Liz25, I do think you're right. Howver,one can only hope that the human aspect to this, the hurt, the pain will one day cut through that and allow some people to see it through a different lens.

The same logic though when applied to the financial debacle produces the same results - no apology. Why? Because god was was working through them to teach the church a lesson, etc, etc. You can literally make up any excuse you want to produce the outcome you want. In that regard, I see accountability in the same vein as apology.

There are some really, bright, intelligent people in SMC who's lives have been utterly curtailed and hampered as a result of that association. Talented, gifted, artistic people with their time wasted in a cult. What a tragedy.

Know your own self-worth people. Bow to no man / woman.

The " mindset " that they try to put people in is not right .

The damage they caused to people , being in that " mindset " was and continues to be " wrong " .

I don't recall " enjoyment " . I recall having to do what was the " right thing in their mindset " .

It affected life .

" Death to self " is quite a difficult " mindset " for a normal human being .That was the teaching .

Manipulative and controlling .

I watched another example of similar " spiritual abuse " on a recent Disclosure programme . Tragic for the individual concerned .

As for apologies and accountability , they are too blind to acknowledge any damage done because they have set themselves apart as " the anointed " .

No question , complaint , nor disagreement will upset them . How awful for so many genuine people !

I wonder if anyone actually thought that they were 'annointed' or is this just something that was said to add gravitas and sound authorative. (If you think you're annointed, you need to see a doctor).

"Death to self" ha! What a load of absolute tosh!

Remember, the people that are foisting this cr*p on others are generally not practising what they preach behind closed doors. Sometimes it's even in plain sight, the best example perhaps being 'Tottie Black' himself. Plenty to say about others whilst remaining a massive, morbidly obese glutton.

I haven't been on here for some time. I wanted to say thank you to Rensil for your post on 11th January 2021. Your kind and compassionate words for me mean more than you could ever know. Also thank you to RedRoad for your post on 14th February 2025 and sharing how your home environment was backed up by the church environment. I too experienced this throughout my childhood, adolescence and early adulthood within my family home. Physical beatings and psychological abuse at home being supported by Mr Black's preaching to use the rod and spare the child. I had no one safe around me, I had no support as I stepped out of SMC and my family in my late 20s. It was scary. Although I have been determined to live my life and use all my experiences for the greater good and helping others, it can sometimes just hit me and I have moments of paralysis, deep trauma, sorrow and grief that is so consuming. I ponder that I should've done something, challenged and stood up to them all; but then I remind myself, I was a child. I was a child. I was a child. I repeat this to myself as a reminder. I've learnt to allow this to move through me and not push it down or pretend half my life didn't exist and happen as it did and then I regain focus each time and remind myself that I'm no longer there.

My post on page 273 caused a bit of confusion. Following on from Wise Piglet’s post today and feeling their trauma, I must stress that I’m in no way saying there is nothing to apologise about!
Thank you for sharing and it made me read back to your original post and thereafter, a whole seam I’d missed. I was saying that if you are in that spiritual mindset, you can NEVER understand that you are in the wrong and that I’ve been there, preaching stuff I know I definitely wouldn’t believe nowadays, particularly to do with Struthers-specific rules ( now changed) and feeling superior, spirituality, to other churches.
And then there’s the huge cruelty of the ostracism experienced after leaving. I was once at a large, area-wide professional meeting and met a younger-than-myself professional there and said hi and that I hadn’t realised they would be included in this meeting ( due to the health board area). That person walked away ( after saying something I won’t write as it could reveal their identity).
Thankfully by then, I found it mildly amusing and was grateful to be surrounded by a group of strong, professional, normal colleagues.
But for a younger person whose mind has been mishandled from birth and whose network upon leaving is non existent, my heart goes out. I hope family relationships are now healing for those like Wise Piglet’s as the congregation ever increasingly is exposed to the manipulative behaviours detailed in these posts.

