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Re: quote, unquote "Real Love" - $$$
Posted by: DINGO ()
Date: November 07, 2018 02:58AM

BEWARE - Real Love (False Coaching leading to Mormonism)

Link brings up some very pertinent points about RealLove. Since it stopped in the UK about a year ago, it seems to have gone somewhat underground. RealLove Europe is run by Greg Baer’s favourite nude adult baby, whom he approves and fetes. But RL Europe is not widely publicised and appears to be more underground and virtually non-existent. Maybe that has stopped too, if not, then its actively maintaining a network of all the former RealLovers who were abandoned by Pete and Nikki Uglow last year when they gave up RL. All these adult babies obviously had nowhere to go anymore – no one to phone daily, no one to lay in the arms of and pretend to be a baby, no one to go to group with and tell truths to, no wise people to speak to – and so on. They were all left very suddenly out in the cold without their daddy. It seems a sort-of “RL 12-month Program” took place to de-program people from their total dependence on the UK RL daddies and mummies, groups etc. And RL Europe was a response to all this – and one can only assume is for those who were already daddified and mummified by RL and had been ‘taken’ by it all. Those who had not quite swallowed all the RL Kool-Aid were rejected, as were those that began to question the whole idea of just stopping it all at a point when there was so much reliance on RL for every decision in life and when so much money had been invested. (Link makes this very clear in their experience of RL).

If RL Europe is a little secret support group for those who could not let go and had swallowed all the Kool-Aid, then good luck to them. But Link makes some interesting observations that show us the RL is not completely dead, gone and buried from the UK. We can see that this is so by the fact of what the former daddies and mummies are now doing. Daddy Pete and Mummy Nikki (Uglow) decided to do a ….. surprise, surprise… coaching business. Whether this is fully operational who knows. It was to be focused on infidelity, marital cheating etc. And if anyone should know about this, it would be these two. Their ‘take’ would clearly and deceptively introduce elements of RealLove very cleverly into their work by using Greg Baer’s original book and that of victimhood and wise people. Daddy Ben (Leppier) has focused his attention on coaching the soon to be married and the newly marrieds by offering coaching on ‘how to be married’ before they marry, and then (after the honeymoon) to coach them on how to do married life for the first few months. Ben has clearly chosen to be led by the Greg Baer RL book on marriage, and probably a portion of the dating book too. Mummy Tara seems to be focusing coaching from the business perspective, so probably using Greg Baer’s RL in the workplace as her focus. Not sure what they are all doing, but clearly RealLove is not completely dead and buried – annoyingly and sadly. Pity the poor people who go to these coaches for genuine professional coaching and end up being sent to the US to sit on daddy Greg’s lap and lie prostrate like a baby on his lap and tell him “I Love you daddy”. Pity the people who think and believe that they will get bona fide coaching from these and the others when their focus is just on keeping the RL Cult alive and kicking by a different, less open and obvious means.

It would seem that despite RealLove being exposed as a destructive CULT group that one would continue to promote that they are connected. Maybe they are not using the RL techniques of mind control, but surely once you know you’ve been duped and were involved in a cult surely you’d remove your RL ‘credentials’? When folks blatantly leave in or promote their RL certification this leaves me in no doubt that their beliefs are still enshrined within the ideology. Thus I would say to anyone seeking coaching of any kind to – BEWARE. I know there are folks on this forum who have had rather negative experiences with medical professionals, but this does not mean that whole genres of care should be thrown out because of certain individuals who let you down. We are always far safer in the hands of trained therapists who are regularly scrutinised, their skills regularly updated, they are observed at work to ensure standards, they have membership of ethical organisations and their qualifications are not handed out from self-made ideologists who make up their own unrecognised psychological conditions without having had any authentic training or experience. One great thing that RealLove has inadvertently taught me is to be a lot more wary than I was – and I was wary!!! To check things out and certainly, to source information from forums such as this one, and those in the UK, who have massive amounts of information on the covert activities of these types of organisations. If I had done more checking instead of blindly trusting and believing then I would not have allowed myself to become as involved. I was nowhere near involved as most of the others, but so glad that I woke up and smelled the deception in time enough before I had sold my soul to the devil and become like many of the others still attached to RL and who are not their true self anymore. Lost souls, detached from reality but believing that RL has saved them. The real person still exists alongside the cult person that has been created by RL, but it keeps getting pushed aside.
As with Mormonism – which is Real Love’s primary aim (to mormonise everyone) – they have allowed their thinking to be done for them. There are many parallels between Mormonism and Real Love that cannot be ignored. Greg Baer based the whole program, the cult of RealLove, entirely on the Mormon ways. It’s on every page of every book and in every talk he ever gave – but without it being obvious to the entranced. Only Mormons promote the idea of there being three choices in life, particularly relationships. The two we all know of and make our choices by:

1. Love the situation or circumstances (or person) and remain in that state
2. Dislike the situation or circumstances (or person) and leave that state.

