I need some help and advice...

My significant other just attended the PSI Basic. She was turned on to the seminar by a friend who seemed to be getting a lot out of the programs and turning her life around. I was very supportive of her going, sending her off with snacks and well wishes.

When she got back from the weekend I got concerned. She said her weekend was "fantastic" and, being excited for her, I asked "How can I support you in this?" She said that if I wanted to support her I would attend the Seminar. When I hesitated, she bust into tears and said "I want you to know that you are making a choice not to support me."

So this sent up a big red flag. When I pressed for details about the weekend, all she said was that she went on a serious emotional roller coaster and got to see herself for who she truly was. She said it was the best weekend of her life - that it changed her life- but refused to tell me anything else about it. She said that "She did not want to spoil the experience" if I chose to go to the seminar to support her.

We have been in a GREAT relationship for over 4 years and this is the first time that we have had a serious communication breakdown. We have had serious stresses and always talked our way through them. When I try to talk to her, she says that I am tearing her down and that since I have not done the seminar - "I wouldn't understand"

After doing some research on the internet, I am VERY worried about what is happening to the love of my life.

I did go to the graduation - to try and be supportive - I was not surprised by the peer pressure. I have been through similar pitches from Amway and Time share condos.

What did surprise me was the way she was nodding her head and almost leaping out of her seat to agree with the presenter. When she got on stage to be acknowledged she had a look I can only call "rapture"

I didn't even recognize her.

She took a cash advance from her credit card to pay the $3000 for the advanced PSI 7.

Last night was not good. I tied to tell her my fears, but I think that it seemed to activate triggers in her and she would say things like "YOu need to look at yourself and why you are reacting this way" and saying that I wanted to keep her in despair. I never saw her or us in a place of dispair before.

I want to support her, but something does not sit right with me about this whole thing. I hardly slept last night and I am worried sick today.


How do I communicate my concerns and still be "supportive"?

How can I talk to her with out pushing her away?


What should I do?

Frayed, sorry to tell you this but be prepared to lose her. I lost my wife to this four years ago. Same situation that you're dealing with now I went through a few years ago.

Frayed, if you're not yet married, dont marry just yet. You will become responsible for any debts she incurs by maxing out her card.

If you *already* share any bank or credit accounts, make sure it isnt cleaned out --or maxed out---when your back is turned.

If any charges have been made that you dont approve of, there may still be time to phone to credit company if the card is a jointly held account and you may be able to contest a PSI related charge.

This is just a guess on my part. You need to talk to someone immediately.

And the way things are going now with the economy, being partnered with someone who is maxing out a jointly held account -- that is scary.

If you are already married or living together, I advise talking to your banker to get advice on how to protect your own credit rating.

I am sorry if this sounds cold, and you must be in agony.

But you can do what is within your own control by taking steps to limit your becoming a collateral financial victim of this group.

Your emotions will be battered. You may not be able to control that part.

But you can protect your finances. And you may need extra health care and counseling to get through this, so that means protecting your money.

This isnt being cold and cruel.

Its the PSI group that is cold and cruel.

You are not being cold and cruel by taking protective steps to prevent your becoming a collateral financial casualty.

Today is Saturday and in the US the banks are open until 2 pm, whatever your time zone is. Go in and talk to a banker--you may have better luck if you go to one of the larger branches. If you share a credit card, you can phone them and see about putting a stop on it.

If she later crashes financially, think long and hard about bailing her out.

You have no idea whether she will still be involved with PSI and getting coaching on how to hit on you or friends to get more money.

Its like someone suddenly getting addicted to speed or cocaine.

I know this is awful, but do NOT endanger your own rent, health coverage
or job over this, and dont endanger your credit rating or take on any additional debt at this time.

You have no idea how long it will take for the economy to settle down, and right now, most of us are having a much harder time borrowing money to pay off existing debts. So dont incur any additional debts to rescue her, no matter how much you love her.

If you bail her out, it will signal to PSI that she's still a source of cash for them.

Cash is king today and they wont let her go until its clear she cant bring them any more money--or any more recruits.

Which means, dont give her money and dont do PSI yourself, no matter how desperate you are to keep her, or get her to stop crying.

For all you know, she may be coached to cry and throw fits to try to work your nerves.

PSI gets the cash and the other people pay off the debts. Sweet.



Edited 8 time(s). Last edit at 10/25/2008 10:54PM by corboy.

Thanks for the advice...

We talked a lot over the weekend about my feeelings on PSI and I think she heard me... She is having real doubts and buyers remorse about the money for PSI 7 -
I told her I was 100% supportive of her PERSONAL goals - but I am not on board with PSI. So now I am taking the advice on other parts of the forum and backing off a little... letting her make decisions for herself and not playing into any negitive triggers.

But I am going to keep a very close eye on things (money- behavior-etc..) for quite a while.

I will keep this updated- I have found a lot of good information on this site and hope this will add to it.

Wish me luck.

Dear Frayed, keep an eye on the money for a long time. PSI may find ways to pursue her.

One thing that is awful about having dumped $3000 on something is you feel desperate to justify to yourself
that this was worth it, because otherwise, you're in the ghastly position of feeling betrayed, fiscally raped, etc.

The psychologists call this cognitive dissonance.

Love her, do NOT under any circumstances, say 'I warned you' or 'I told you so.'

