bakkagirl, your mailbox is full...
In reading numerous accounts of how people found themselves inducted into Landmark, there is this element there -- they don't want to believe they are being duped, so they do their own mental back flips to rationalize the experience.
I think we could call this kind of shame, "collateral".
My experience was that I did not want to reassess whether or not my recruiter, ("friend"), was trustworthy. I still WANTED TO BELIEVE that she was a decent human being, and would not deliberately do me harm.
Yes, yes, yes.
Years ago, I found out that a person I loved and trusted as my second mother
was not who she presented herself as being.
Through a series of events, supplemented by my finding documents on public record, I discovered that X habitually lied. She lied even when I repeatedly
told her it was better for me to know the truth, however painful.
She kept lies going even when dying.
And after she died, I discovered she had repeatedly, systematically lied
in ways that ruined other people's lives.
All my life I had been convinced X was a loveable, trustworthy person, someone with a heart.
I was emotionally shattered when learning this. And through X's lies, I had incurred grave financial consequences.
All this was 11 years ago.
I spent months suffering from insomnia. Fortunately I had access to medical attention. I was also fortunate that I was relatively young, was physically fit, and had no serious underlying psychological or psychiatric disorder.
Otherwise, I might have needed inpatient medical care.
As it was, I was left questioning my own judgement and also questioned and re assessed memories I formerly took for granted.
It is a terrible thing to believe someone is trustworthy because the person has
presented as trustworthy and has a public reputation as being trustworthy and then to discover that person is not trustworthy.
And discover that person has sacrificed your welfare and other people's welfare in order to keep the lie going.
In my case, I found one other person who had been betrayed and we could support each other.
Everyone else continued to celebrate X has being a wonderful person.
Making these discoveries and not having a support network is bitterly lonely.
Which is why support networks such as the CEI message board are so important.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/24/2018 08:06PM by corboy.