And the third Mormon option which is most favoured in almost every situation (including marital violence, child abuse, paedophilia, etc.) and promoted by mormon clergy. And that is:

3. Dislike or hate the situation or circumstances (or person) and remain in that state

The third situation stunts life and spiritual growth and causes much unhappiness at a deep soul level. There are many people who are now part of Mormonism and stuck in it as much as they are stuck in their belief of RL, and as much as they are unable to comprehend their life circumstances and do anything about it. And all because, like Link has said, they just wanted some simple life coaching to help with a simple easily rectifiable situation in their life. And now their lives are utterly destroyed – whether they know or recognise it, or are avoiding coming to that realisation. Many who don’t comprehend what they have done, don’t manage to get out like Link did, and instead remain stuck in the RL/Coaching/Mormon system while their families, children, relative and friends are at a complete loss to do anything to help them see the light. Like Link has intimated, there comes a point when no one wants to come near to you or talk to you, because all you do is spout RealLove tripe and Mormon rubbish without even realising what you are doing and saying – and everyone gets bored of it to the point of leaving you alone. Leaving you alone to wallow in what they think is your own choice, when in fact it’s been the mind-control and the fact that your true self has been forced to step aside (almost shut down and ceasing to be) while the cult-identity takes over. When no one wants to be near you anymore that is when you are left to the will of the RL and Mormon to finish off what they started.

As with Mormonism, RealLove does not want to give up because it believes it is the one and only true way – the saviour of us all blablabla. And this is one reason why the Mormon mummies and daddies (aka coaches) revert to find new ways of keeping the workings of RL going despite it closing down. So beware anyone who goes to receive coaching in:
Dating
Marriage
Family
Parenting
Workplace
Victimhood
Mental health issues
Because all these are areas that Greg Baer has written books on and founded his RL Cult group on. These areas being separated into individual streams of coaching by the now individual coaches operating on their own steam remain hell bent on basing their work on the principles of RealLove and Mormonism. They will cleverly use material from Greg’s books and ideologies, and before long will also bring up the idea that they will ‘need’ to go see Greg in the US and get held by him etc… Then they will be invited to join whatever ‘secret’ and ‘closed’ groups are going on (social media and literally) so that the whole mind-control process takes hold and they eventually become a Mormon and do whatever they are told to do, say etc. (Drinking the Kool-Aid in RealLove is the name of the game). If you are looking for coaching and find RealLove mentioned time and again then you’ll realise from this site to stay clear. From the thread on LGAT’s on this Forum I copy and paste some recommendations to look for when seeking genuine bona fide coaching. But BEWARE also, because Greg’s work and doings has inspired others to copy him and while they may be doing so on a much smaller scale, they are still using techniques and practices, ideologies and beliefs that are built upon dependence and upon doing psychological work way beyond their level of ability and knowledge. I recall seeing daddy Ben being so out of his depth on one particular occasion, that he had no idea what to say or do. Any Psychological work done in ignorance and in the wrong hands can do irreparable damage. My recommendation (from experience) is to keep trying different people and styles until you find what works for you and don’t settle for what does not feel right. But also bear in mind that in order to heal that someone has to dig out the pain and get in deep, and very often we fight this and make of the other as being in the wrong. Genuine health professionals will not push things if you don’t want it, they will only intervene if your life or those of others’ is in danger. They will never guilt-trip you and make you feel worse than what you are already, and they will never get you to destroy all you familial relationships unless they are dangerous to you or you to them – and if they do it is always stated as a temporary thing to all parties concerned. One of the things with RealLove is that everyone in has had to leave or divorce their partner, avoid family and children, have nothing to do with friends and workmates etc. and to only engage with RL people. The ideal is set with Greg and his perfectly loving family (puke) and of the Uglow’s and various coaches who all have wonderful perfect loving families to aspire towards. Seems the ONLY ones that did not have to distance all their family and loved ones are those at the top of RL and the coaches. You cannot rip peoples’ lives apart like this with the false idea that it’s all going to be wonderful and perfect just like it’s shown by Greg and his self-certified coaches. None of them went through the full process of RL and had to do what followers of RL have to do to be a follower. None of them. Do not believe the false ideals that are spouted to you. RealLove is most definitely NOT a coaching program by any stretch of the mind – if it was it would look a lot more like this….

Making Coaching a Professional Discipline Instead of Snake Oil
Corboy suggests that a healthy discipline
is based on principles rather than personalities. What are the results? Can the results be replicated by others and in different settings? Are the results better than average? Are the benefits greater than current modalities?

A healthy discipline outgrows its founders. A healthy discipline continues to make progress in the absence of charismatic personalities because its researchers use sound research protocol.

* Has a professional code of ethics

* Will not use material obtained by unethical means

* Will conduct its research according to ethical guidelines protecting human subjects and safeguarding confidentiality and informed consent (eg APA guidelines)

a) Has a standard of care -- and sets itself apart from shoddy practitioners
b) Is called elitist by shoddy practitioners

* Does not automatically stifle reports of malpractice on grounds that criticism will ruin the discipline. Open societies are capable of self critique.

* Full disclosure of source material and concepts

* Has a process for training, accreditation of training programs, and a procedure for examining and
licensing practitioners

** Requires training in scientific method and research design so that practitioners know the difference
between methods that are personality driven vs methods derived from testable hypotheses and which have
results better than average and have been replicated in a variety of settings by different researchers

* Welcomes legal accountability. Cannot legally practice professionally or supervise trainees unless
license is tied to state or national disciplinary board.

* Can agree on defining terms so that discipline has a shared professional vocabulary that can be used
in publications and presentations

* Can agree and use research design methods (creating testable hypotheses, taking precautions against
confirmation bias, knowing how to use and interpret statistics

* Uses methods and theories and findings from other disciplines (psychometrics, clinical psychology,
psychiatry, biological psychology, sociology, anthropology, game theory, etc)

* Scholars and practitioners from other disciplines participate in conference and co author articles s

* Different viewpoints

* Discussions of different viewpoints take place publicly - articles, books, conferences, journals

* There are persons and teams pursuing different approaches.

