Hi leftcoast8,
This is probably too late to help you in your predicament. I just found these forums today and have been reading a lot of the threads.
However, having done the Landmark Forum, here's my 2 cents worth for anyone else finding themselves in a similar predicament.
For background info, I did the Landmark Forum myself quite recently, mainly out of curiosity.. I read a lot good and bad beforehand so went into it having made what I considered an informed desicion, well prepared, with my guard up. I walked away happy and motivated by a few snippets of common sense (that incidentally i don't think were anything new to me, in principal) and am glad I did it, but on the whole spent a lot of the time worrying what it was everyone was 'getting' that I wasn't, I didn't bring others into the fold, I didn't 'phone a friend', and after initial disappointment at my apparent lack of 'transformation', my life and relationships with those around me have more or less continued as they were previously (but fulfilled in the knowledge that my curiosity is satisfied :wink: ).
The main point I want to make is that I think the girl's main objective is to get 'complete' with you. (In straight English, this means admit her wrongdoing, you accept her apology and ideally forgive her, essentially so she no longer feels bad about it). 'Completing your past' is a big cornerstone of the landmark forum. But by questioning her (provoking her, egging her on, whatever you want to call it) she is not getting complete with you. She therefore persists and tries harder to get complete with you in a way that 'moves, touches and inspires' you. If you actually just accept what she says (i.e. yes, you agree, she wronged you, thank you apology accepted, full stop) instead of challenge her, she then gets complete.
This might be dishonest of you ('inauthentic' in the LM lingo) for you to tell her that, but it could go a long way to getting her off your back!
Additionally, she also states:
Quote
I will never give up on whatever relationship we have (whether it's never talking again, or becoming friends again).
Call her on this. Hold her to her word. Tell her you 'choose' never to talk again, and that is what you are 'committed' to. (again, LM speak - she can not argue with that). (If, of course, that is what you want!)
All of the above is assuming (as was the overwhelming tone of your posts) that you don't actually care about her or want anything to do with her. But it gets a bit trickier in a situation where it is someone close to you, who you actually respect or care about or love and want in your life... :? There, the path is not so clear.
However, this does not tackle the issue of recruitment, or 'enrollment', and whether she will be satisfied being 'complete' without further attempting to enroll you. I can identify almost every word she wrote as Landmark speak in some form. Somewhere along the thread, it was mentioned that she was being sneaky and manipulative. From my experience of Landmark, this is probably not conscious manipulation on her part, rather it's what she truly believes. Any conscious manipulation is more likely to be coming from further up the landmark ladder, she's simply a parrot doing as she's been told. However, having done no further courses myself, I cannot comment on what is encouraged in the other courses she has been doing... (perhaps they have special sneakiness seminars.. :lol: )
Should the enrollment attempts continue, a couple of points that may be useful in your defence:
What was impressed upon me during my experience (and often given in reply to participants who complained that they had been pressured by friends to be at the forum) was that "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do". So don't. State that you 'choose' not to and stick to it ('be committed to your word', to use the lingo).
Similarly, we were encouraged to treat the forum as a jacket and told to "try it on..." "If you don't like the new one you can always take it off and put the old one back on again". However, we don't go around the shops trying on jackets we wouldn't be seen dead in! So if you don't like the look of it, don't try it on in the first place!
I hope this is helpful. I also hope you don't think my use of Landmark 'speak' or suggesting you use it in your defence is a subtle attempt to try to enroll you without you knowing it! :wink: It's purely to give you the option of fighting fire with fire - communicating with language that might actually have the desired effect and finally get through to them!!!
All the best!