This is my first post, so please bear with me. My girlfriend and I have known each other for 9 years. We have been dating for 4 months, mostly happily. 2 years ago she did the forum and continued through the advanced course, SELP, was a SELP coach and now wants to do the ILP.

We ended up having a huge argument about her involvement. It got so heated that I almost ended the relationship. However, I love her so much. She stated that she would not do the ILP this time around, she received some "coaching" from some body(taking head)up the LE chain of command.

She claims that she won't do it this time around, but she WILL do it some time.

Is there anyone out there that can relate to this or has experience with the ILP process?

Hi Foodguy,

You will find there are lots of posts about the Landmark Forum on this site and quite a few about leadership and ILP.

If your girlfriend is being coached (pressured) into ILP she will be getting more and more pressure towards the beginning of the next programme (september). She may think she knows how get them to back off but she doesn't. ILP is the programme that trains here to introduce (brainwash) people into the Landmark Forum.

Her life as she knows will be over. she will be expected to spend many hours registering people into the course as well as learn pages and pages of out of context information to help her convince people to do the course.

She will have to attend classrooms weekly, weekends every six weeks, and assist for a minimum of 3 hours each week in the centre. She will also have to attend evening sessions of courses to sit in the introduction rooms. She will be in a small group who will meet weekly and have buddy meetings with a buddy. She will receive coaching from an ILP coach two to three times a week and all of this is about her registering people into the landmark forum

She will have to memorise the introduction and come up with some "enrolling shares" which on the whole are exagerated to sound even better and then she will have to lead some introductions hoping to register someone into the Landmark forum.

She will also make those annoying follow up phone calls to people who didn't register on the night and try and convince them to register.

I can tell you now if you have not done it she will be under pressure to get you to do it as her partner/boyfriend.

ILP is six months of living breathing and being Landmark!!

The hard part is that if you get to negative with her about it you will be the one who looses out because she is already trained in so much of their thinking that she will not listen to any common sense you have and anything you say will be taken as "closed minded" on your part.

Having done ILP and all the other programmes landmark offers, I would strongly recommend she leave landmark as soon as possible, but I also know until she sees landmark for what it truely is any warning I give is going to land on deaf ears. Having been in her place until i was ready to open my eyes to what I was seeing I refused to hear anything negative about landmark and dumped friendships over this.

All I can say is good luck to you. You are going to have to make a lot of compromises to keep your relationship if that is what you want.

Sonnie

p.s sorry to be the bearer of bad news

Hi Sonnie,

It's good news if it saves someone else from being sucked in to the Landmark maw! It's good news if it helps someone distance him or herself from a partner who is firmly committed to embarking on this course. It's good news if it deprives Landmark of another slave.



Ellen

Thanks Sonnie,

I was mildly aware of the committments that the ILP demanded, but I had no idea of the amount of coaching she would be "forcefed". I thought it was bad enough when she coached the SELP this spring. She was on the phone 3 to 5 times per week with her "participants" and then on the phone with her "coach".

I coped by distancing myself, drinking a lot, researching LE. I made one startling discovery.....no one really has anything nice or positive to say about it. I did find 1 site that had 3 forums: I hate it, I love it or neutral.
All of which were very helpful. The Landmarkians that exist on the web seem to be so angry and pissed off! Is this normal for them? Is it that they are being confronted by their realization that they got sucked into this thing?

The more that I look into the world that is LE I am beginning to feel that it is a reverse matrix: First you live in the real world(with all of it's problems and realities), then you are hooked up to a machine(presto! everything is prefect). Is this similar to how you see it? You have a great perspective on the LE world and I would like to know more of your insights.

When and how did you "wake up" from the LE nightmare?

Thanks again.

Quote
foodguypdx
We ended up having a huge argument about her involvement. It got so heated that I almost ended the relationship.

Hi,

I've been through a similar situation very recently, and arguing was frequent. You can read all about it here:

[board.culteducation.com]


The fact that I was resisting her enrolling techniques ended our relationship. The only way I could have saved our relationship was for me to accept what she was doing and eventually join Landmark. I refused. I had to save myself and my kids (she was going after them too!). I finaly ended up asking her to choose between Landmark or me because she said she loved me so much!!! She choosed Landmark - or actually, she was coached to choose Landmark.

If you really love her, I would suggest you go see the Center manager and ask him to leave her alone!!! But you must be prepared for the fight of your life, and she will not even support you. Perhaps this is Mission Impossible, and it could be very dangerous for you. Those people are "expert manipulators". You will be told that your are "running a racket" and that the price you have to pay is to loose your relationship!!! You will be told that "you are creating the problem" and that "you are responsible". But actually, Landmark is creating the problem, and Landmark is responsible for the pain "they" create. This is sick and outrageous, but this is the reality.

Don't want to be pessimistic, and I sure hope you can save your relationship. However, unless you join her in Landmark or unless she joins you and leave Landmark, I don't believe it's possible. This is why it's been described as a cult everywhere.

Michael D

Wow!

Is that what you did Michael, did you really confront the center director? If you did, you have some major kahonas. The end of the argument was that she saw the impact LE and the ILP(not signed up for it yet, mind you) were having on her/us and that she would not take ILP at this time for that reason and for the fact that she can not afford to pay for her own transpo. and lodging in San Francisco during ILP.

I have decided not to discuss my feelings about LE and not hope that the "break" from LE that she is on will lead to an either: scaled down involvement with or complete break all together. Only time will tell.

Thanks for the support, I have felt so alone regarding LE and it's ramifications.

Keep in touch Michael and everyone else.

foodguypdx

Quote

The more that I look into the world that is LE I am beginning to feel that it is a reverse matrix: First you live in the real world(with all of it's problems and realities), then you are hooked up to a machine(presto! everything is prefect). Is this similar to how you see it? You have a great perspective on the LE world and I would like to know more of your insights.

When and how did you "wake up" from the LE nightmare?

I dont think you see the world as perfect inside landmark what you feel is the high while you are on the machine and the crash when you come off the but high feels so good! You want more because its not a high made by drugs, alcohol or anything physically harmful. The high is harmfull but its effects are harder to spot because it is emotional and intangible.

I have a good perspective because I was involved for many years including being on staff for 18 months. I was coached to death (well almost anyway)

When and how did I wake up, when was a slow process really although at the time it was like a bang. I realised after many coaching sessions by my manager and the regional manager that I had lost all my self esteem. I didn't even believe I would get a good job so when I looked for a new job I took one that a 18 year old could do.

Physically I was also drained. Staff is a 150% committment. I would arrive at work at 8am to get things done before the other staff because I had to answer the phones. I would leave late. I was told I was not friendly enough I was told I was over friendly, I was told I was not committed. I worked six days a week and usually got called in on a sunday during courses. I got into debt because the pay was so bad. I ended up in hospital because I was coached that sickness was a story and racket. and finally realised I was being used.

I have been away from landmark completely for a few years and I am finally more like my old self (well so my parents and friends say) I had to rebuild friendships. When I started at my job I didn't know what to do with myself during non work hours!

well this has kind of ended up as a little vent of all but I hope it helps you understand a bit more