* Publishes a journal that is peer reviewed. More than one such journal is even better.
Is transparent in business practices, and affiliations, past and present.

Does not engage in practices such as multi-level marketing, and network entrepreneurship.

Is unaffiliated with political parties, religious groups, social identity groups

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BEWARE RealLove deceptively hidden in groups and meetups
Posted by: DINGO ()
Date: December 17, 2018 03:23AM

Some things to reflect upon if you are considering joining or participating in any of these RealLove Cult based groups masquerading as coaching, group therapy or a loving and safe place to share your life with others. Don’t be fooled, they may not be running an exclusive RealLove destructive cult group session with close attachment to destructive cult group founder Greg Baer – but they ARE doing everything RealLove© Trademark Registered but under the guise of a new name, that’s all! These people do not want it to seem like they are connected to Greg Baer’s RealLove as it is now widely known as a destructive cult group, as that would turn clients away. So instead, they have broken from Greg, but are doing his work exactly as it was before – with even more smoke and mirrors to hide the truth and sugar-coated glossy enticements to get people to willingly engage.

[www.getoveranaffair.com] groups with Pete and Nikki Uglow using RealLove© destructive cult ethos

[www] .themarriagepeople.co. uk groups by Ben Leppier using RealLove© destructive cult ethos

[www] .meetup.com/Marriage-Central-The-Agony-and-The-Ecstasy/ groups by Kathryn Barker using the RealLove© destructive cult ethos

All these groups are founded on founded upon the Alcoholics Anonymous based ‘encounter session technique’ which was pioneered by evangelist religious organisations. At AA, members’ attachment to the group and its ethos is cemented with ‘sharing sessions’ where members share their deepest and darkest stories and receive sympathy and acceptance in return. This is fundamentally to act as encouragement by like-minded individuals who are all trying to stop drinking and become teetotal. However, the religious aspect can often take over and the dependency on the group become a lifelong commitment – despite being free from the reason why attendance originally began. The Mormons run many AA groups and their sessions are completely founded on Mormon doctrine and intended to keep the person with the group for life (eventually to become a Mormon). What Greg Baer has done with his RealLove© destructive cult group is rename the Encounter Session Technique to ‘Truth Telling Groups’ or ‘Loving Groups’ as well as renaming the various aspects of the actual group process into ‘Truth’ (the bit where you tell your personal shit to everyone in the room/group), ‘Seen’ (the bit where those hearing what you have said and watching you tell it will not judge, mock or shame you), ‘Accepted’ (the bit where, because no one responded to you negatively or tried to analyse and help you come to terms with your awful behaviour etc. and just remained totally quiet, you feel accepted because no one argues with you, leaves the room, or will not be friends with you anymore), and ‘Loved’ (this is the bit where you supposedly feel the magic of RealLove© in that you can intentionally have vile and distorted, violent or other negative intentions towards others and it is all perfectly okay because those in the group love you, accept you, see you, and therefore this is what it feels like to be ‘loved’ for the first time in your life). Greg did not invent the Encounter or ‘sharing’ Session Technique but merely changed the intention of the group to heal and empower people to go on their way and get on with their life, but to entrap them forever under his control. These people running these groups will also tell you that there is no such thing as ‘Self Love’, despite all major religions and spiritual faiths; therapeutic ,healing and medical organisations the coaching and counselling sector and just about anyone else. None of these so-called coaches believe in the concept of self-love and believe it is impossible. What it does is highlight either the limitations of their own growth and development, the doctrine of RealLove©, the Mormon cult, and their lack of training and education in regards to the sector they have put themselves into. People who don’t know what self-love is or how to express it leading vulnerable people down a suspicious path.

I have had many (strangers) be in contact with me, and I have been in contact with people too, all who have been affected by this destructive cult called RealLove©. There is a pattern forming that is very hard to ignore. Firstly, people go to a group or get inadvertently coerced into going to one because the person they have started dating wants them to go with them and obviously reveal their membership of this destructive cult. On average it only takes about three sessions – that’s right, only three!! – to completely pull most people into its web of destruction. Most are also baptised into the Mormon cult religion at the three weeks or near too mark as well. Yes, previously totally non-religious people getting baptised and joining the Mormons. This is with absolutely no research and investigation as to what they are getting into. Ordinarily adult baptism for people who are normally known to be totally non-religious is a massive statement of someone’s commitment to that faith in the complete ‘understanding’ of what it means and is all about. Non-cult churches DO NOT baptise anyone who just suddenly turns up out of the blue and who has never had any faith before, or only attended one or two services! You have to fully know and understand what the commitment of baptism actually means. It is actually an insult to just walk in without any background in a faith and be baptised into it. But the Mormon church has this aggressive attitude that the whole world should be a Mormon because their so-called prophet (or con artist) is supposed to be the last messenger of god. This church spends millions upon millions of church members’ tithes towards geneology research for the names of deceased people to baptise in the name of Mormon, and baptising those people in an almost constant ceremony at HQ back in Utah. I could think of much better things to spend with all that money than baptising the dead. Anyway, the Mormons jump at the chance of bringing you into their fold and getting you baptised as soon as possible. Like I said, from all the people I have had contact with this is approximately three weeks on average. Yes, there are those who do already have a faith and are either slowly poached over to Mormonism (even Hindu’s have changed to Mormon!) or left alone to slowly embrace Mormonism and its doctrine via RealLove© destructive cult group attendance. These people think and truly believe that they are not going to be a Mormon as they don’t want to be, yet they fail to realise that they are living the life of a Mormon the more they are a member of this destructive cult group. It may take some years, an average of 5 has also come forward, where those defiant against being a Mormon, or who embrace a different faith, will eventually become one. They will be slowly and gently ground down until the deed is finally done, and these RealLove© coaches and groups will say that it was ‘only natural’, that it was ‘bound to happen eventually’ and is basically a natural progress as ‘RealLove© aligns perfectly with Mormonism’. Many people I have spoken to are too scared to share their stories on here for fear of being recognised, but these truths are indeed ‘real’ stories and did all happen as shared to me.

