This Is For All The Lonely People...
Posted by: Servant Victoria ()
Date: August 12, 2017 03:14AM

...perhaps dating myself with that title, for anyone who remembers the song...

For those of us who have left a destructive church, or are in the process of leaving, this can be one of the loneliest times of our lives. I wanted to open a thread for all of us who have tasted this loneliness or might be walking through it...

Leaving something that has been all-consuming, like many of these communities are, can leave quite a void. Our identity and belief systems have revolved around something that has either become abusive to us or rejected us or lied to us or abandoned us or has distanced us from family or has manipulated us in a way we did not perceive when we joined.

Now what do we do with that void? Sometimes we are lonely and we don't realize it... it lies unrecognized below the surface, obscured by the busyness of work or family or other things we have unconsciously chosen to replace that void with. For others, the loneliness is obvious and intense.

Another issue is the difficulty of deciding where to go from here. When you leave a church that has misused its authority or otherwise harmed you, there comes a "baby and the bathwater" decision... are you going to find a way to reconnect with God in a safe, grounded, legitimate church, or are you going to throw out the baby with the bathwater and abandon faith altogether. It is usually not easy to arrive at either decision, and we often find our way to one side or the other rather slowly.

If you've been through this, you know what I'm talking about, right?

Healthy relationship is such a key component to any recovery from participation in a community where relationship was leveraged in an unhealthy way. So I just wanted to open a thread that could be used as a place to talk about this issue of loneliness and where to go from here because we really need a safe place to connect and acknowledge and heal, and if this can be one such place like that, my hope is that it would help someone.

Blessings to all...

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