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skeptic
Yes, I realized that what was being taught in the LGAT I was in was dysfunctional ways of coping with REAL LIFE. Self-deception tops the list of coping strategies. We were taught how to lie, first and foremost, to ourselves. It was called "reframing". We were taught to lie about the world around us. We were taught how to dodge, deny, avoid, evade REAL LIFE (the messy parts). We were taught to fabricate a reality that suited us, nevermind evidence to the contrary! We were taught how to live crippled lives, based on the lies we told ourselves.
Perhaps the more investetd in the lies people are, the more difficult it is to see through them, the more the lies seem like truth. 2+2=5.
All the lies crashed in on me the day REAL LIFE hit me hard. When my father died I started to see through the lies in a real big way. It was his death that was the beginning of the end of my years in the LGAT trance.
skeptic
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I do not want to change you or who you are. I think you are an incerdible and amazing woman. I've said it before, and I truely do think you are perfect and complete just the way you are. You do not need to change. No one does.
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I do not communicate with you. I read what you say, I listen to what you say, and no matter how many times I read it or re-hear it I just don't seem to get it. No matter how many times I say something, I never seem to be able to feel heard. We communicate very differently. Our communication styles don't work well together.
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leftcoast8
So do I just give up the ghost here?
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tywebb
WOW..it's really frightening to see that you were told almost verbatim the same thing that I heard from my fiancee.
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fleur
I have been involved in the Landmark forum conversation for nearly three years. I left it for a while though and have recently gone back to attend an integrity seminar. It was good to be back. I saw huge ammounts of possibility for me and my life, my partner and our future. I took it all on, but when I told my boy friend about the course, and he looked up on line and found all you guys and your experiences he got crazy worried and concerned. i told him not to worry and he told me to look at this sight which I have now and registered so I can chat.
I think there is something great about the work, the insights, the breakthroughs that people have, it is very moving, BUT on the other hand it is dominating, and there are queries that I never had answered.
I was concerned about the money thing too seeing as so many people volunteer their time.
I need some advice from people who have done it thought it had good points as well as bad.
Pls help,
Cheers :roll: :?
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tywebbQuote
fleur
I have been involved in the Landmark forum conversation for nearly three years. I left it for a while though and have recently gone back to attend an integrity seminar. It was good to be back. I saw huge ammounts of possibility for me and my life, my partner and our future. I took it all on, but when I told my boy friend about the course, and he looked up on line and found all you guys and your experiences he got crazy worried and concerned. i told him not to worry and he told me to look at this sight which I have now and registered so I can chat.
I think there is something great about the work, the insights, the breakthroughs that people have, it is very moving, BUT on the other hand it is dominating, and there are queries that I never had answered.
I was concerned about the money thing too seeing as so many people volunteer their time.
I need some advice from people who have done it thought it had good points as well as bad.
Pls help,
Cheers :roll: :?
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lightwolf
Whatever you decide to do, just realize that you won't convince her of anything. I would bet that while she cries that you don't listen to her, she has made no effort to hear your concerns. That will not change. Until she has her doubts, and wants to hear, she won't listen to anybody. So you have to ask yourself if you're willing to stick around and be treated poorly while you give the doubts a chance to surface. Nobody can answer that for you. It depends upon your level of personal committment to her. If it is low (which is OK), then leaving might be better. If it is high, then maybe sticking around is possible. Whatever you do, make sure you have some boundaries, so you don't get trapped by the savior complex or enmeshed in this stuff with her. If you start getting caught in these traps, then time to leave.
Good luck.
-lightwolf