I am fairly new to this whole area, so please bear with me...

I have a dear freind who recently called me from Miami with an invitation for the Tuesday night "graduation" of the forum.

Upon researching this site extensively I am very relieved that I didn't commit to attend. However, my research has also lead me to become very concerned for my freind's well being.

When she returns home to Key West on Wednesday I had planned to ask her to have a look around at a few of the personal expiriences that I have found on this site regarding the forum and it's effects on those who have been involved. It occurs to me now that this may not be the wisest path.

Has anyone out there ever tried this sort of approach before? If so, what sort of response did your concerns recieve?

Thanks in advance for any guidance anyone may be able to send my way!

Islandhopper

Hi there,

It really depends on how deeply she was indoctrinated (~transformed~) and, I guess, what type of person she was before she got involved with Landmark - in other words, was she idealistic, prone to fantasy, did she aspire to a higher class or status, have lots of plans to better herself, or tend to gravitate towards these types of "seminars?" Also, was she recently bothered or down or depressed about some setback, was she in some sort of "transition," or maybe chronically anxious or sad? Does she have any history of "addictive" or "obsessive" or "compulsive" behavior? Landmark programs are tailored to all sorts of different personality types, but I think those hardest hit or worst damaged fit certain types more than others, and of course, there is the "suggestibility" factor - whether a person is easily influenced by those he or she imagines to be superior in some way. If she is also hypnotizable and has or had certain traumatic or abusive memories that troubled her, they might have gotten to her in such a way that she may never be the same. Landmark programs use a type of hypnosis, suggestion, or "NLP" that can and does reach into the very innermost core personality traits - one of the reasons the 1977 book about cults like est, (predecessor of Landmark), written by Conway and Siegelman titled, "Snapping," is subtitled, "America's Epidemic of Sudden Personality Change."

I would tread very lightly, knowing what I now know. Giving her the bad news about Landmark while she is "in thrall" is likely to drive her away and alienate her beyond any reconcilliation. The fact that she tried to recruit you is some evidence that she has taken the "training" to heart and is following their directives. Unless she is unusually pragmatic, has some very close friends and family who are aware of the con-game of Landmark, or has some other shock of recognition, she will not likely accept or even look at any of the information you give her. She has already been instructed and rehearsed ways to deal with criticism.

You might wait until she voices some doubt or concern about the things they tell her, or has some sort of problem with what she is doing. She may be more receptive if you offer some information at that time, but don't make it "personal." Landmark followers tend to be more egotistical or narcissistic and may not take blows to their ego very well.


Take care,

Ellen

Ellen,

Thank you so much for your reply. I could not have asked for a more well thought out and insightful response. I think you are correct. I plan to tread lightly for fear of defensive retreat.

islandhopper

D--- good words of advice from Elena.....suffice it to say I was in the rocking boat that your have been abruptly tossed into to grasp as it sinks in shark waters .... this is highly volatile stuff on both the vics and connective relations like us...you seem to grasping this in the best way- logic 1st..then gut-reading..I have always been a proponent of "gut - sensing" - my descriptive....
If you are new here, I have not been LEC'd, but lost a soulmate of 22 yrs over 1 weekend...if you'd like to chat or bounce questies off me, just e-mail me, I'd gladly respond. Keep your faith in yourself, foremost! If you have inquired into this site and noticed the LEC" magic-elixor shit" you ARE sane and ok...

PAX

Quote
islandhopper
Ellen,

Thank you so much for your reply. I could not have asked for a more well thought out and insightful response. I think you are correct. I plan to tread lightly for fear of defensive retreat.

islandhopper

You're welcome. Here's a link to a terrific site that no longer exists, (you have to go to the "Wayback Machine" to find it), in which the author compiled a lot of comments from people who wrote to him. You can also read the "I Love Landmark" comments which tell an even more ominous tale, when you read between the lines.


Ellen


[web.archive.org]