Years ago on this forum I posted a thread about a church that I had come out of. I was angry, and definitely venting quite a bit. When I clicked through the rules for the forum, I assumed (like Apple's rules or any other) that they were standard boilerplate.

So I wrote my post. I said what I said. I recently found out tht the church got it's shit together, and I was really thrilled to hear it. Furthermore, I learnt that the pastor had been going through some really rough, very personal stuff at the time, that he worked hard to overcome.

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about that post. I wish I hadn't been so angry, and I wish I hadn't dragged the guy the guy through the mud, knowing what I know now. SO I went back to delete it, and found out by a very curt and uncompassionate message from a moderator (after I poured my heart out) that it wouldn't be allowed.

I have to say this: As a therapist, I am REALLY creeped out by the fact that a website that strives to help people recover their autonomy after having it stripped away,then holds under lock and key the ability for those on the forum to be in charge of their own stories. I definitely understand why they would be reluctant to allow free-for-all editing, or even deleting for that matter. But I feel like there should be room for a case-by-case basis. At this point, any retraction or apology I make is going to be buried under three pages, and no one will see it. I'm even totally fine with leaving the rest of the thread up, just taking out my contribution to it. I am really upset by this, and honestly, it's pretty triggering for me to feel like I have no control. I am just so upset and sad and frustrated right now.

iwanttobewell:

The rules you agreed to before posting here say the following:

"You may edit your posts for up to 30 minutes after submitting them. After 30 minutes, no post can be edited or deleted."

See [forum.culteducation.com]

When you messaged me I explained this to you. But you can post a retraction, apology, correction on the thread if you want.

See [forum.culteducation.com]

Feel free to post on this thread and set the record straight.

BTW--the best way to determine of a "church got it's shit together" is its constitutional and corporate bylaws and financial disclosure documents. It's called accountability and transparency. This is objective evidence as opposed to anecdotal and subjective opinion.

Is there a board elected to fixed terms by the general membership by secret ballot? Is this mandated through the bylaws?

Is there annual and independently audited financial statement and budget that discloses in detail all salaries, expenses and compensation paid out from church funds?

Does a democratically elected board as described above determine the budget, salaries and compensation?

Can the board fire staff, for example a pastor?

These objective facts determine whether or not a church has meaningful accountability and transparency.

You really must pay attention to the rules you agree to. The rules for this message board are brief and can easily be read quickly and understood.

Take responsibility for your action rather than attempting to somehow shift the focus to someone else.

The Liquid Church thread is short and your posts will be read if you are concerned enough to follow through.

Apologies folks. And thank you very much for all the replies. I did post after years of debating if I should. When I received no replies I did feel quite distraught (if that’s not too dramatic). But I appreciate we all have busy lives. So as I say I do apologies for my tone. Hope all is well with you all.