The singer has left me email and phone messages saying that she'd like to talk, and it looks like it will be today or tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes.

After a few days of telephone tag the singer called me yesterday and we spoke for about 20 minutes. I had prepared myself by deciding that I would listen to what she had to say, respond accordingly, and not attempt to convince her of anything. She started off my discussing what I had raised about her name, telling me the literal meaning of the name. I told that she had told me that she had told me that some time ago and that I was interested in the significance of the new name and from what language it was created. She told me that she considered it to be a spiritual name, taken from Egyptian, and that that is what she wants to be called at this time. When I asked her whether she had considered the issues I raised (omitted from my letter in this thread) about how people might mis-interpret her name, she said that that didn't bother her.

She went on to say that she didn't respond to my previous letter because she knew that it wouldn't resolve anything. She told me that she has felt uncomfortable talking with me about Landmark (and therefore has restrained herself, which she thought might have been a mistake), and uncomfortable that she felt constrained to not talk about it. I told her that I have felt the same sort of conflict and wrote my letters in order to put an end to it because I needed to let her know where I stand. She said that my experience of Lifespring and hers of Landmark are different. I acknowledged that different people have different experiences of the same things but that fact doesn't lead to me to change anything I had written.

She said that maybe we've grown apart creatively. I suggested that there is no way to know that she's we haven't worked together since last Spring. She clarified that she meant that we grown apart not musically, but in other ways, her participation in Landmark being an example. She said that she didn't think she had time to be in my group given how busy I'd like for it to get and how busy she is with other activities, Landmark included. She told me that she held no ill feelings for me and that she thought that I didn't for her, either. I told her that I didn't and repeated that I would very much like to work with her but that I find myself quite conflicted about it for the reasons I wrote. (I find it interesting that she never said anything about how much she has enjoyed working with me and that she would like to continue. Maybe my letter made that difficult for her to say.) She asked me to keep her on my mailing list and I wished her well on her gig last night and that was it.

What a relief I feel to have said what I needed to say and to me free of this woman when she is entangled with Landmark.

Other good news: Earlier in the day I spoke with another singer I had worked with previously and she told me that she is available and eager to work with me if my current (i.e., Landmark) singer does not work out. So it's out with the old and in with the new (or older).

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concernedfriend

What a relief I feel to have said what I needed to say and to me free of this woman when she is entangled with Landmark.

...Especially since you know all about this type of thing from the inside and know how difficult it can be to have anything resembling a "normal" relationship.

Sometimes people just have to learn the hard way. Or learn for themselves. Or something.

I hope she comes to her senses sooner rather than later.


Ellen

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elena
I hope she comes to her senses sooner rather than later.

So do I, but I'm not optimistic.