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MsR07
[b:f6354ac96a]Hello everyone. I'm a 19 year old female and I just joined after reading some of these discussions.[/b:f6354ac96a] [i:f6354ac96a](Brace yourselves because this post has nothing of substance other than to describe my recent questioning of these principles.)[/i:f6354ac96a]
I have been raised on what I've come to refer to as "Bible Doctrine," under Colonel Thieme, and that's all I've ever known. It hasn't been until recently, in the past year really, that I've stepped back and realized that I associate my salvation with doing everything the Colonel says, not even the Bible, but the Colonel. I haven't come to question my faith, I am a Christian and I believe in God, Christ's death, and salvation through Christ with all that I am. But recently it's as though a window has opened in my mind and I've realized I can't back up anything I believe in, even to myself, other than it's what I learned from the Colonel. I think he is a good man and has many many great principles, but surely only what he says is okay is not what I should base my entire faith upon. And like many of you have said, when questioned about the fact that I am in a cult-like organization, I usually find myself thinking "well, person, surely you must not truly understand the Bible. Poor soul."
I even find myself feeling guilty by coming to this site and making this post. Not guilt as if I might be blaspheming or sinning, but guilt because I have always been taught not to question what Col Thieme says. I'm a naturally analytical and curious person, and not one to typically accept something "just because it's so." So I believe that in the back of my mind this questioning of his authority has been building up, yet supressed because of the emphasis of his word being final in my upbringing. I'm not from Texas, but visited the church several times with my parents over the years. Occasionally I'd find myself surprised by something he said or some rule he has that seemed off-the-wall, and once I even made a half-joking comment to my mother about I hope I wouldn't be excommunicated from the church because heaven forbid I broke one of their rules... It was as though I had questioned the existence of God himself. She didn't take it well.
Needless to say, I've decided my parents aren't the most unbiased people to discuss my sudden crisis with. But like I said, I'm very new to open my eyes to the fact that this just maybe isn't the absolute set-in-stone truth. I'm still figuring it out, and trying to decide where to go from here.
I suppose to sum up what I've been trying to say... This is all I know. If and when any of you first began to question some of his teachings after learning only that your entire life, where did you go? Where did you start, how did you come to a place that you felt good about, and did you have to learn to separate a few of the Colonel's oddities from God's word?
Well, if I were you (and I was you at one point, about 5 years ago), I would do several things.
First, realize (which I think you already have) that it is very important not only to know what you believe, but to know why you believe it. And "cause the colonel said so" isn't a good enough reason, (as he would undoubtedly agree.)
Second, get yourself a good electronic bible. The best and cheapest I've ever seen can be downloaded for free at www.e-sword.com With this, you can search for ideas and keywords in the bible much faster and easier than with a paper bible. Also you can look up the greek and hebrew definitions of words, etc. It's just a very good bible study tool, and best of all it's free.
Third, pick a doctrine or concept that the Colonel has taught you that you either disagree with or just are uncertain about. If the Colonel has written a book on this subject, get the book. (this is also free.) And read the scripture references that he quotes to make his points. And then (this is critical), READ THE WHOLE CHAPTER.
If the Colonel quotes 1Corinthians 2:4-7, then read all of 1Corinthians chapter 2, and maybe even the last verse or two in chapter 1 and the first couple of verses in chapter 3. Context is sooooo critical in understanding the bible, so if you pick one verse out of the chapter without also considering the surrounding verses, it can be misleading.
Fourth, let God speak to you through His word. If you are a Christian and you are reading the word, God will speak to you. And compare what God is telling you to what the Colonel has told you. If they are the same, then you are finished. If they are different, then you need to listen to God and forget what the Colonel taught you (about that one issue.) Don't throw out everything you learned from the Colonel just because you discover that he was wrong about one thing. You have to evaluate each doctrine individually in this way. No pastor is correct 100% of the time, and the Colonel is no exception.
This is what I had to do about 5 years ago (and I am still doing it.) Because like you, I was questioning some things I had learned at Berachah. And you know what? I have come to the conclusion that yes, some of those things that Col. Thieme had taught me were wrong according to the bible. But I had also learned that many (dare I say most) of the things he had taught me were correct. And now they were really driven deep into my soul, because I now had the confidence of knowing why I believed them. And if someone were to ask me now, why I believe in certain doctrines, I have a much better answer for them than "cause the Colonel said so."
Each person has got to figure out what they believe for themselves. And no man (including the Colonel) can do that for you. Lot's of people just take what he says as the truth without ever questioning anything, because he is just a confident authoritative teacher. And it's even harder for a child growing up in Berachah especially if your parents are also the types who don't ever question anything. It's hard, but not impossible.
Since I have started trying to validate my beliefs with the scriptures, I have spent an enormous amount of time in the Word, and I wouldn't take anything for it. It has been a good time of fellowship with my Lord.
Just remember, that your faith is in God, not any one man. Even the bible says this. It says that you are cursed if you place your faith in men.