@Liz25 - thank you so much for your post and for sharing so openly and honestly as you have about your own journey. That will not have been easy. This offers its own acknowledgment and can contribute to healing for those of us who have experienced the trauma and harm, and it does for me. So thank you Liz25.
It also brings human connection, compassion and the opportunity for each of us to be truly seen and held with care and respect, even if it is only through this virtual platform.
I also recognise that not everyone is ready or able or has the inner and outer resources and support, or maybe desire to become more self aware, especially when death to self has been drummed into them as being the goal. I have no desire to forcefully share my experience and lay it out vulnerable infront of anyone who is not ready or able to hold this safely and respectfully and consider reparation and opportunity for healing. I’m not here to create shame and guilt for anyone. So I appreciate the time taken to read what I’ve shared and the continued opportunity we all have on here to learn, grow and transform with greater wisdom, insight and self awareness than was available to any of us during our time in SMC.

Liz25,

I note your statement that people may never get answers, but I have to disagree.
As there are a number of reasons for my view I have divided into sections, each of which comes at this from a different perspective. Not a dig at you though - just my thoughts/analysis on this issue.


1 The factual perspective
+++++++++++++++++
It is a fact that apologies have been issued in the past, so this is far from impossible. There is even one noted on this forum.

Admittedly the leaders of Struthers make this hard on themselves as they could apologise when things first come to light. Instead, the pattern is generally denial, obfuscation and indifference - until lawyers or others with authority get involved.

I can see no sensible reason for these delaying tactics. These things always escalate as time goes on – look at the Post Office debacle, the Hillsborough disaster, the Windrush scandal. People do not give up, they actually become more incensed over time.

As an example, I spoke to someone this week who said, “I will keep fighting for justice [for a Struthers Survivor] long after they have gone.” That is not the first person I have heard express that sort of commitment. This will not go away and there will be apologies, whether now or in 100 years. What a stupid, uncaring legacy for the current leaders to leave the next generation if they do not bite the bullet and address these things.


2 The responsibility perspective
++++++++++++++++++++++
Part of the problem with the suggestion that people will not get answers is that it carries no moral dimension.

The key question is not what is likely to happen. Especially from a Christian perspective, the key question is never “what will this achieve?” or “what is the pragmatic thing to do?”, the question is always, in every single case, “what it’s the right thing to do?”

So, in that sense, whether the leaders answer or not is irrelevant, the question is not whether raising issues will lead to answers, but whether raising issues is the right thing to do.

Diana tells you it is wrong to raise issues because it disturbs her spiritual equanimity, and that you are less spiritual if you dare to question things.

The Bible tells you that the fight for justice is central to the gospel and that it is our responsibility to speak the truth to power.

Which will you follow, Member of Struthers? Will you follow a false prophet (evidenced for example by the New Year Word message that all will be peaceful and her own sermon a few weeks ago about how stressed she was by all the complaints) or the Word of God?


3 the human perspective - there may yet be some decency left
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Okay, this one may surprise some readers.

I think we can still hope that there is some decency left in some of these people.
Some readers may of course have written off all of the SMC leaders as unable to ever repent of the callous treatment they inflicted. That view is understandable, and hard to argue against when you see their pathological indifference to any sort of pain in others, but… that does not mean there is no hope that their eyes may yet be opened this side of the river.

A recent exchange I witnessed included three different people all making positive comments about one person in a leadership role.

Admittedly the initial comment was that this person was capable of relating to others “before Mr Black knocked all that sympathy nonsense out of her so she could be ‘spiritual’ instead.” Still, three different people with a positive view of underlying kindness and understanding: there may yet be a spark of decency there.

It is not impossible for eyes to be opened and I do not accept the only possible conclusion is they will never repent. The OT is full of people finding God’s way after years of indifference.


