Please anyone help me with advice on handling my situation. The building I work in, a converted victorian house, is called "the Intentional Living Institute". I don't work for this group directly; I work in a business located there. They rent out non-affiliated businesses there. However, my business is neck-deep in the group, more than I ever imagined. I don't think I can handle the drumming and chanting that goes on when they conduct thier "seminars". Their "info" is framed and hanging everywhere (none of it makes any sense). I have read thier printed info when I have been asked to xerox it...It is dubbed "Leadership/Relationship" training, but it all reads as ways to psycologically manipulate others into getting your way. My boss has been taking thier courses for over four years, I've come to find out. She cannot do anything without consulting the Group's leaders. These courses cost $3,000 a year, and up untill her husband left her last Christmas, she was paying for both her and him. This group offers "Scholarships", but if you go that road
they make you do work for them, and you cannot escape thier grip. (She has been under scholarship for some of this time). I have witnessed the "Leader" humiliating and berating a member who tried to explain why he didn't have some paper finished for presentation to the group. (Apparently he didn't have time to finish it) I was frightened to see a grown man grovel like a four year old child. All the members are secretive, and look at me like I am a green alien. They know I have no money (The members are mostly children of wealthy parents) so I have been spared too many invites. I made a printout of the "Dysfunction in Training Organizations" article and gave it to my boss. I am wondering if she even glanced at it before throwing it out. This group has made her a laughing stock in her professional community, her husband has left her (although he is having a tough time distancing himsef from the group). All other people who work with her (my boss) are catching onto her manipulations and false promises. She decided we should start hodling our business meetings structured around the ILI'S method of "Breakdowns and Breakthroughs". I finally told her point-blank that the ILI teaches manipulation, and that this method was dangerous in the hands of someone with evil intentions. I have have never seen anyone so angry. She didn't say a word, but her expression was vicious. I know I am most likely wasting my time trying to tell her she is being controlled mentally and financially.The job situation in my city is grave, but I may just have to let it go....Can anyone offer anything?:confused:

Dont get financially entangled with them, no matter what. And the longer you stay anxious and stressed, the more tired you will be and that will put you at risk of 1) making a harmful decision and 2) getting accident prone.

It sounds like you know you are involved (however peripherally) with a bad organization. Adults cannot transform for the better if subjected to emotional abuse.

This article will help you see exactly how this group is subverting its own stated goals.

[www.deikman.com]


If you have the time, you can try and do Google searches (both Google and the Google groups) on each of the staff members' names. It will be interesting and informative to find out what other groups or teachers they got involved with before starting the ITL

Am curious--are they in the SF/Bay Area, or are they still confined to the Chapel Hill/NC?


I am afraid there is not much you can do for your former boss. She's already made such a heavy commitment and lost both her marriage (and a pot of money) that she's probably hell bent on justifying her affiliation with the group.

She will probably only leave when she becomes so exhausted that she loses the energy to sustain the state of illusion she's currently in. As long as we have enough energy reserves to give ourselves boosts of adrenalin, we can justify damn near any amount of abuse.

Its usually when people are just plain exhausted, physically, as well as financially, that they begin to question the situation. And that point of adrenal depletion/exhaustion is different for everyone.

Your boss knows you're concerned and that is enough. She may contact you later, if she comes to her senses. In the meantime, Id recommend finding another place to work so you can get out of there. Thanks for warning us. If you like, go to [www.craigslist.org] look for a city near your area and consider posting a warning about this group. You can supply the URL to this thread in the RR.com discussion section.

Try and get out of there ASAP. The winter holidays are not far off, and 1) they are high stress and 2) its tempting to put off major decisions 'Until after the holidays'.

Good luck. Let us know how you're doing!

I am deeply saddened and disturbed by the posting which maligns the work of the Intentional Living Institute. This is a wonderful example of how badly dialogue is needed in the world. And while I understand this website cannot take responsibility for postings, I find it personally important to check some facts myself.

I have participated in the full coaching circle of the ILI for three years and I have found it a wonderful and challenging organization, full of tools and skills, mentoring and personal development. At no time did I feel manipulated or pressured to do anything that was against my will. I have learned a great deal from the ILI in terms of conflict resolution, emotional intelligence, and communication.

Polly Weiss[/b]