The LGAT concept of forgiveness
Posted by: kdag ()
Date: July 07, 2017 05:32AM

One of the biggest problems I had in my experience with LGATs was with their concept of forgiveness.

To me, forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation. It does not mean that one has to allow the offender back into one's life, but can be as simple as putting the whole thing behind you and walking away. I had done that. Forgiveness can happen in stages, with the first being to walk away and trying to rebuild your life. Another stage would be to stop thinking about what was done to you, and/or to let go of any resentment. I wasn't there yet, so of course this was perceived to be my "racket."

The LGAT people I encountered had a whole different concept of forgiveness. To them, forgiveness means that you could meet the offender again as if you were meeting them for the first time. There would be no "bad blood" between you, and you would have no expectations, either positive or negative. I can see how this could work with small offenses and misunderstandings, but LGATS expect you to apply this concept to EVERYTHING.

One of their exercises asks participants to think of a situation where they were wronged, and take the blame upon themselves. Then the participant is expected to contact the other person involved and apologize for having been "inauthentic." I encountered one person who said that she had forgiven someone who had molested her as a child, and had invited him to an L.E. introduction. As far as I"m concerned, that may have been the best revenge she could have gotten, but I don't think that was her intent.

To me, it all depends on the magnitude of the offense, and whether or not the harm done was deliberate, as the last is an indication of character. Sometimes people can unintentionally harm others because they are wrapped up in their own lives, and just don't think. Others lack information or are acting on faulty beliefs and assumptions. These things are easier to forgive.

If you take the LGAT concept of forgiveness, and apply it to having been bitten by a rabid dog, (or a sociopath), the stupidity is self-evident. It would be as if they would expect you to reach out your hand to pet the same rabid dog again.

To the LGAT people, the phrase "never again," must never be uttered, but sometimes "never again," is by far the best plan. I would even say that it reflects an ability to learn from experience.

Sometimes, there is nothing to forgive. Sometimes people operate under faulty assumptions, and you will never convince them otherwise. You can stand there and scream at a brick wall, but, once you have discerned that it is a brick wall, you would be crazy to waste your breath. Additionally, one cannot blame a brick wall for being what it is. As the LGAT people love to say, "It is what it is, and it's not what it's not."

As Albert Einstein said: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results." Sometimes, you just have to walk away.

Over and out.

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