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Re: Psychology of Vision - Chuck and Lency Spezzano
Posted by: liminal ()
Date: February 23, 2019 12:29AM

Chuck Spezzano has several books out, including "What Men Don't Know About Sex-- That Women Could Teach Them".

This book is horrible. It includes an incredibly offensive rape "joke" that includes the death of the woman victim who was assaulted while in a coma.

According to the Spezzanos, independence is bad. We are supposed to be interdependent and do as they say. Criticisms of Chuck's vile jokes are said to be a sign of being "over judgemental".

I'd heard from survivors that Chuck regularly does his raunchy joke act as a way to control his followers. His act includes the claim that everything he says and does is okay because he has Italian heritage. Somehow that is supposed to excuse his crude sexualization of most everything.

But paging through this book, and especially coming across that "joke", really brought this all home to me.

Many other leaders of destructive groups and large group awareness trainings use this technique of veering off into vileness. Crude, rude, abusive statements designed I guess to draw followers closer? To keep them manipulated and less likely to leave?

Many gurus claim that they are using some form of "crazy wisdom" and that critics just aren't enlightened enough to understand.

Chuck and Lency have been doing this abusive b.s. for decades.

Another review of the book [psychologyofvision.blogspot.com]

I wonder what stories will eventually come out about the Spezzanos. Chuck seems to be describing over and over again a possible past of being abusive to women.

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Re: Psychology of Vision - Chuck and Lency Spezzano
Posted by: corboy ()
Date: February 23, 2019 08:43AM

Yeah, verbal boundary tweaking. Shock talk.

A so called guru and crazy wisdom teacher named Lee Lozowick did this. I saw him speaking and behaving normally prior to his scheduled lecture.

As soon as LL began his lecture, he did rapid fire insults, jokes, generalizations, quick changes of topic and dirty talk. Classic confusion tactic. And an act. Only two people left the room..a woman who had confidence, and a much younger Corboy. I would have stayed had it not been for this one person who had dignity...and smart feet.

Icky people often use this shock talk as a way to test people. And am sorry to report that talent deficient people use shock and dare call themselves comedians.

Note: Tom Lehrer, Mel Brooks. Carl Reiner, Bob Newhart and George Carlin never used trash talk.

People who are offended, who leave...those people are the ones a teaser wants to be rid of.

That leaves people who do not protest, people who are afraid to be called prudish or judgmental.

Those are people who are easily controlled.

And if we remain for a long time with these prurient trash talkers, we get numb, we tune out our own misgivings, lose touch with our own boundaries

Then the teaser pushes the limits even more.

So, friends, stop feeling afraid when a bully calls you prudish or judgmental.

Heh, prudish and judgemental is quality control. Means our BS detectors work.

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Re: Psychology of Vision - Chuck and Lency Spezzano
Posted by: liminal ()
Date: February 25, 2019 10:07AM

You are so right Corboy.

The Spezzanos do the trash talk every which way they can. While encouraging followers to call them "Uncle" and "Mom".

Anyone who complains is told they are "overly judgemental" and that they have parent issues that they need to heal by taking more classes.

One of Chuck's claims is that he can teach men to think differently in order to change the size of their own wive's breasts.

The Spezzanos act as Ugly Americans. Example from Lency:

Quote

My husband and I are currently working with a group of 90 people in Guangzhou China. Most of them are beginners to my work, so it will be interesting to see how far I can get with them. They are keen to get enlightened, but their level of maturity is low
.

[psychologyofvision.blogspot.com]

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"Queasy Teasing" -- one incident is one too many -run.
Posted by: corboy ()
Date: February 25, 2019 09:39PM

I spent too many years with a corrupt therapist who exploited this technique.

Am sorry to say I fell for it.

Sexualized teasing, trash talk, shock talk, insults cloaked in humor --

In my opinion if anyone does this even ONCE, I would advice dropping this person at once.

If you've become emotionally involved, please, regard one incident of trash talk or shock talk, or insult humor as game changing and a signal to GET OUT.

For a manipulator will wait until you're emotionally involved before doing this.


If after just one incident, we stick around, this signals we are willing to permit a boundary insult. Then the person will do it again, and again, and we
risk losing contact with our boundaries, we go numb, we lose our self respect.

Thus begins the Highway to Hell.

If the person is young, he or she needs a firm lesson that this is wrong. No need to be cruel in response, just say, I dont like this, and dump them.

If they beg you to let them make amends, tell them, dont do this to the next person you go out with. Then leave.

Ive lived a long enough time and been through enough of this to know that abusive people often test us by utlizing sudden, out of context shock talk, or what
we can call queasy teasing.

Recently, I permitted this again. Was at a comedy club after an expensive dinner
my cousin paid for. All the comedians used trash talk and one comedian singled our table out for her trash talk. She also singled me out and my cousin.

Knowing what I know now, I should have walked out.

If everyone walked out on trash talk comedy acts, we'd force
comedians to show genuine talent or find some other occupation.

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