4 the truth will out
+++++++++++++
Part of the reason this is able to go on is that the Members of the congregation - and even some of the Trustees - have no idea what is going on. (Is it correct that one Trustee is for example deliberately kept in the dark about anything related to safeguarding? Why would that be?) Who knows - but, at some point, truth will out. Someone will actually pursue a question like, “so Diana, how often have you had to speak to a lawyer in the last two years?” and will be persistent enough to insist on a number - not bland assurances that all must be well because she is so spiritual.

As soon as people asking the question hear that number, they will be phoning their own lawyer. Why? Because they will belatedly realise that decisions are being made in their name without their knowledge, and that their personal interests no longer align with the interests of the organisation.

I wonder if any of the leaders have actually been in that sort of situation where they are being asked questions under oath. “Mr Smith, have you read the issues raised on the forum?”; “Do you accept you are as a Director are responsible for the actions of the organisation?”; “Did you raise any of this at a Board meeting?”; “Do you have a record of the explanation you were given?”; "did you think this was the correct ting to do?"; "Did you ask wether the safeguarding policy had been applied?"; "What evidence did you ask for?"; "would you have acted this way?": “Were you satisfied with the verbal assurances you were given?”; “Did you not think to ask for these comments in writing?”; “Did you ask what action was being taken in your name?” “What action did you take to verify what was being said?” The list goes on. People can be questioned in this way for hours, it is not the five minutes you see on TV. Truth will out.

Not sure “I was simply following orders because these people are so spiritual” is going to cut it in that sort of circumstance.


5 the scriptural perspective
++++++++++++++++++
I have already spent far too long on this, so will keep this short.
Many stories show that perseverance beyond what is reasonable is rewarded. Sarah, Hannah, Elizabeth, Samson’s mother, the persistent widow pestering the judge in the parable Jesus told. In every case these people persevered long after it was “reasonable” -and they were rewarded for it.

That is the message of scripture. So, again folks, which will you believe – the false prophets telling you all will be well, or the word of God?

Point taken, ThePetitor and I like the way you laid that out.
I’ve written enough lately & look forward to hearing from anyone reading who has not yet had the courage to write, but has stuff to say.

Will conclude here though with this.

Was discussing recently with someone about advice given by leaders which was life changing and often detrimental ( voice of experience).
Was a lightbulb moment as I tried to imagine what it would be like to eg actually, for real, tell a 17 year old girl ‘God tells me you are called to the single life’ or to advise someone to give up a perfectly healthy relationship.

I tried to imagine actually saying this to someone.

Quite incredible.

I am posting again under my own name Michele Lunan. I am the eldest daughter of Jimmy and Maureen Lunan who you should all know having read Mr Black’s books.

I am reposting my few previous posts to save anyone looking back. I just wanted to be clear now who I was.

29 Sept 2020

I am very new to this page and it has been so helpful for me to read of people’s experiences. My own experiences span 20yrs and I was brought up in this church from a very young age. Like someone else on this page, my experiences are very identifiable and my family extremely well known to the heart of this church. Sadly to say, since no longer attending, no one has ever attempted to meaningfully keep in touch with me or show kindness about my wellbeing, or how I’m doing in life despite spending all of my formative years, adolescence and 20s growing up and developing right in the heart of this church. I have been left as if that period of my life did not exist. In “normal“ life there would be some remanent of human connection and belonging due to such shared friendships, experiences and growing up throughout all of those key years of developing into an adult. I’ve experienced passing my “friends” from this church time in my life in supermarkets or other places and I have been looked up and down and been passed by. In “normal” life this would be a moment of sheer joy and excitement as you both shared how things are and what you’re doing in life and reminisced about all our times and experiences together.

I was left scared, frightened, unsure of my sense of belonging, no support network because I had been taught to shun everyone who wasn’t part of this church. Due to all the power and control dynamics of leaders towards those attending, damaging doctrines, and abusive experiences (On all levels that were overtly silenced) whilst attending, and being told when I left that I would always return there as it was my spiritual home and Mr Black stating to me he was my spiritual father, I had a great deal to work through in relation to all of this and although it saddens me those connections I had for most of my life weren’t true or meaningful, it has certainly shown me how not to treat people and I have went on to have positive, healthy and healing connections and learn that questioning and being inquisitive are healthy and essential skills in life.

