Life after LGAT - Severe Anxiety
Posted by: Jacklan ()
Date: August 28, 2019 02:56AM

Hey Everyone,

I've spent some time in the past reading through these forums, but am fairly new as a registered user. I apologize if this post is mis-categorized.

A couple of years ago I had the misfortune of experiencing an LGAT. The group had done (from what I could tell) wonders for my depressed girlfriend, and based on where is she now versus where she was, I'd say it helped her to a degree. So, after she and many others pushed me, I eventually enrolled myself.

Of course I experienced the same "life changing" high that came with it after graduating. They used the typical model (feedback arcs, red/black game, the four fingered solute, etc. basically a spin off of the Great Life Foundation). And, for a while I felt like I could take on the world, and had escaped the things that "held me back", I've even staffed a great number of times to surround myself in the culture of it.

Fast forward to present day, and I have never been filled with more anxiety and stress in my life. Just the idea of talking to people makes me anxious and nervous, whereas it was not like this before. I feel depressed, and without energy. I've witnessed first hand the dangers of the effects that LGATs can have, having my own family member suffer from full fledged psychosis and multiple suicide attempts after his experience.

For those of you that got out, what kind of resources would you recommend in overcoming the emotional/psychological damage that's been incurred? It's strange, because half of me still believes in the jargon, and the other half wants out. I'm constantly surrounded by people that are involved with the group in my relationships, so sometimes it seems impossible to totally disconnect from it.

Any thoughts, support, and resources would be greatly appreciated!

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Re: Life after LGAT - Severe Anxiety
Posted by: kdag ()
Date: August 28, 2019 08:15AM

Hi Jacklan,

I'm sorry to hear that you're suffering. I'm no expert, and I can't speak for everyone, but I had to cut all ties to anyone who was involved with "my" LGAT, (which was Landmark). This meant breaking off what I had believed to be friendships, including some that I had thought were pretty close friendships, that had predated my LGAT involvement.

LGATS practice psychological abuse, and so getting away takes much the same steps needed to get away from any psychological abuser. It IS hard, and cognitive dissonance makes us wonder if maybe we are wrong. I have to take a step back from that type of thinking, and remind myself that NO healthy relationship should make me feel that way, whether it is with a single person or an entire group of them.

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Re: Life after LGAT - Severe Anxiety
Posted by: SpeakingUp ()
Date: January 03, 2020 01:22AM

Hi Jacklan,

I would like to say how sorry I was to read your experiences.

I would really recommend that you go easy on yourself and start up some self care techniques like meditation, mindfulness or yoga. Something gentle and caring. These things help my anxiety and depression. There are free resources on the internet and YouTube has loads of helpful videos.

Also, self care includes doing nice things for yourself like cook your favourite meal, have a bath, read a book, do a duvet day...anything that's nurturing and makes you feel better.

If there is anything creative you can focus on that also can help - drawing, painting, writing.....put all that negative energy into something positive.

I really hope you have friends and family who you can trust and talk to. I have also found therapy to be helpful.

Take each day a step at a time. Hope these things help.

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Re: Life after LGAT - Severe Anxiety
Posted by: Truecrimewriter ()
Date: January 08, 2020 04:50PM

During my research I am bowled over by the similarities between domestic violence and cult membership.I have taught domestic violence prevention and awareness for over 30 years. So it seems like escaping the emotional problems caused by these organizations would be akin to escaping those in an abusive relationship.
Counseling? So many organizations online fighting these cults and educating the public - they must have resources!
All of the replies on this thread are wonderful. Good luck and remember there is no one as unique as YOU.

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