I am currently in a Trinitarian Pentecostal/holiness church, where women are expected to have long hair and not to wear pants. The men are to be clean shaving. The reason I went to this church was because i was sick. Soon after I joined I became very ill and almost died, the doctors was expecting me to die , but I came through. The church now says it was a miracle

The Pastor who is a woman has stated that any church that doesn’t believe as her church does will not make it to heaven. She says anybody that has talked about her will have to repent. She has complete control over the church, although there are assistant pastors they have to defer to her on any subject. The church believes in speaking in tongues, shouting (spirit dancing), and so on.

I'm not like most there, I don't do the shouting and speaking in tongues, and sometimes the sermon is directed at me.

What I really want to know is if I should leave.

P.S
Went again last night, they sang about an hour and nobody shouted , so the preacher got up and started praying for people, and a few started then. The music they play is fast paced and , sometimes they keep playing the same music over and over.

There are definitely some red flags there.

But rather than determining whether this church fits the definition of a cult, trust your instincts. It sounds like you are not comfortable with this church. There are plenty of other churches, so why not try those instead?

I'm inclined to think that if a situation makes you uneasy enough that you find yourself registering and posting on a cult education forum, it's probably a bad situation and your best bet is to get out of it.

Just my two cents.

This is a common practice kind of Pentecostalism and so to call it a "cult" you would have to look for a little more of the outright manipulative tactics, however I am betting you already see them, because this kind of Pentecostalism is usually driven strictly by the preacher and not part of a larger denominational body with any kind of accountability.

There is a lot of cult stuff that goes on in those churches that is in the group-hypnosis level. The kind of Pentecostalism that sticks to Biblical roots is very limited in how people behave. There may be some spontaneous glossolalia (praying in a nonsense language) but it is "orderly" and there never are those other behaviors. So the first problem is that you have a preacher and a group of followers who probably claim to be purely Biblical yet what they are doing is completely outside the Bible. Any expectation to the degree that you describe, that there must be some manifestation, is also placing the whole group under that preacher and not under some more established leadership such as the Bible.

I think you should leave. You apparently face pressure already about not praying in tongues. This is about 95% sure to grow into a mission on the part of that group to get you to pray in tongues or leave. This can become very co-ercive, because they may start going on about demons and they may try to instill fear in you. If they are extreme, and the dance suggests they are, they can be getting into voudou type of activity and that can have lasting effects on your mind. They develop seizures in people that they attribute to spirits but those seizures can be that you really are triggering deep nerves in your brain that are best left alone.

If I were you, I would think long and hard about why I am visiting such people and then I would choose a more mainstream group that meets the needs of either human fellowship or worshipping God. I would look for something more "boring" and read a lot to get a better sense of what is out there, especially in the religious field.

margarets
The thing is my family goes to this church, I was raised in one Pentecostal church or another from when I was five years old till now in my mid 30's. That kind of feelings was supposed to be from the Devil, Plus the pastor is related to me. I've found Hank Haagraff on the internet which make think otherwise

Angley, it sounds like you are reacting to a double situation: a religious cult combined with a family cult. You will most likely need some kind of support network to get yourself free from such a toxic combination.

Feelings don't come from the Devil. They are natural parts of human beings, and in themselves are neither good not bad. If we feel frightened or angry or sad, then the feeling is telling us to look at our situation and do something or get some help to change it. If we ignore the feelings or try to blame them on a devil, then we do not really respond to the situation. The Devil loves to take the blame for our feelings because then we won't ask for help to get beyond the situation that is causing the feelings, we'll just blame the devil and feel even worse.

I am highly suspicisous of your relative, the pastor, because you say she insists that all who talk about her will have to repent. Repent of what? Asking questions? She sounds awfully insecure, since any female pastor must be ready to face lots of discussion, and so I'm inclined to think you might be able to get help from a pastoral counselor with another church, one that is more mainstream and not connected with family members. That might be a good step rather than just trying to walk away all alone.

To whom it may concern:

dsm has been banned from this message board.

Rick Ross
www.culteducation.com

It sounds like in your post script that your pastor was attempting to evoke a response. The evocation was not simply asking everybody to turn around and shake hands with the person next to you but it was by praying. I'm concerned about the control that this pastor seems to wield. A pastor is supposed to be a humble servant and subject to God first but then the body of believers. The requirement of repentance for questioning her is a big red flag as well. Does this church tout that you must be saved over and over again, every night otherwise you will lose you salvation? For the moderators I bring that up not as a point of doctrinal debate but I bring it forward citing the holding of fear over the head of the party in question to keep them in subjection to the church. I'd just like to make that clear.

There are several things that you bring up that raise red flags with me. I would proceed with caution. I personally would break away but this is not about me it's about you. Your church seems as if it is symptomatic of cult definition in several areas. I hope the moderators will find nothing wrong with this statement and if they do I beg their lenience, but, it sounds as if you should pray about this decision and let the Holy Spirit lead you in which direction to lean. It sounds as though however that He is already allowing you to see what the others fail to though.

Good luck and God Bless.

Hi Angley

Sounds very much like a Struthers Memorial church I was part of. Sermons directed at those who asked questions, saying that anyone who questioned the pastpr would have to repent, that all other church members would go to hell and the shouting in tounges and repetitiveness. Add to that the deep control of members even to how one should wear their hair and that women shouldnt be allwoed to wear makeup etc.

I dont presume to know your situation or tell you what you should do, just that what you describe sounds oh so familiar with my experience. I wish I walked away a lot sooner and am thankful I got out when I did. If I could give any advice Id say listen to your heart and talk to close friends, family and established church learders. Maybe speak to other church leaders in the area if you are concerned

Other than that I wish you well and hope this helps some

God bless

Quote
Angley
I am currently in a Trinitarian Pentecostal/holiness church, where women are expected to have long hair and not to wear pants. The men are to be clean shaving. The reason I went to this church was because i was sick. Soon after I joined I became very ill and almost died, the doctors was expecting me to die , but I came through. The church now says it was a miracle

The Pastor who is a woman has stated that any church that doesn’t believe as her church does will not make it to heaven. She says anybody that has talked about her will have to repent. She has complete control over the church, although there are assistant pastors they have to defer to her on any subject. The church believes in speaking in tongues, shouting (spirit dancing), and so on.

I'm not like most there, I don't do the shouting and speaking in tongues, and sometimes the sermon is directed at me.

What I really want to know is if I should leave.

P.S
Went again last night, they sang about an hour and nobody shouted , so the preacher got up and started praying for people, and a few started then. The music they play is fast paced and , sometimes they keep playing the same music over and over.

VERY CULTISH! Read some of the materials on this forum that describe cult characteristics. I think you'll see a correlation between what you read and this church you're attending.

This is quite an old thread, so I am not sure whether anyone will read this, but my test is always the same. If the attitude is, "You can leave here and go anywhere in the world - any country, any religion, any experience, but there is something real here and we will always welcome you back" that is healthy. People are free to come and go, and to make their own decision. Many will stay because they have that freedom.

If the attitude is, "Don't ever go anywhere else, it is all bad and you will be drawn into evil" that is basically unhealthy. People are pressurised and stay for all the wrong reasons. What sort of message is it that says, "We are all so weak that we can never venture out of this place." Nonsense!