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In my previous letter to you I wrote that I was not finding as much to write as I thought I would have. I believe that I now know what I was missing.
Since telling you my Lifespring story in the fall of 2004, I have assumed that you understood my view of Lifespring and other similar organizations, such as Landmark. I suspect that my assumption may have been incorrect, for two reasons: 1) because I never explicitly told you my view, and 2) because more than once you have said that you know I had a bad experience in Lifespring, and you said that in such as way as to suggest that Lifespring and other such organizations might work for some people and not for others. I want you to know that I have a fundamental philosophical dispute with the way these organizations function. I know that everyone involved in such an organization is encouraged to enroll everyone with whom they come into contact, and the natural course of events is that life within the organization grows while contact with anyone outside the organization diminishes. As far as I know, when I told you my Lifespring story, you were not yet involved with, or even considering involvement with, Landmark. When I first learned that you had become involved with Landmark I felt the threat that that implied for my working with you, and I also felt disappointed that you hadn’t taken advantage of what I had shared with you.
But now, to the present, and the future. If we are going to work together in the context of my group I want you to know that my group is not to be a venue for Landmark enrollment. I expect you to refrain from speaking about Landmark to any of the members of the group. I would consider any such conversation with a member of the group to be an attempt to remove that person from the group. Furthermore, I expect you to refrain from speaking about Landmark with anyone else you meet in that context. I would consider any such conversation to be associating my group with an organization whose purposes I oppose.
I realize how much work it has been for me to avoid talking about the issues I’ve raised in this letter. I’m raising them now because I do want to work with you but I have serious concerns regarding your continuing participation in Landmark. I consider it essential that you know where I stand.
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concernedfriend
I am considering sending the following letter to the singer in my group. What do you think?
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I'd write her off. Really. Not being flip or inconsiderate but knowing what I do know about Landmark, the last thing I'd want to do is get involved with a follower -- on any level. It's just too much work, too demoralizing, too frustrating, too futile. Landmark turns people into users who are glib, arrogant, know-it-alls if they aren't turned into brain-damaged fools who think they are in possession of the keys to life. I might tell her to look me up if and when she gets out of the thing and can recount why and how it is harmful, silly, and a collosal waste of time. (Even if she agrees to your demands, Landmarkers lie, twist, shade, and distort the truth. They call it ~creating your own reality.~)
Ellen
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blarney36363636
Right you are Ellen. I called up a close family member a month ago to tell him about all the research I was finding out about on Landmark and Werner Erhard. It took me a while to realize it on the phone, but he started shifting the conversation away from my questions about Landmark (he's a staff member there), and started trying to "coach" me instead. For example, when I would ask a specific question trying to get information on the connections between Erhard and Landmark, he would say "I'm so worried about you...you seem to be obsessing over this...are you alright mentally?" - Shifting the discussion away from content and towards a very subtle, almost attack on my motivations and well-being!
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concernedfriend
I am considering sending the following letter to the singer in my group. What do you think?
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Dynamix
Something like having a band member try to recruit people could reflect badly on your group, so yeah, I think it's quite appropriate to tell her either shut up about it or get out. I suggest you add to it a bit to really emphasise that point though, probably right after that second last paragraph:
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elena
I'd write her off. Really. Not being flip or inconsiderate but knowing what I do know about Landmark, the last thing I'd want to do is get involved with a follower -- on any level. It's just too much work, too demoralizing, too frustrating, too futile. Landmark turns people into users who are glib, arrogant, know-it-alls if they aren't turned into brain-damaged fools who think they are in possession of the keys to life. I might tell her to look me up if and when she gets out of the thing and can recount why and how it is harmful, silly, and a collosal waste of time. (Even if she agrees to your demands, Landmarkers lie, twist, shade, and distort the truth. They call it ~creating your own reality.~)
Ellen
Often I think this way, but she is an excellent singer for my group, I like working with her, and, very importantly, she has never badgered me about attending Landmark. In the 18 months during which she has been in Landmark she made a total of two invitations. So if it weren't for my previous experience with Lifespring I might not even be concerned about her involvement with Landmark.Quote
Loela
Concerned friend, I agree with everyone else who posted. Probably should let her go. Having had my own Landmark experiences I tried to maintain contact with some Landmark-made friends while pushing away from Landmark in general and it didn't work out.
Honesty _is the best policy, as they say.Quote
I think spelling your concerns out as crystal clear as you have in your email would make your feelings quite clear and should create an atmosphere where you both feel free to speak your minds. Better to be honest about your concerns up front then wait and see what would happen if she joins the group.
I will do that.Quote
Hope you write and give us all an update!