Its like the grooming that pedophiles do. They go after kids who feel insecure, lure them into things that seem like
fun and con the child into thinking that the parents are oppressive and not any fun.

Then when the child is alone with the pedophile, the pedo does thing to the child to make the child feel ashamed and afraid to confide in his or her family. A sort of you cant go home again.

Show her a love that is different from the way she was used by PSI.

But still, keep an eye on the money. Make it clear you're not down on her, you are down on the people who abused her trust in such a nefarious way.

there is the possibility that she will end up in this group and u dont need to worry that u are pushing her there.
this is how brainwashing works. whatever u do dont take the course. that is what she had been programmed
to do. take the course .take the course. take the course. u are going to find that over and over.

stand your ground and be prepared to lose her for a while.

its not your fault. get that out of your head. its the cults fault.

Just curious, do you folks really feel that a 4 day class is so powerful that someone of average strength and intellect couldn't make it out with out being "brainwashed"?

It seems like another strategy could be to go through the class so you'd know what she experienced and take it from there. They offer a money back guarantee right?

I truly hope that things work out for you both.

Quote
AntiSuccess
Just curious, do you folks really feel that a 4 day class is so powerful that someone of average strength and intellect couldn't make it out with out being "brainwashed"?

It seems like another strategy could be to go through the class so you'd know what she experienced and take it from there. They offer a money back guarantee right?

I truly hope that things work out for you both.

Yes I ‘really feel’ and believe that it does. I saw it for myself. I LIVED it. I saw this destroy my wife and my marriage. I saw the true love of my life destroy herself with this claiming she left to find her number 10 relationship (with herself.) A few weeks after she left I confronted her about the money she spent. She lied to me saying she hadn’t given PSI anymore money. I later found out she did. Thousands of dollars for a week at the ranch? Come on. You could take three cruises for that kind of money and not have to sit in a rec room at the ranch being brainwashed.

And then to lie about it? If the program is so great why lie? I don’t know what bothered me more; the fact that she lied or the fact that when she did lie I BELIEVED her. I couldn’t tell. And that had never happened before.

As for her number 10 relationship; Funny thing is; she hasn’t found it. She’s deep in debt and nothing to show for her life except for her failures. A house (foreclosed), car (repossessed) and several (and I do mean several) failed relationships. She gained so much weight it’s causing her health issues. She used to take care of herself. Some Tools huh?

What kind of "strategy" is there to simply not take the class? Why should anyone?

"They offer a money back guarantee?” Sure they do, minus fifty dollars. Oh and lets not forget the ‘four fun filled days’ spent doing the basic. Then the week at the ranch for PSI7. Then there are the leaderships programs----9 days. That’s nine thousand dollars for three “programs.” My wife spent that much the first four (that’s right, four) months. Would you shell out $9000.00 in four months?

The grads attempt to talk the people in their lives into taking the program(s) and when they run into someone who is of "average strength and intellect" who won't take the basic they leave. It’s that simple. They see it as being “unsupportive.” I saw it for what it was; a “SCAM.” A con job to take our money. I remember going to my wife’s basic graduation and being approached by several men asking me if I was interested in taking these courses. I said ‘no, it wasn’t for me.’ To a man, each on voiced/questioned if I wanted a better life? My answer to them was “I am happy with my life. I have a good, loving wife, a family I love and am proud of. I have a home and a job that I’m proud of and enjoy doing.” Why would I look to “improve” that? I guess I was the fool because my wife fell for this and it ruined our marriage. (I will always believe that and no one can convince me of it other wise.)

And apparently, I am not the only one. I saw the anguish this caused me, my children and my family. Not only my family, but hers as well. I’ve read the problems on this site, and others, about what this has done with regards to marriages/relationships when one person (and/or both) goes to these LGAT’s and I see a pattern. You would have to be blind and stupid not too. “Average strength and intellect?” People are always looking for the “quick fix” to their problems and some are willing to pay large sums of money to get it. And there are others who face up to their problems and live their lives without “the help” from PSI and its TOOLS.

And don’t take this the wrong way; but if you’re here to sell me/us and everyone else that’s against PSI, and for that matter, other LGAT’s; save it. I’ve lost too much already and I for one am not interested.

Remember; “WHAT WE DO IN LIFE ECHO’S AN ETERNITY.”

This was posted on a blog I just found.


"Hey everyone. I feel the need to get this out in the air so that none of you fall victim to this scam. This is a group called PSI. They host seminars which cost $480 for the “Basic” (first of a series). They try to sell you other seminars that cost upwards of $3500. They market these seminars as teaching you many useful tools like motivation, time management, letting go of your inhibitions, yada yada yada. Basically, for the “low cost” of the seminar, we will fix all your problems. I know someone who personally went through part of this and I am warning you, they use mild brainwashing techniques and are very demeaning. They get you locked into a state where you need to keep hearing these seminars in order to function. They can easily ruin your life be convincing you that you should get what you want now without having to work for it. Many people come out and buy houses they cant afford, max out their credit cards (or what is left after you have charged them for the cost of the seminar), and even break up with spouses and friends because their spouses are not taking the courses.

Please use extreme caution if any of your friends ask you to go to one of these. Make sure you look up some of the stories yourself if you are thinking of going. Type in “PSI Seminar” into Google and read for yourself."