When you attend the groups (and much has been written already about the ins and outs of what happens during attendance to the first few groups, here on this forum), whether you are at a weak and vulnerable point in your life, or are totally happy as you are and with your life so far, RealLove © will change all that very quickly. These groups (as above) will set out to change your perspective in the same way they have done from the very start of this evil destructive cult group. You will be told things that are exclusive behaviours and practices of all known large and small cults, widely known and reported about as well as the unknown groups. Cult groups come in the form of Coaching, Therapy, Mental Health help, Marital help, Infidelity help, direct selling, group awareness training, loving groups, as well as political, religious and spiritual. They all prey on vulnerable people and those at a weak point in their life and needing help of some sort. They also prey on breaking that which is fixed and does not need help. There is no shame, you are all potential life-long customer’s no matter what your circumstances. They WILL break what is not broken. They will further injure those who are going to the groups for help. This is sick, vile and disgusting to do this to people by being a sham and a con, not really coaching, not really providing therapy and instead creating a lifelong dependence on the group, being brainwashed into the RealLove© destructive cult group ideology and indoctrination, and of coercing people to becoming a Mormon as a form of healing!!

People that have been in the RealLove© destructive cult group, and those who are loved ones and friends of those who got pulled in, have told me that their loved one went along to this seemingly benign group and came home completely changed and believing that no one loved them, or had ever loved them since they were born. This is correct, that is indeed what people are told. Genuine coaching and therapy does not tell people this at all, and neither do they work to totally convince their client/patient to believe a whole new mindset in only one, at most two, sessions! ONLY cults do this – and there is so many books written about it and information on the internet that it is astounding. But what the RealLove© destructive cult and its break-off groups want to do is to get you fully sucked in and believing 100% what they are saying in order that you DO NOT go out and do any sort of research and investigation whatsoever. In my time with this destructive cult and attending their so-called ‘loving groups’ many people would turn up to join the group – after all they are advertised on ‘meetups’ and therefore open to being found. You can see people’s faces as they cringe at the doctrine and ideology, and when they question stuff about it they are shut down with double-binds and distorted analogies and metaphors. Most males do not return, but most females do seem to turn up again. The main thing towards getting people to turn up again and continue to believe the bullshit is to befriend them and gain their utmost trust. This is often done by long-term members stating stories about how they were the same, felt like they did, were pessimistic at first, were sceptical etc. who then go on to tell them that as they kept attending the groups that it all becomes clear and starts to make sense and then they’ll feel the benefits. If ‘trust’ can be gained, then people will indeed return, and return and return. But please be assured that this type of trust is just a ruse to get you to come back – it’s called Proselytising – and it’s basically marketing and promoting the group in a way that sounds and feels better than what you gut instincts are telling you. But your gut instincts are put at bay if there is someone you identify with and who makes you feel at ease, who you can trust. This gives you the wherewithal to come back for more next week. You will strangely end up trusting this complete stranger and not trusting all the people in your life who know you well and love you. This is a known strategy of every destructive cult that ever was. It’s in every book about cults and is one of the most well used strategies for warming people up to let their guard down, shut off their instincts and trust complete strangers who do not have your best interests at heart – only theirs. (follow the money, the fame, the glory and the power as they say). So, trust your instincts folks because all those who’ve left many years later wished they had done so! By the way genuine coaching doesn’t need to coerce you to do it, neither does therapy. You choose to go to them for help, for a temporary period of time, and if you are unsure or don’t feel right about it you are merely given the leaflets and information and left to make your own decision. Coaches and therapists do not need to build your trust to come back, shut down your instincts or convince you of anything. They are offering a service and you are the empowered one to take it or leave it. They are also bound by professional ethics (and do not have coaching/therapy qualifications that have been gained from the back of a cereal packet – like Greg Baer’s coaching certificates – and not worth the paper they are printed on) not like all these people attached to the RealLove© destructive cult group. Some may indeed have been genuine coaches in their own right, but added this vile cult certification to their client offer. This is like a child social worker gaining a certificate in being a paedophile, once you have that paedophile certificate it sort of discounts the social worker training in an instant. Same with the RealLove© destructive cult certificate. I would not trust any coach that proudly displays their RealLove© certificate and holds groups founded on this indoctrination, because they will surely not be offering genuine coaching. Genuine coaches and therapists don’t need to use psychological techniques on your mind to get you to believe in them and go back – only destructive cults use mind-control techniques without peoples’ consent.

