this site is a great resource, I wish I would have found 5 days ago. I juuuuust finished my 3 days yesterday...then woke up every hour sunday night. When I did have to go to work I felt disconnected and frazzled. The best way to describe it was I felt "burdened" by all of it. I was even prepared for the "life is empty and meaningless" but when they said it I just felt nothing, then uncomfortable and then angry. I acutely remember how the jargon and the creepy smiles were pissing me off. I remember distinctly thinking "if I hear someone say empowered one more time I'm gonna shove it up their ass". This morning I was getting worse until i talked to a friend who had done it before, and had told me I didn't have to do it. you see I have two awesome friends who hadn't been ever in the forum but wanted to buy me a present so they paid for my forum. I love them and their generosity and i feel powerful (effing jargon!) that I was able to go threw manipulation (I've never been tortured so I don't know where Landmark would fall on a scale of 1 to 10 in manipulation....a 3?) and come out with my reasoning still intact. I'm still down with life is empty and meaningless, but if I chose to step back into the Matrix and live my ordinary life with my fobbles and flaws, well then god damn it isn't there glory in that. Meaningless glory, true....but my meaningless glory all the same.

please feel free to contact me if you have any questions or want to "share" to get it off your chest.

I am curious and concerned for your well being. How are you feeling now? Maybe this can help you. Life is NOT empty and meaningless. Life is what you choose to make it, foibles, flaws frusterations and everything. I had to fight for my sanity after being involved with Landmark. Please understand, you were abused and taken advantage of. If you are having any lingering symptoms from your abuse please seek professional help. This technology is very dangerous and scary. Don't let it plunge you into situational depression or psychosis. Let us know how you are doing. PLEASE.
Blu