Re: Drug Rehab Cult Comunita Cenacolo
Date: October 29, 2012 07:33AM
I am writing this on my iPad in the chapel of American Martyrs Catholic Church in Manhattan Beach, CA. This is a church I have spent many years of my adult life in, and this chapel has been a great place of healing in the past. I am writing this here after some long prayer, asking for the Lord to reveal to me what to write, rather than acting on my own.
Please forgive me if there occur any odd misspellings or words entirely out of place. It is the iPad doing this.
First off is the most important thing. I responded to Mike privately in a way that violated everything that the Community teaches. I did not hold myself in and digest it for a few days, allowing anger and any other negative emotions to dissipate. The very night I wrote my first response I heard the words of the Bible ringing in my ears--"Do not let the sun go down on your wrath." Also there is "Pray for your enemies. Do good to those who hurt you." And there is the example of Jesus, who was hurt so much more and yet endured without raising a fist.
I wrote back terrible things. I called him on something I had done a while back for him. This is the worst I feel of what I did, and I want him to know that I confessed that specifically not only here, but to a priest. I also wrote extensively about my own history, alluded to in the first part of my first post on this board, challenging him on the level of suffering I understood about the men in Community. As I know a lot about the pain that the average guy has experienced who enters Cenacolo, I do not believe I was incorrect. However, I was totally wrong in my approach. For all of this I apologize, both personally to him and to the Community.
The matter of me "nearly killing" someone was simply a soccer match where both an opposing player and myself were gunning for the ball at equal speed. We knocked heads and both fell to the ground. He screamed but was uninjured. I didn't scream but was cut above my left eye and had blood going down the side of my face. Several people, including Mike, rushed to the scene. I shook hands with the opposing player and was escorted off the field and taken to the local hospital.
Yesterday I went to Confession for my part in this whole ordeal. The priest, whom I had been to for the first time, is a member of the Oblates of the Blessed Virgin Mary and was ordained by Blessed John Paul II personally. He is a man of great insight. He recommended Mike that I say for you a Divine Mercy Chaplet novena that you may become "a great saint in Heaven." Later I went to see the prolife group that I am normally with on Saturdays, and there were several people there. We all said the Chaplet for this and other intentions. One of them left before I could ask, but I asked the remaining five if they would do the novena along with me. Mike, I read in your first response what you are going through. As a result of our exchange, you now have seven people praying for you. Such is how God works things for good out of conflict.
The priest also recommended that we take this to Albino. Since he was a priest and it was under the Confessional, I have no choice but to approach him about it. I don't want to hate you. I'm not called to hate anybody. And whatever you respond with, or if you do not respond at all, I will continue to pray for you. I know what the struggles are like that the guys go through with God and their families because I've been there. I went through all that for many years and still have to watch out for it. I hope you can forgive me for my response because I was going over and over in my head with all that pain and, well...now I'm getting off of being guided by the Lord here and into self-justification so I'll leave that thought unfinished.
To the parents, if anybody wants to hear about the challenging experiences I had in Community I'll write about them privately to you. It's just that in previous posts I never wrote about them because God healed me of the pain of them in Lourdes and changed almost overnight from negatives to positives. If it wasn't for them my experience in Lourdes would have not been so healing. EVEN THE BROTHERS THEMSELVES, SOME OF WHOM DID LOOK DOWN ON ME AT THE TIME, NOTED THAT WHEN I RETURNED FROM LOURDES I HAD "GREATER CONFIDENCE". I came back and have visited the Community many times since and things with the members, both old and new, have always been great. Mike, other than that one day in Lourdes you've never seen this. You're judging by the past from several years ago. Nothing of what you describe exists anymore and hasn't for years. So yes, I will write in private to anyone who wants to hear, and I will tell how I now am thankful that those things happened. They led to such incredible graces because the power of God is stronger than anything people can do!
I know that Albino is currently indisposed for personal reasons, so I have to wait at least a few weeks.
Yes, I did say I thought we should no longer speak, but I must go first by what the priest says. Also, I am writing this publicly because I said there would be no more private messages and you didn't seem to want them either. I hope that Albino allows you to re-enter, if that is what you wish and need.
God bless to all.