Another thing that quickly happens in that three weeks after joining the group and getting involved in the RealLove© destructive cult philosophy is that you will be told unashamedly that you have NEVER been loved your entire life and your parents didn’t love you. This is, once again, a very well -known and used strategy by destructive cults. If Greg Baer wanted RealLove© to be genuine coaching he could have done so, but instead he has embedded every destructive cult strategy known to man into his RealLove© thus defining it as a destructive cult and not bonafide coaching at all. The whole focus in these first weeks is to deconstruct your childhood and life by pulling up every negative experience, as well as turning every positive one into a negative one (genuine coaching and therapy does not do this). Your whole life becomes one long story of sadness, negativity and lack of love causing the distress needed for you to fully commit to the whole RealLove© destructive cult program – interventions, programs, calls, getting a daddy or mummy etc. This clearly the overriding reason for the Group Encounter/Sharing Sessions – by whatever name they are called. Period. In the book ‘Take Back Your Life’ by Lalich and Tobias there are stories shared of their experiences in their respective cults which did the exact same thing back in the 60’s and 70’s, that is, deconstructing the childhood to make it all bad and unhappy and ONLY being in the destructive cult group was where true and genuine love (or unconditional love) was to be found – the rest of the world was to be pushed away as it was unkind, uncaring and unloving and too negative. Reading this book it sounded like the story of what I went through, and indeed many others as well as what family members have shared about their now ‘lost’ loved ones. Yet this happened fifty years ago! The correlations to this story (and others in this and other books) is alarmingly the exact same story of what happens to people when they go to RealLove© destructive cult group meetups. It’s exactly the same. Why did Greg Baer create the workings of his RealLove© the way that he has if he, and his appointeds say it’s not a cult? No one creates a coaching or therapy program that matches in every way possible a destructive cult – unless of course that is the intention, the create a cult but make it not look like one. With psychological techniques well known and easily studied nowadays it’s easy to see how anyone can start a destructive cult group under the disguise of benign groups, while being promoted as coaching or therapy, but using a whole array of techniques and strategies to control the mind into falling hook, line and sinker into the web of deceit - without knowing or believing that they are in a destructive cult! All while taking a chance that they won’t wake up too soon before they’ve been taken to the cleaners, their lives destroyed and they’ve become addicted and dependant on the destructive cult and its feeder groups. Genuine coaching/therapy seeks to focus on the positive and only explore in small chunks the negative aspects to a point where sense can be made and the person can move on. This is NOT what RealLove© destructive cult groups and meetups do at all.

You will also be psychologically ‘deconstructed’ and rebuilt by them. Coaches (daddies and mummies) truly believe they are doing you a favour by doing this to you, they really do! However, it is another totally well-known and well-used destructive cult strategy to dismantle your true identity and create a new ‘cult’ identity that is ever and indefatigably faithful to the cult in every possible way. For a while both personalities exist side-by-side and at this time there is a great deal of inner conflict going on in the person. This is all told to you as being that your ego is fighting and won’t let go, and that it is normal and to ignore it. It’s actually your true self and your gut-instinct fighting to get through to your conscious mind, and trying to tell you that what is being done is not right! But the RealLove© destructive cult coaches in all their manifestations will tell you otherwise. They all ‘know’ it’s the subconscious trying to warn you, and so they will work hard at trying NOT to let it get through to you. I have seen people disappear, literally, in front of my eyes as their true self is completely overtaken by the cult identity. It is so heart-breaking, and it truly is an evil thing to do to other people for your own interests. It’s NOT loving by any stretch of the imagination, but this is what destructive cult groups do and is not what genuine coaching and therapy would ever do (and just to note that psychiatry is a different matter and is for extreme mental health cases). The goal is to get you to ‘become’ RealLove© in every way, in the false idea that you are an unconditionally loving person. None of us NEED RealLove©destructive cult (or any other cult) to ‘make’ us unconditionally loving. They have a grossly distorted view of what that is. It’s not a loving act to deconstruct a person’s identity and make them into someone else, a cult identity. This is so wrong on every level possible. It’s not healthy and it’s definitely not needed whatsoever.

To fully drink the kool-aid, aka join up and be a part of the RealLove©destructive cult group and its many offshoots (as above) there are a few other things that you have to do, and you’ll be enthusiastically helped to do so. Because those not choosing to do or be a part of the RealLove© destructive cult group or its offshoots they are classed as being negative people who will only splash you with their bad vibes as well as being incessant victims, living in pain and distress, insane etc. and so they are not healthy to be around as they will affect you. What this means in real terms is that you might be convinced to see the light and the truth and leave the group, so everything must be done to separate you from those you know and love who will not join, or refuse to join the group. Thus is then created the division of ‘Them and Us’ whereby the only people you can be around and have in your life are those in or doing the RealLove© destructive cult groups. This involves ejecting all the people you know and love completely out of your life. You will have lots of help with this too. You will be given the words to say, the actions to do and be supported as you break people’s hearts and your own along the way. But the RealLove© destructive cult groups and coaches will all be telling you it is for your own good, as the RealLove© does not work unless you fully submit to it and do what needs to be done. This is mainly due to Greg Baer’s wild broad sweeping statements that only he possesses true unconditional love which has been given to him by god and that no one on the planet knows how to love properly except him and the so-called coaches that he has trained. So, in order to feel unconditional love you have to get rid of all the people that love you, that you love and everyone else too because the RealLove© destructive cult group processes will not work otherwise. So goodbye to your partner or spouse (almost everyone has to divorce and separate unless the partner/spouse joins as well and even then you are still told to separate and divorce), goodbye also to your parents, to your children, to your extended family, to your lifelong friends, to your coworkers and any other person from any other aspect of your life. ALL have to GO!! The RealLove© destructive cult groups cannot work at training you to be unconditionally loving if you have people that love you in your life because Greg Baer (here we go again, another unsubstantiated broad sweeping claim) says that everyone NOT doing his RealLove© destructive cult group work is only giving their love to you conditionally and only wants something from you. This means that you must toughen up and learn to reject ANY love given to you from any source and only accept the love that people in the RealLove© destructive groups and their offshoots give you. This breaking of ties with everyone in your life is once again a very well-known and well-used cult strategy to get people to be obedient and subservient to them, to be faithful and dependant as well as addicted to the cult. If Baer wanted this to be a genuine coaching program he’d not have used such a strategy would he!?

