The Lord has blessed me with a wonderful, Godly woman who has captured my heart. Our relationship was proceeding fine until we visited her church, a Calvary Chapel site, and was "counseled" by one of the Ass't Pastors. Now, she has been thrown into much confusion and hurt concerning our relationship. I had some red flags raised in my spirit over certain administrative aspects of the church, though I see NO indication they are a cult at all. The biggest problem we are encountering is the treatment of those ladies in their church who have formed relationships with men. The church leadership comes across as VERY abnormally protective and insists upon a prescribed "dating and relationship" formula in order for a couple to be acceptable as potential marital partners.

I need my fellow believer's insights and wisdom here, please. I'm NOT into church bashing or causing dissension as I have been in lay ministry myself for nearly 25 years and am completing my ministerial licensing program.

I love this Godly woman with all my heart and I am standing with her during her time of hurt. Your counsel and advise is appreciated!!!!!

'Formerly when you did not know God you were in bondage to beings that by nature are no gods, but now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how can you turn back again to the weak and beggerly elemental spirits whose slaves you want to be once more? You observe days and months and seasons and years. I am afraid I have labored over you in vain.' (Galatians, 4: 8-11)

and Paul concludes

'For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand fast therefore and [i:d25f59d82c]do not again submit to the yoke of slavery[/i:d25f59d82c].' (Gal 5:1)

In Galatians Paul expressed these concerns to a house church whose members felt the Gospel wasnt enough, who were starting to fear they needed to do more--such as fret about psychic phenomena and worry themselves whether a given day was lucky or unlucky. Paul'ss advice applies to any community or pastor who feels a need to 'add something extra.'

All too often when a church leader feels a need to add extra rules and regulations, unless this is done prayerfully and in line with the whole community, those extra rules and regulations end up enhancing human authority and eclipsing God. You end up so distracted by obeying the whims of the pastor that you start getting scared of God and lose trust in him. Then you end up feeling more dependant on Pastor X and his ability to tell you want God wants and things go downhill from there.

Please stay away from this church!!! I'm sure there are good Calvary Chapels, but your "red flags" are telling you something important. I had red flags almost immediately, but hoped and prayed that they were incorrect. Now, my family has been deeply wounded by the evil policies of this church. Here is the formula: the pastor is in complete total control with absolute secrecy. There may be some that know some things, but those people are few and they also do not reveal what they know. They will tell you that all information is "open" if people just want to ask privately.....but then if you ask, you are "attacking" them! And members will be thrown out of the church for "attacking" (i.e. asking questions/seeking some level of financial disclosure). They do believe theirs is the only way and you would be surprised how hateful they are if you dare to suggest that something could be done more openly. Please listen to your discernment and run from this evil place....and take this woman with you!!