccid carcass.
The drapes slowly close again.
LBCFL – “So…..any other contributions anyone?”
A Landmark Joke to lighten the mood
Posted by:
Jack Oskar Larm
()
Date: October 12, 2007 05:22AM
She doesn't know her place in the larger picture yet, but #36 is seated in the front row, taking mental notes and recording the whole sordid affair on video for an Australian news channel. The tiny camera captures endless footage of the 'light bulb' drama.
When the footage is aired it causes tremors throughout the Australian organisation and it has to retreat for awhile to New Zealand. Eventually, the footage is made available on the Internet and ten's of thousands of people bear witness to the 'light bulb' drama.
In a soft, secret place in all the 'authentic' light bulb changers, the gutter journalism of the video only makes them more united, stronger. Deeper down in that soft, secret place they're able to ride the scandal like the very first high. Egos charged and smiling. They all look at each other and silently thank #36 for making it all seem that little bit more meaningless in a meaningful way, if you know what I mean ...
When the footage is aired it causes tremors throughout the Australian organisation and it has to retreat for awhile to New Zealand. Eventually, the footage is made available on the Internet and ten's of thousands of people bear witness to the 'light bulb' drama.
In a soft, secret place in all the 'authentic' light bulb changers, the gutter journalism of the video only makes them more united, stronger. Deeper down in that soft, secret place they're able to ride the scandal like the very first high. Egos charged and smiling. They all look at each other and silently thank #36 for making it all seem that little bit more meaningless in a meaningful way, if you know what I mean ...
A Landmark Joke to lighten the mood
Posted by:
yutolia
()
Date: October 12, 2007 06:11AM
Because of the fact that they vacated to New Zealand, the light bulb-lekkies have left their hotel ballroom with the broken light bulb. A maid comes in a changes it while cleaning up.
A Landmark Joke to lighten the mood
Posted by:
Blue Pill
()
Date: October 13, 2007 01:14AM
Earth Construction Project……..Day 7……..In Heaven
God refers to his “To do” list and shakes his head. Like all projects, the rubbish stuff has been left till last “How am I going to create all this shit by the close of business today and justify their creation?”. He asks himself. The list reads thus –
Wasps
Socks with bobbles on the back
The Republican Party
Train spotters
Football supporters
Bottled Water
“Baby on Board” car stickers
The French
Overcooked Pasta
Country & Western music
The British Climate
Taxes
Call centres
Celebrities
Mullet Haircuts
Package Holidays
Email
Personalised Number Plates
After much thought a revelation! He needs to create something to be even worse than all these things combined together, and most cunning of all to justify, even excuse the need for having them, to brainwash humankind to accept their existence
And lo……he created Werner Erhard, EST and Landmark Education
Back to the Light Bulb changing forum……….
#36, in a trance after watching #35 being ripped to shreds suddenly has a “light bulb” like revelation………………
God refers to his “To do” list and shakes his head. Like all projects, the rubbish stuff has been left till last “How am I going to create all this shit by the close of business today and justify their creation?”. He asks himself. The list reads thus –
Wasps
Socks with bobbles on the back
The Republican Party
Train spotters
Football supporters
Bottled Water
“Baby on Board” car stickers
The French
Overcooked Pasta
Country & Western music
The British Climate
Taxes
Call centres
Celebrities
Mullet Haircuts
Package Holidays
Personalised Number Plates
After much thought a revelation! He needs to create something to be even worse than all these things combined together, and most cunning of all to justify, even excuse the need for having them, to brainwash humankind to accept their existence
And lo……he created Werner Erhard, EST and Landmark Education
Back to the Light Bulb changing forum……….
#36, in a trance after watching #35 being ripped to shreds suddenly has a “light bulb” like revelation………………
Re: A Landmark Joke to lighten the mood
Posted by:
John Fox
()
Date: October 13, 2007 08:13PM
Oh .... why yes .... I AM a lightbulb.
And I need to change.
And I need to change.
Re: A Landmark Joke to lighten the mood
Posted by:
ON2 LF
()
Date: October 14, 2007 02:24PM
#37 begins to see what should've been a disturbing pattern in the behaviors of the quite obviously incompetent light bulb changers. However, it does not seem the time or the place to point out the weird coversations, unorthodox approaches to changing a light bulb, perseverative (and unsuccessful) attempts at changing the bulb, pathological perceptions of either being the socket or the light bulb itself. #37 shrugs off these subtle realizations and bears down with the rest of the light bulb changers, getting a second wind after the last second wind, 37 hasn't slept in what seems ages, and still must drive two or three hours before getting home to sleep.
On the way home it suddenly becomes clear as a megawatt light...#36 really was the light bulb...how foolish and inauthentic of 37 to doubt...how absurd to suddenly realize that 37 was actually the electrical current all along...how careless of him to continually shock his friends, his family...
#37 realizes so crystally that dozens more light bulb changers will be required...dozens more must achieve the pure and radiant state of the light bulb...can't go to bed yet, will sleep when he's dead...must begin calling...where's the phonebook...
On the way home it suddenly becomes clear as a megawatt light...#36 really was the light bulb...how foolish and inauthentic of 37 to doubt...how absurd to suddenly realize that 37 was actually the electrical current all along...how careless of him to continually shock his friends, his family...
#37 realizes so crystally that dozens more light bulb changers will be required...dozens more must achieve the pure and radiant state of the light bulb...can't go to bed yet, will sleep when he's dead...must begin calling...where's the phonebook...
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