Many of the people who have contacted me, and who I have been in touch with have said this whole process was painfully hard to go through, but they were pushed and helped through it. There were moments where the subconscious and gut instincts were so strong that they almost pulled away from it, but the coaches are so well trained by Greg that they will not allow you to pull away, they will not allow your instincts to pull you back to your senses. This is one main and big reason why all the people in a member’s life are to be ejected, in order to make it far easier to control members and get them through the process of letting go of who they truly are, and becoming the cult identity. Every single strategy and process in RealLove© is a destructive cult strategy and when people see through it they obviously want to leave. However, if you falter you are subjected to other well-known and well-used cult techniques to punish you for your confusion. Constant blaming and being called a victim, told you are being ungrateful for all the love you have received, that you are not taking RealLove© seriously enough for it to work, that you don’t care about yourself etc. All mind numbing things to get you to keep trekking forward into total indoctrination. Once again, I can only state that this sort of thing does not happen in genuine coaching or therapy. This is not talk that is remotely empowering or inspiring for a person; its bullying and shaming – which are things that the RealLove© destructive cult groups and its offshoots declare are negative getting and protecting behaviours. Clearly these are behaviours that they themselves can use to get you totally absorbed into the cult, but which are not acceptable when people are going through a traumatic time and may indeed exhibit negative behaviours. Despite the fact that we all have to experience, learn about and understand every human feeling and behaviour from both sides as a part of our life journey. Why would a life coach or a therapist want anyone to do such behaviours and why would they be critical. In this sense, it sbecause they are not genuine life coaches or therapists with your best intentions at heart – it’s all about the money, the fame, the glory, getting new babies for Greg, the power and indeed more converts to Mormonism as possible. Not coaching. Not therapy. Not healthy.

Another clever device that is inspired by well-known destructive cults is that Greg Baer has taken an ordinary concept and distorted it for his cults benefit. In traditional therapy and coaching people may have been given a strategy to avoid highly charged and aggressive arguments with others, and particularly where things might get very heated, loud, physical or violent. It’s a technique called ‘no one wins a battle or a war’ and what it seeks to do is to get people to stop themselves from getting angry and aggressive and fighting back to the point where it becomes a violent episode rather than a disagreement, discussion, or critical argument. What Baer has done is distort and bastardise yet another good thing, to meet his sinister needs as a cult leader. He knows, and so do all the coaches of both the RealLove© destructive cult group and its offshoots, that close friends and family will indeed want to talk to their loved one about the destructive cult group they’ve gotten into from their ‘objective’ vantage point and try to help them to see the light and truth of it all. He has called any form of argument, disagreement and assertive criticism of his cult as going onto ‘The Field of Death’ and once people learn how to identify that they are on the so-called field of death they are instructed, and learn to get stronger and better at it as time goes along, to walk away, stop talking and even just get in their car and take a drive to get away from the so-called negative person who is in pain and insane. Once a person learns to master walking away like this you cannot have a decent conversation with them anymore as they have been mind-controlled to fully believe that people not in the RealLove© destructive cult group and its offshoots are going to attack them and pull them down and make them angry, empty and afraid. It truly is a clever tactic to get people to shut down from any form of critical debate on the group – but as the cult identity gets stronger it becomes easier for them to walk away. I have seen this happen with my own eyes. No one was going to shout, no one was going to throw plates or be angry – all they wanted to do was share some truth, which is something which supposedly underpins the whole ideology of the group. But clearly NOT the truth that reveals the cult for what it is, the truth for what it is – no, not that truth as that would do no good for continued membership would it. So a simple technique to help people not to be so argumentative or antagonistic gets distorted to completely block out any form of enlightenment whatsoever. That’s not what therapists or coaches teach. But then Greg has memes and videos of him promoting that assertiveness is not acceptable and should be shunned at all costs (thus, the creation of the ‘field of death’ concept, and of any and all outsiders as having to be avoided as they will ‘splash’ the poor group member with their hatefulness and negativity).

