we hung out over much of Saturday and Sunday.

Friday I had called her and a few of the things that I told her worried her so much that she came to visit me. (we live about four or five hours away by car.)

I cannot summarize what has happened to me since last year. too much. too much to explain.

we talked and I said to her that her conversion experience had changed the way I look at other people pretty profoundly. and that sparked off a spiritual crisis though not of the immensity or intensity as what I would experience later last year and this year.

things came to a head when she brought up the topic of cults. I did not say anything, but an awkward pause came and she read my expression. she gave me the compliment of saying that she thought that I had too strong a will for Landmark to have affected me which acknowledged even if obliquely that they do try to influence people. she used the word "authentic" in a particular way later and, again, without my saying anything, she picked up on the fact that I associated the word with Landmark and chastised me for thinking less of her.

my father has only praise for the changes in his brother since the latter took est (and went on to work as an est trainer [in what capacity I don't know]), the Forum and (up until 1995), LEC. he mentioned his brother's honesty. which of all things, I found most lacking in my uncle.

did I find him congruent with LEC's concepts of integrity and authenticity, yes. congruent with common sense definitions of transparency, no.

so.

this weekend went really well. pressing the point with her any more seemed like a futile gesture. she seemed much more like her old self, before she took the courses.

I myself have changed so much since I began to post here that I do not know how much of it comes from me and how much from her, the way our relationship has changed and gotten much more strong.

side-note: one of my sister's ex-boyfriend got murdered by the leader of a cult (who has since gotten arrested for the act). only recently, through this site, and not through her (that goes to show the lack of closeness we have, I think) did I discover this.