I could really use some of your help!

I just read every story in this thread and am really shocked at how much it is just like my story.

Over the last year I started dating a woman that seemed awesome. Last September she went off California for a month to work at the PSI ranch (Principia). She said " its a 2 week paid event production gig that I do every year for the last 14 years". I paid $1500 for her travel expenses to do this trip.

Her behavior changed drastically when she got to the ranch. She was in California a week before and a week after which her behavior seemed more normal, however the week after was not as normal. When she got to the ranch we had agreed that she would call me each night before she went to bed. This didn't happen. I got a few texts here and there, but she could not explain to me anything that was going on. I asked all kinds of questions, and she would just say, " I will explain it all to you when I get home". So I started googling it. I came across many of the reviews on pissedoffconsumer.com and many of the other sites that have reviews from both ex members and current members.

I lost a couple days of sleep reading all of the stories, and then asking some of her friends that I knew had done PSI before, and asking her the same questions. It was amazing how every one of them all said the same rebuttals verbatim.

I started taking notes of her behavior, and observations, which added up to about 10 pages of notes while she was gone.

While she was there she was working 16 hours a day for 2 weeks straight, she only made $1500, so we netted nothing and she worked until she was sick for nothing, however, she never gave me the $1500 she made, she spent it on herself. She was not allowed to carry her cell phone, but was high enough on the ladder to bring her car so she could run errands for the group. This was my only time I could talk with her. However, each time we talked we argued.

I asked her to leave the ranch immediately and go to her dads house, and I would buy a new ticket for her to come back early. She refused. She said, this group is a part of her life, and I need to accept it. She also was talking with Jane Willhite about having children with me. Her husband is a DR and put together a bunch of information about a genetic condition that my GF has and how it affects pregnancy. My GF left this at her dads house which she stayed after she finally left the ranch.

Once the students left, she got to move from the bunk houses to the main huge ranch house. I would then start talking a bit more with her, still very different behavior. I would talk her to sleep when she would finally get to her bedroom, and in the morning one day she said she didn't sleep at all. I asked why and she said there were ghosts speaking to her all night. I said that sounds creepy, and she should leave. She replied this by text, "If they are ghosts, then they are the ghosts of Thomas Willhite and William Patrick Penn, two wonderful and kind men, I will never feel fear from them". I was shocked.

I was counting down the minutes until she left this place to try and see if there was anything worth salvaging here. She kept asking if I wanted her to still come home, and I did foolishly. See, we had moved into a really nice house, and I was starting a new business for us both to run together. I had spent my life savings on this relationship to work, and so I wasn't ready to let this dream go yet. Also, I had watched my wife die from cancer 2 years prior so this was my chance at a whole new life.

Once she left the ranch we had a few more talks, and I had organized a plan on how to break it to her that this was a dangerous group that had undue influence on her mind. I organized books, videos, websites, articles, a whole packet. The deal was, if she would read all this material, then I would go to Psi basic. She agreed and told me how much it would mean to her if I would go. I did not want to go at all, and I didn't, but I am strong enough minded that I would have stuck to my guns through it if she actually did go through with her end of the deal.

Once she got home, she was a bit different. But we quickly got back into the romantic nature of our relationship. After a few days had passed, I sat her down and we started to talk. I went over the observations of her behavior while she was gone, and also the love notes from guys on her FB page, and new male friends. I then showed her the information I had gathered for her to review. She got really pissed, and only read about 2 paragraphs. She refused to look at anything else, and she made me the deal, I will never go back, if you don't make me do this. I saw that as a win, and since I live very far away from California, I thought it would be easy to keep her from going back. So I agreed, and we dropped it.

We moved on in our relationship and I kept working really hard to build my new business. She didn't help very much at all with the business. So, in the end of November we moved to a smaller house because the other was too expensive and we needed more time to get the new business going. She chose the new place, which I wasn't thrilled about.

So, now we come to new years eve of last year. She was late on her cycle, and so we got the home pregnancy test. We both watched the clock and then uncovered the results and it was positive, which sent chills through my body. I was scared but absolutely thrilled. She seemed happy too, and we celebrated.

2 days later, I remembered she had all the pregnancy paperwork from Jane Willhite's husband was at her dads house, so I said call your dad right away and have him mail you that info. That never came.

We started looking at wedding rings and baby stuff. I was really happy. She decided to get a job so she could have her own income while I was finishing the set up of my business. All was well, that is, until January 25th.

I woke up a bit late as I stayed up late working on my business, and she was sitting on the couch. I started talking and she had a weird vibe, but I was talking about what I was working on, and asked if she could help me with some calls that needed to be made. She refused, then said, I have decided to go back to California and have this baby on my own.

I was blown away! It sent chills through me, and I almost fainted. I could not believe she could just flip the switch off so fast. It was really emotionally damaging for me. I tried reasoning, listening, begging, offering to move with her anywhere she wanted to go, anything to keep us together. She refused.

She then demanded that I buy her the ticket for 48 hours away, and said I have until the time her flight takes off to make up my mind if I will send money for the child, christmas gifts, etc. If I did she said, I will get to "come visit". But she also said I will not be able to bring my child back to where I have lived for 15 years ever, because she was afraid I would disappear, which is nonsense. I was absolutely crushed and with the emotions running I said there is no way I can make this decision in the next 48 hours as you have just ruined my life, and I need to make sure I make these decisions from a more grounded peace of mind. for those 48 hours she was stone cold. No love at all. So, a few hours before she flew out we had one last talk. This time I said I am 98% sure of what I want as far as being an "unknown father" and a father with visitation, but I need more time to digest this.