So, if you know of anyone, partner or friend or loved one that attends a group such as one of those mentioned above you will find that the longer they go to the group that they will push away any form of kindness, compassion and love that you (or others) might offer; you’ll be finding that they will start pushing you away and rejecting what you offer and save up their pain, anger, frustration, problems etc. for their weekly group session only. This is addiction and not healthy empowerment and healing by any stretch of the imagination. While a part of the RealLove© destructive cult group myself I saw with my own eyes the holding in of all sorts of issues, problems, fears, anger, joy etc. along with the pushing away of everyone around them who was willing to help them through whatever it was for the whole time between group sessions as they could only accept whatever was given them in the group setting and not from anyone else. Thus promoting the them-and-us division that cults do so well. Of course, after laying in someone’s spread-eagled legs like a baby and being kissed and stroked like a baby they would inevitably get the spontaneous and uncontrolled release of oxytocin, endorphins and dopamine from very close physical contact like this – along with the long-term mind-control that has set them up to feel a lot more from this act than is acceptable. Of course they are going to feel great after such a rush – anyone would. But they can still get that rush from anyone else not in the group too! However, they’ve been brainwashed to believe otherwise. As a partner or loved one you will feel enormously powerless at being able to get through and will only be able to look on as they reject you and become addicted and dependant on their precious group.

If only people would follow their gut instinct and do an internet search and most definitely READ some books on cults. It is only this way that people will truly get to know whether or not this is what they have got themselves involved with by joining a seemingly benign group. But then who am I to speak, because I didn’t check. I just fell prey to trusting someone who was long-term involved and believing every single word they said. It wasn’t until leaving that I discovered this forum, and was prompted to buy some books and find out if my instincts were right, or the trusted friends. Seems I was right, because of the four books I chose to read each of them confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt that the RealLove© destructive cult group and its offshoots really are a destructive cult. Practically every single page of every book (and they are all 500+pages each) has underlining and highlighting along with words in the margins confirming that ‘this is what RealLove© does’. I could not deny it any more, my suspicions were 100% spot on, and I had the evidence to prove it. The sad thing is that the one’s I care about who are still in the cult, don’t believe me and think I am insane, in pain and desperately trying to be loved. All I can say is “whatever” because as I know, I am not going to be given the opportunity to show them that evidence or convince them at all – they are far too brainwashed, and the cult identity has completely taken over the real identity now. This makes me feel so very sad at times, and I know that it does to all those people who have lost their husband, wife, son, daughter, lover, friend etc. that I have been in contact with. We all feel so very sad indeed and so very powerless too. All anyone can do is to step away and leave them to it, let them go. At some time in the future, and this may be many years from now, they will wake up – something will wake them, their subconscious will get through – and all of a sudden they will feel the strong need to get out as quickly as they can. And all anyone can do is to just ‘be there’ for them, without criticism or blame – because they are going to need all that love you’ve bottled up for them over all those lost years to help them get over the experience. But just bear in mind that the tactics used to draw people in are cleverly devised to stop people from doing an internet search or reading books. If people did that, then they wouldn’t come back to the next group and be a lifelong adherent to the RealLove© destructive cult group or one of its offshoots. It is all designed to be this way.

Be prepared for the day when they do wake up. This means researching about cults, reading books and being up to speed with what’s going on – despite not being able to have contact with them or indeed being powerless to get them to wake up and get out. You have to save up your love and learn all you can, and all about how to help them when they do leave. There is much information on this site, on the internet and in the books. Because what you are going to find is someone who will wake up, like from a dream, only to find that instead of the passing of one night that it’s been several years that have gone by. They will be completely bewildered by this, it will be like a switch came on and they come out of a coma or something. The devastating thing they will have to contend with is the fact that there is no one left in their life to go back to – they only have cult people in their life. They want to connect with everyone (who they can only picture and remember as they were all those years ago), but they pushed them all away years ago. They burnt bridges to all relationships and parts of their life and so nothing exists for them to go to – yet they know they must get out of the cult. They will realise they have spent a fortune and done things that they now wake up to realising they should not have done – divorce partner or marry someone chosen for them, abandoned their children, rejected family etc. They will be distraught to have missed funerals, weddings, graduations, engagements, births, illnesses and all the other things that have happened during that time. So much to catch up on, and good-byes that can never happen now. They will find that their life has been held in some form of stasis and that the world has flown by while they were stuck in a freeze frame. And the worse thing of all is that they will realise, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they have not grown at all during all this time, not learned much and have actually been stuck in a rut all along. They will know for sure that RealLove© did not offer the magical life and experience that it promised and that it was not coaching. In confusion they’ll not want to admit it was a cult – no one likes to feel remotely associated with something like the ‘C’word. But as they explore what happened to them and start to do the research that they should of at the beginning it won’t take long for them to realise RealLove© was a destructive cult and not therapeutic coaching. And just because the great cult leader has written and published books (not all his doctrine in plain sight, but almost), and does not have a compound like Jonestown does not mean its not a cult. And just because Greg cried on a video and said that RealLove(c) was not a cult, does not mean that he was telling the truth. Don't believe him as the proof is in the pudding. If you choose to leave long-term coaching, therapy or a religion you will have your family, friends and everything in your life intact - when you leave RealLove(c) it's a completely different story. Many people state that the difference between a cult and religion/therapy/coaching is what happens to you and what your life looks like when you leave it. I hope this post has given you some food for thought - and so too the many others on this forum of first-hand experiences of what happens in this creepy cult and its offshoot groups, as well as what happens when you finally wake up and decide to leave.


And Greg, Donna, Pete, Ben, Nikki, Kimbo-darlin’, Tara, Kathryn, Roman and other RealLove©folks who are laughing at this point in time while reading this, laugh as you may people, YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE THIS TO PEOPLE and should be ashamed of yourselves.

