Hi
It is with great sadness that the reality of the damage KCF have done to its ex-members has hit me recently. I realise it takes a long time to change ones thinking as the old ways of programming by KCF are so deep rooted. I realise now that the only way you can truly change is to be de-programmed. Many times I have turned to other churches in an attempt to rid myself of the "Toxic Christianity" fed to me by KCF. That didnt work either. I was counselled for quite a long time by a very wise person who said to me if generally speaking if I did the opposite of what KCF taught me I would be alright.(Im not talking about going out and sinning just changing sick patterns of thinking) I have found this to be true.eg
The way KCF teaches you to look at the world is like this...
1. Be suspicious of everyone!
2. Discern everyone..Generally means pull someone apart looking for all there weaknesses, character defects, supposed motives, then gossip about them ..spread the word so everyone is told not to have anything to do with them. Is this UNCONDITIONAL LOVE???? Also is this another way of spiritualising judging a person. (Judge not! lest you be judged!)
3. If someone has a different viewpoint to us (KCF) cut them off immediatley.
4. People with different thoughts etc are in sin, if you mix with them you will be contaminated spiritually...
5. Check out everything with your leaders! What they say goes..therefore if you have any thoughts of your own, if they are not in line with how they interprete scripture, they are wrong.
This is the way things are done in KCF...
It is my personal opinion that this kind of behaviour is incredibly defensive, based in fear of people and leads to a massive sense of paranoia. This behaviour is not outward looking and is all about maintaining Spiritual Control over others lives.
Sometimes when all we have in our lives is a set of values that are the result of brainwashing by a cult it is hard to see another way. That is why I have found the articles on this site about brainwashing and Toxic Faith and recovery very helpful. The behaviour and thought patterns taught to us over a very long time in some peoples cases a lifetime in KCF do not go away on their own. It takes rigorous self honesty and a programme of recovery to change. Just on its own self honesty ids not enough. Support from individuals who have been through the same programme of recovery is essential. I made the choice a long time ago I did not want to stay locked into the same toxic christianity false beliefs for the rest of my life. However it took a rock bottom experience for my eyes to be opened, and to see the lies I had been fed through all the brainwashing..
I welcome any comments on this.
Do you find yourselves thinking along these lines today?
Self honesty is important here, not everybody will be in the place where they will be able to be truly honest with themselves.
The thing I ask myself today is ,is it kind to talk about people wbehind their backs? This seems to be a practice encouraged by KCF...
To me there is nothing specially kind and loving about that basically its just like every one else in the world...