felixcatski,
You're quite welcome for the posting.
The problem you describe is not uncommon and is unfortunate. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Sometimes graduates of the entry courses learn just enough 'language' to be dangerous and then take their 'newly found vocabulary' out to 'save the world'.
It would appear that your friends may be in this group.
The facilitators repeatedly stress that the course is about YOU (the participant) and not your spouse and not your friends etc etc. Its about finding out how 'you' show up in life, how 'your' decisions affect your results, why 'you' make those decisions and, with effort, how 'you' can make different choices.
For obvious reasons, they strongly encourage parcitipants not to take the 'vocabulary' with them out into the world. Clearly, if you (average joe on the street) don't know exactly what 'victim mentality' means to your friend, how can you possibly relate to, or understand, a comment that imples you [u:60ab43f85a]have one[/u:60ab43f85a]. And you (as the recipient) will, in all probability, take it as 'judgemental', 'condescending', 'arrogant', 'superior' and a host of other reactions and it will only serve to build a wall between the two of you. Probably not all in the way it was intended. Your friends have violated one of the fundamental rules "Never give feedback without permission."
From what you have said, I will guess that your friends have not gone beyond the first (perhaps the second) level course. The first two courses give us the tools we need to be a detective with ourselves. Neither course qualifies anyone to 'analyze' or 'diagnose' or 'judge' anyone else.
The first class will open your eyes to 'how you show up in life', 'how others see you' and 'how you play the game of life' (provided you're open to finding that out). The second course helps you understand 'why' you make the decisions you do and offers some ways to 'choose' differently.
I'm glad to hear that you still care about your friends and are still friends with them. I ask that you be patient with them. Hopefully they will continue through the rest of the courses and will focus their energy 'inward' and stop inflicting you with their well intended, yet 'amature', diagnoses.
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Guess Im just " in resistance," HUH ?
Naw, perhaps just a little 'resentment' due to unsoliciated feedback and analysys from your friends. The next time they start in with you, just tell them "Thanks! But I'm not open to feedback right now!" :lol: Or, better still, "Thanks for the feedback. Were you aware that you cannot see something in someone else which is not also in yourself?" :D
Your friends are well-intended. Most likely, it's just easier for them to work with 'your issues' than it is to work with 'their own' right now. Perhaps they are 'in resistance' to something they feel they need to change in their own lives!
Best Regards Sir,
Best wishes to your friends,
DG
Keep smiling.