So, please consider what link and wiseowl are saying and steer clear from these groups, do your research. But most of all please don’t be fooled by the sickly sugary gloss that is put out there as therapy as it is truly all smoke and mirrors to one of the most deceptive and destructive cults in history. Everything here shared is actual truth from several people (myself included) and truly is what DOES happen if you get involved with the RealLove© destructive cult and its offs

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How to create a totalitarian group
Posted by: corboy ()
Date: December 17, 2018 10:03AM

Here is a recipe for how to create a totalitarian relationship or group.

Contributed from another discussion on CEI message board.

Quote

Gaslighting is often misunderstood, but plenty of literature on it:

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/here-there-and-everywhere/201701/11-warning-signs-gaslighting%3famp

"How do you know if you're being gaslighted?

How do you know if you are being gaslighted? If any of the following warning signs ring true, you may be dancing the Gaslight Tango. Take care of yourself by taking another look at your relationship, talking to a trusted friend; and, begin to think about changing the dynamic of your relationship . Here are the signs:

1. You are constantly second-guessing yourself

2. You ask yourself, "Am I too sensitive?" a dozen times a day.

3. You often feel confused and even crazy at work. (Corboy or after sessions with an abusive therapist or spiritual coach)

4. You're always apologizing.

5. You can't understand why, with so many apparently good things in your life, you aren't happier.

6. You frequently make excuses for your partner's behavior to friends and family.

7. You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you don't have to explain or make excuses.

8. You know something is terribly wrong, but you can never quite express what it is, even to yourself.

9. You start lying to avoid the put downs and reality twists.

10. You have trouble making simple decisions.

11. You have the sense that you used to be a very different person - more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed.

(Corboy note: You used to be interested in lots more things, you used to DO things, try things out. Or you know you once had more energy, had more fun, were more venturesome, in the past you didnt have trouble leaving the house, did not have trouble going out at night to enjoy a movie or event, you used to dress up, used to be more active and athletic and now no longer are that way.

12. You feel hopeless and joyless.

13. You feel as though you can't do anything right.

14. You wonder if you are a "good enough" girlfriend/ wife/employee/ friend; daughter.

15. You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you don't have to explain or make excuses"



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/17/2018 10:11AM by corboy.

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Charles Dietrich of Synanon used forced sharing hot seat
Posted by: corboy ()
Date: December 17, 2018 10:16AM

DINGO wrote above:

Quote

All these groups are founded on founded upon the Alcoholics Anonymous based ‘encounter session technique’ which was pioneered by evangelist religious organisations. At AA, members’ attachment to the group and its ethos is cemented with ‘sharing sessions’ where members share their deepest and darkest stories and receive sympathy and acceptance in return. This is fundamentally to act as encouragement by like-minded individuals who are all trying to stop drinking and become teetotal. However, the religious aspect can often take over and the dependency on the group become a lifelong commitment – despite being free from the reason why attendance originally began. The Mormons run many AA groups and their sessions are completely founded on Mormon doctrine and intended to keep the person with the group for life (eventually to become a Mormon).

Sharing is NEVER coerced in an AA group, the hot seat method is never used.

Those techniques were utilized in Synanon, a cultic group led by Charles Dietrich.

[www.google.com]

An AA meeting must never be used as a front to proselytize convert people to a specific belief system such as Mormonism.

Never, never never.

If you learn that anything billed as an AA meeting is doing this, contact the AA district office in your area and give a specific description of what you witnessed. Give them information about this discussion on the CEI message board.


The way to tell if an AA meeting is genuine is to learn about the 12 Traditions.

For more on the Twelve Traditions, go here:

[www.google.com]

One of the traditions of AA is 'principles before personalities'

From the beginning, AA took care to avoid any one person controlling the organization.

Another tradition is complete financial transparency, and no accumulation of funds beyond a prudent reserve. Accounts are open book at all levels of AA from individual meetings, to districts, and up to the central office.

Members can choose their sponsors, discard their sponsors. One can be an atheist an agnostic, any belief or non belief one settles on.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/17/2018 10:20AM by corboy.

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Re: BEWARE RealLove deceptively hidden in groups and meetups
Posted by: Missice ()
Date: September 12, 2020 11:09AM

Luckily for me I was poor, so Rl did not have any interest in me. They copy lots of brainwashing methods.

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Re: BEWARE RealLove deceptively hidden in groups and meetups
Posted by: Cult_Free ()
Date: October 13, 2020 06:07PM

Hello Missice,

You are so very, very correct about RL. They do indeed copy and apply many of the typical brainwashing methods - all disguised as 'coaching' and 'counselling' but not remotely as either should ever be delivered in an ethical situation. You are also very lucky to have been poor, because they do indeed make a beeline for anyone who has money or earns a significant regular income and can afford their various programs, courses, interventions, resources, and everything else they peddle - all of which merely repeats the same limited diatribe over and over.

If you haven't already found them yourself there are two other significant RL threads on this forum which you might find interesting. On 'Cults,Sects and New Religious Movements' there is a thread called 'REAL LOVE'. On 'Coercive Persuasion and Undue Influence' there is a thread called 'soulmate solutions ltd - Coventry England (previously named Real Love UK) run by Pete and Nikki Uglow'.

The fact that RL did not have any interest in you will may have been the best thing that could have happened to you. Others have not been so lucky, as you'll see by the personal accounts in these two threads.

Take care

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