([i:72e04a7d5a]What follows is not authoritative. These are personal hunches. I am urging other members of the message board community to ponder this and look at how humor operated in their groups--this may be something worth exploring as a diagnostic catagory for assessing the nature of a group or prospective partner.
C)[/i:72e04a7d5a]

There may be an additional item that can be added to the list of features for abusive
groups. It also shows up in abusive families, workplaces and injuriious dating relationships:

Abuse of Humor

Geuine humor, true laughter are nuturing and playful. They are not exercises in control.

Genuine humor real laughter, binds everyone together, but its the kind of bond similar to what happens when everyone's at the table savoring a good meal together. Its shared nourishment that is real and doesnt require any sort of ideological defense.

You never, walk away feeling jabbed at. There's a lingering
sweetness, as if you've all been given something you needed.

When genuine, laughter is from the belly, there's fluidity and sweetness in that laughter, its shared by everyone in the group and the tone is never harsh or shrill.

Real humor serves the entire group. It doesnt pull attention or loyalty to a leader.

Abusive Humor is different. Everyone recovering from a crummy group or relationship would do well to examine the humor in the group and whehter any one tried to control that humor or if the humor was common property.

Often if we grew up in a family where humor was abusive, we accept that kind of humor as normal and then put up with it as as adults, let ourselves get bullied, keep silent when others are cruelly laughed down or we perpetrate it ourselves--or do all three.

Abusive Humor

Abusive play and humor operate to support an existing power structure--and in the midst of the laughter, generates fear of questioning that power structure.

Real play and humor remind us that the power structure is not ultimate reality. Genuine play and humor subvert power structures and announce the Emperor has No Clothes.

Abusive humor often operates hierarchically. Usually the leader instigates the joke--and the underlings are supposed to validate the leader's witticism by laughing in assent.

I call this 'entourage laughter' or 'slavish laughter' and it keeps dictatorships in business.

In abusive groups and families, its rare for a low ranker to be allowed to instigate the joke. Laughter is interesting. When laughter is playful, it releases tension and when laugher is abusive, it pretends to release tension but is based on fear--a tension that continues to exist outside the joke.

Laughter in an abusive group tends to be harsh and shrill.

Laughter in abusive group is often tied to shame and jokes often carry a 'sting in the tail'-- they seem funny at the time but you feel off balance, often feel yoiu've been jabbed viciously and if you dare to question it, you are accused of 'being too sensitive; or of 'not having a sense of humor.'

Often, all too often in an abusive group,laughter requires a scapegoat. Others are kept in line by fearing to become targets of ridicule.


Genuine humor has the potential to unmask the pretensions of the leader, so he or she tries to maintain total control over the joke telling in the group.

In a healthy, non abusive relationship, humor and play are genuine becasue no one tries to own and control them. In a healthy, growth supportive famly and group, laughter and humor are common property, all members are free to joke, the only limit being not to hurt anyone.

An abusive leader (or partner or boss) has to be in control . That means he or she keeps control of the laughter and play patterns of the group, workspace or relationship. Sometimes a leader's favored minion is allowed to share custody of the group's joke telling, even to be a kind of court jester. But the leader can withdraw this privlige at any time.

In abusive groups, humor is no longer free. You validate the leader by laughing at his or her jokes--and by laughing harshly at viewpoints or scapegoated individuals whom the leader chooses to denigrate. And you live in fear of being singled out as scapegoat and you also live in fear that you 'may not get the joke' and fail to laugh, 'on cue' at the right time.

It may be a sign that you're unsuited for the group or are ready to leave when you find, more and more that the leaders witticisms are no longer funny, or that you cringe when you see others laughed down, or when you find that you no longer 'get the joke' or that you even want to be able to 'get the joke.'

Again, we need to get more people to ponder the role of humor and the abuse of humor in hurtful groups. So far Ive not yet seen anything in the literature on various warning signs lists that advise examining the humor patters and dysfunctions of a group or relationship that one is already in or is considering joining.

One other person did notice a connection between obsequious laughter and abusive power--WH Auden.

[b:72e04a7d5a]Epitaph for a Tyrant [/b:72e04a7d5a]

Perfection, of a kind, was what he was after.
And the poetry he invented was easy to understand;

He knew human folly like the back of his hand,
And was greatly interested in armies and fleets;

When he laughed, respectable senators burst with laughter,
And when he cried the little children died in the streets.

[i:72e04a7d5a](In LGAT's the 'poetry' is designed so that it is not easy to understood. But the nuts and bolts of recruitment and room set up are easy to understand--once one can stand to face that these are not special events but follow features of a master recipe that is for social engineering)[/i:72e04a7d5a]

Corboy, thanks for pointing this out. I agree this is a big piece of how they manipulate people. Even on the Landmark video, you see the woman being humiliated and the audience laughing. If you don't laugh at the leader's jokes you are generally accused of being an intellectual asshole or you get told to 'get over yourself' or 'your ego is getting in the way'.

I also think they deliberate set up scapegoats and make jokes at their expense; even if the scapegoat ends up leaving, its a good lesson for the rest of the group and they don't mind losing one or two people to make a point.

The other way they use humour is by having in-jokes between people who have done more advanced courses, and the people who've done more advanced courses make fun of 'newbies' using crypic jokes comments based on advanced trainings. I'm not saying this is set up as a conspiracy; only that it happens as a natural result of the structure of the organisations and courses and it is not discouraged by the leaders.

Another thing is people making fools of themselves in various games, and everyone laughing - that's okay amongst friends where everyone gets silly, but the trainers NEVER get silly, they always keep themselves in a dignified status.

Quote
SaneAgain
I also think they deliberate set up scapegoats and make jokes at their expense; even if the scapegoat ends up leaving, its a good lesson for the rest of the group and they don't mind losing one or two people to make a point.

The losing them is also used to make a point of how they are not applying "it" as they should.

Isn't it funny how this works... LOL... Actually this isn't funny because I am one of the ones who did not get "it" as they so say.

Which as I am sorting out the mess in my life, it actually hurts very deeply with laughter being the furthest thing I feel in it.

Wow. This is all very interesting.

John

Moderator Corboy,
I am trying to make other correlations on how an LGAT atmosphere may pervert regular human behaviors and emotions. Would you say the stifling of a sincere, well-intentioned belly laugh is to Humor as Love-Bombing (not 100% sure what that is) is to Love, in the LGAT? Or grief and sorrow is to Being a Victim as critical thinking is to being an Arsewipe (or Interrupter) in the LGAT setting? I just wonder what other faces there are to human behaviors that the LGAT corrupts, how they manifest, how other topics could apply to same formula of this thread topic and be as detailed and informative as the Humor analyzation. What do you think?

Dear Glaucon, I am no longer a volunteeer moderator--I retired from
this position almost two years ago.

That article on humor was more of a hunch, an invitation to the message board community to examine the use and abuse of humor, because it seemed a promising avenue to examine, when assessing whether a group or even a two person relationship is worth getting involved with--or best avoided.

The people here who have been exposed to various groups are the ones who can add to the discussion; all I wanted to do was get the ball rolling and invite others to continue the process from their own perspectives.