16 Nov 2020

Many of the things I read from others on this forum reinforce grooming strategies used on us by the leaders and others being groomed to groom others (I can confidently say this as on reflection I can now see how I was used to coerce other young people and treated others as lesser for not adhering to the leadership). The language used to suggest we are special, chosen or like a daughter to Mr Black as GlasgowGirl mentioned were also used on me. I was told many times by Mr Black that he was my spiritual father and that I would always return to Struthers as that was my home and where I belonged. On learning of my education and employment achievements whilst I was in transition of drawing back from the church, one of the leaders said to me “the world has been good to you”, my reply was “no, God has been good to me”........I became more confident to challenge such comments and that was not welcomed by the leaders, I had begun to find my voice.

I cannot deny that the sense of loss was crushingly overwhelming given Struthers was all I had known, I hankered for that sense of belonging. It was like a domestically abusive relationship and co-dependency as Struthers Leaders need people to feel a sense of power, control and status and once they can’t have that over you, your discarded and shut off so they don’t need to reflect on their issues and just blame others.

For those reading, thank you for listening, no one else understands, they are in utter disbelief when I share my experiences which can make me feel more alone. I have to say, it doesn’t distress me as much now as it used to, but that’s been years of working through this and just being open to experiencing healthy relationships in my life since.


22 April 2026

I haven't been on here for some time. I wanted to say thank you to Rensil for your post on 11th January 2021. Your kind and compassionate words for me mean more than you could ever know. Also thank you to RedRoad for your post on 14th February 2025 and sharing how your home environment was backed up by the church environment. I too experienced this throughout my childhood, adolescence and early adulthood within my family home. Physical beatings and psychological abuse at home being supported by Mr Black's preaching to use the rod and spare the child. I had no one safe around me, I had no support as I stepped out of SMC and my family in my late 20s. It was scary. Although I have been determined to live my life and use all my experiences for the greater good and helping others, it can sometimes just hit me and I have moments of paralysis, deep trauma, sorrow and grief that is so consuming. I ponder that I should've done something, challenged and stood up to them all; but then I remind myself, I was a child. I was a child. I was a child. I repeat this to myself as a reminder. I've learnt to allow this to move through me and not push it down or pretend half my life didn't exist and happen as it did and then I regain focus each time and remind myself that I'm no longer there.

22 April 2026
@Liz25 - thank you so much for your post and for sharing so openly and honestly as you have about your own journey. That will not have been easy. This offers its own acknowledgment and can contribute to healing for those of us who have experienced the trauma and harm, and it does for me. So thank you Liz25.
It also brings human connection, compassion and the opportunity for each of us to be truly seen and held with care and respect, even if it is only through this virtual platform.
I also recognise that not everyone is ready or able or has the inner and outer resources and support, or maybe desire to become more self aware, especially when death to self has been drummed into them as being the goal. I have no desire to forcefully share my experience and lay it out vulnerable infront of anyone who is not ready or able to hold this safely and respectfully and consider reparation and opportunity for healing. I’m not here to create shame and guilt for anyone. So I appreciate the time taken to read what I’ve shared and the continued opportunity we all have on here to learn, grow and transform with greater wisdom, insight and self awareness than was available to any of us during our time in SMC.

Well hi

It has taken me years just to decide that it's time to now post on here. I am Frances Lunan. My sister being Michele who has actually posted above my post. If you know the name Lunan then you will know exactly who my parents are and how heavily involved they where in struthers . I have a lot to contribute and I shall be posting over the upcoming days. Having read other people's contributions I am now reassured that I wasn't and am not alone and that despite what I have been indoctrinated to believe it is NOT all in my head