I knew 100% that I will do anything for this child, but I wasn't going to cater to her unreasonable demands. Then I asked what she was doing and where she was going. "None of your business". I then broke it down more precisely, "Are you running off with another guy?" "No way, I need some time to get straight, I won't date someone while Im pregnant, and won't look for a relationship for at least a year". Then I asked what about health care? She said her step mom works as a county supervisor for dishing out welfare and state health benefits, and she will express approve her application which her step mom and already filled out and had approved before she even got off the plane. Fraud?

I asked if she was going back to PSI, and she said no, but its none of your business what I do. It was really ugly, and I was calm and devastated.

After she left, I called her father who was picking her up on the other side and told him I have every intention of being a happy family, and at the least be a great father, and that I had never done her wrong, and have actually paid for her entire life for the last 8 months, including the flight back and $500 spending money. I told him I am committed to being a great dad no matter what, and I just wanted him to know that. He said, "Good to know, thanks for calling, bye".

About 10 minutes later, my GF calls in rage. "If you ever call me or my family again you will never see this child". Then hung up before I could respond.

I gave her 3 days to get settled and sent her an email asking to just have at least email contact, and to share medical stats with me in regards to my child. No response.

I waited 3 more days, and sent another email saying how much I loved her, that I am glad we can take a break to get some space, and to please reply so I know she is ok. This time she responded: "Don't ever contact me or my family again, you will never see this baby, I am changing my number".

She blocked me on facebook, blocked my emails because the emails from my email account even in the "sent box" disappeared. However, she reactivated me to send me one more email, and they reappeared so I forwarded as many as I could to another email account so they wouldn't disappear if she blocked me again which she did.

So, 2 weeks later its Valentines day, I send her an email from another account saying that I love her and happy V day, short and sweet. No response. So, I wait and give her more space. Some of my friends who she didn't yet block on FB had forwarded me her status updates. One was "I am pregnant, living again in California, and I am now on a solo adventure". Some one asked what about the father, and she said, he has chosen to not be a part of this childs life. This was such a lie and call for sympathy. Quite the opposite of what any PSI member will say about "Taking personal responsibility", etc.

So, over the last few weeks, I talked to my family members and find out that I should do a test to find out if I have a gene that runs in the family, so I went and got the test, and sure enough I do. So, this time I texted her. I said, please open up communication in regards to the baby's health, I just took a test, I need to share these results with you so you can have the baby tested and prepare for it. She responded, I will not share anything with you. Tell me what to do before I change my number.

I had also told her she couldn't do the test for several more weeks, so I gave it a week to text her a summary. I said very short and sweet, this is the test, this is the gene, please do your research and get this test. Also, let me know if I can help with the costs of this pregnancy.

Her response. I will not do the test, I will have the baby regardless of what it comes out like. Do not contact me again, I have moved on with someone else, and he will be the father. We are having this baby regardless.

....

Holy crap!

...

So, I have seen a couple lawyers here, but they all say they won't be able to get jurisdiction for a custody case.

I have talked with some expert witnesses and ex members, but most of the california lawyers don't take me seriously when I talk about PSI's influence on her mind. Its not just the company, its the members too. I need to get my child away from this evil empire. Does anyone have any advice as to how to show she is unfit, and the child will be in an unsafe living conditions?

Any one dealt with custody issues with a Psi member?

Also, anyone in California that can testify of your experiences with children of Psi parents, or relationships that were destroyed from this cult? Please PM me, I would be willing to pay for your time.


Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Hi

I'm so sorry that I can't offer you anything but empathy. Your story mirrors so many others on this forum and I can imagine how devastating your situation is. It is incredibly difficult when few people even take your concerns with PSI seriously.

These courses so frequently result in divorce:

“Many of these groups have caused nervous breakdowns, broken marriages, and business failures, not to mention some well-documented suicides and deaths by reckless accidents.” (Hassan, 1988, p.40)

“The irony was that the est culture was filled with the victims of busted marriages, both among Erhard’s staff and among plenty of est graduates as well. Divorce was not an uncommon result of the training for many couples.” (Pressman, 1993, p.182)

The sad thing is that many victims of these courses do eventually see the light, but by that time the harm is done. I wish you the best of luck.

DL

+1

Sorry to hear about your situation.

Marriages & relationships breaking up over LGAT experience is definitely a common experience.

I remember some of the married members of the LGAT I was in going through difficult times with their spouses or significant others, because the spouse or significant other didn't want to sign up for the program or they didn't like how the LGAT was interfering with their household life. And being at the LGAT away from your day to day life, the LGAT set ups the prefect storm, for the participants to question the relationship they're in, "Is this person holding me back from fulfilling my goals?" Whatever that means... A lot of the LGATs activities put people in emotional spaces with one another, and given the tension with their spouses or significant others, this is breeding ground for emotional and possible physical cheating to occur.

Don't have much info or experience in getting custody in California.
Have you tried looking at the California courts website.
Here is a link to the California Courts website pertaining to custody issues.
[www.courts.ca.gov]
Hopeful you can get some leads in the right direction there.
Good Luck and Stay Strong!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/26/2014 05:41PM by SpookyM61.