starting deprogramming
Date: May 04, 2005 08:10AM
Hi there,
It really depends on how deeply she was indoctrinated (~transformed~) and, I guess, what type of person she was before she got involved with Landmark - in other words, was she idealistic, prone to fantasy, did she aspire to a higher class or status, have lots of plans to better herself, or tend to gravitate towards these types of "seminars?" Also, was she recently bothered or down or depressed about some setback, was she in some sort of "transition," or maybe chronically anxious or sad? Does she have any history of "addictive" or "obsessive" or "compulsive" behavior? Landmark programs are tailored to all sorts of different personality types, but I think those hardest hit or worst damaged fit certain types more than others, and of course, there is the "suggestibility" factor - whether a person is easily influenced by those he or she imagines to be superior in some way. If she is also hypnotizable and has or had certain traumatic or abusive memories that troubled her, they might have gotten to her in such a way that she may never be the same. Landmark programs use a type of hypnosis, suggestion, or "NLP" that can and does reach into the very innermost core personality traits - one of the reasons the 1977 book about cults like est, (predecessor of Landmark), written by Conway and Siegelman titled, "Snapping," is subtitled, "America's Epidemic of Sudden Personality Change."
I would tread very lightly, knowing what I now know. Giving her the bad news about Landmark while she is "in thrall" is likely to drive her away and alienate her beyond any reconcilliation. The fact that she tried to recruit you is some evidence that she has taken the "training" to heart and is following their directives. Unless she is unusually pragmatic, has some very close friends and family who are aware of the con-game of Landmark, or has some other shock of recognition, she will not likely accept or even look at any of the information you give her. She has already been instructed and rehearsed ways to deal with criticism.
You might wait until she voices some doubt or concern about the things they tell her, or has some sort of problem with what she is doing. She may be more receptive if you offer some information at that time, but don't make it "personal." Landmark followers tend to be more egotistical or narcissistic and may not take blows to their ego very well.
Take care,
Ellen