dear Happy SURVIVOR, I have read all your posts and feel , like me and many others, that you have been deeply disturbed and affected by your dealings with SMC. I too, felt your guilt....thinking that I had "WRONGED" people and had been "SNARED" to leave. However, these feelings are the evidence of the damage they have done. Happy Survivor, You have done no wrong. You have simply told your Struthers story. 28 Years later, I am still telling mine but
... it has to be listened to because it is true.
There is a very real and true world beyond the shackles of Struthers. I hope that with the love and support of your fiancé and with the true, real, unfabricated experiences of all these dear posters, you will one day feel "free and whole " as God means you to be . These "so-called" leaders are continuing to damage you and many others and must be stopped.

As far as going to press, I believe that Struthers should be exposed for what it is, what it continues to do, and for all the damage it has done.

I have carefully reconsidered my decision to withdraw from the forum. If I am careful, maybe I could still contribute. At the moment it is a lifeline for me that I cannot afford to jettison.

Lintar123, thank you for your words of support and encouragement. Although I have physically left SMC I am still suffering. I will soon be married and living in a new city. I am faced with a situation where I have no spiritual home. My trust in church leaders and church members is in tatters and shot through. Maybe I will live the rest of my earthly life spiritually maimed and crippled by SMC. I am haunted by SMC. I rue the day I heard the name Struthers Memorial Church and to my eternal regret I wish I had never stepped through its doors.

My parents took the very hard and costly decision to move with me down to England to try and escape the clutches of Grace Gault and the people in Greenock SMC. If only it were a matter of moving ones location.That, at least is humanly possible. How do you purge yourself of the evil effects of SMC? How do you find peace again? When I read God's Word I come across verses that the leaders have twisted and distorted to further their own ends. I'm afraid that I end up closing my Bible and trying to distract myself somehow. Nights can be the worst times. I have been prescribed sleeping tablets by my lovely and understanding Christian Consultant Psychiatrist but I try to avoid becoming habituated to them as they are not a long term solution.

For me personally, the only hope is to be found in my Heavenly Father, my Saviour and the Holy Spirit. I must learn to trust God again and to realise that He is not behind SMC and that the leaders are not acting in His Name. I would not like to think about whose name they are acting in. It does not bear thinking about. I would rather leave that kind of evil to God to deal with. I cannot even think about it.

I had better sign off now and try to get some sleep, before a new day begins. I can dimly sense that there is hope and a life worth living outside of SMC.

With love,

Happy Survivor.

Happy Survivor

First and foremost, you have done nothing wrong. One of the effects of Struthers is to leave you examining everything under a microscope – “Oh no, I wore my red socks this morning. I am sure that guy in the train was going to speak to me about the terrible burden he was carrying and would have been converted on the spot, but he saw my red socks and thought I must be some sort of hippie. If only I had been closer to God, I would have heard him telling me to wear the blue ones. Tomorrow I will pray before I put one on, then I will pray before I put the other one on – perhaps He wants me to wear one red and one blue.” Really? Is there any evidence at all form the Bible that is how anyone lived?

Sorry for the satire/ sarcasm/ cynicism or whatever that is, but this microscopic guilt about everything is how it felt to me. I do not think that is how we are meant to feel. What happened to being “free in Christ”?

I know, I know, the SMC leaders tell you that you can only be free by giving everything to Him and following His guidance at every point. They claim to have reached this spiritual peak, so proving it is attainable.

That is just rubbish however. First, there is clear evidence that they make mistakes – the financial farce, the policies they are having to change because of the OSCR review, the false revelations about people’s personalities or sins. Then there are the outcomes they are achieving within the movement. Their actions are not leading to people becoming more Christlike – exactly the reverse. No peace, no joy, no love, just depression, disaffection and immature reactions. In addition to that, the impact they have on people who leave is simply wrong. Have a look at the latest article on the Latigo site – about 50 people all talking about the pain they suffered. That cannot be the result of “a special anointing”.

Finally (although I could list a lot more) it is also clear they do not even attempt to follow their own rules – even simply things like Mr Black preaching against, then eating, black pudding shows that they are Pharisees, placing burdens on others that they are unable to carry themselves. So, following their model of total obedience doesn’t work.

In other words, it is not just a person being in Stuthers that causes problems, it is having the Struthers approach in the person (possibly after they have left) that causes problems. (Wow, that sounded profound – not bad for a Sunday morning!)

The thing is, even if you know that in your head, there is still this horrible sense of oppression, of feeling you are doing something wrong but, as Lintar says, “these feelings are the evidence of the damage they have done”. No-one should be living in fear like that.

So, I repeat – you have done nothing wrong. You can chose to contribute to this forum or not, you can chose to read it or not, you can chose to speak to friends or not. None of that is wrong – you have been given freedom and individuality. Remember: you have to be yourself – everyone else is already taken!

Finally, you say that you do not want anything to harm your relationship with God. Amen to that! But I don’t think it is that easy to harm that relationship. Look at the lengths God went to create a strong bond. Do you think he will give up just like that? Unlike Grace Gault, God does not “have a very long memory”. Abraham lied about his wife, Jacob stole the blessing from his brother, David arranged for a man to be killed, Moses refused to be the spokesperson for God and suggested Aaron instead, St Peter refused to eat with gentiles and had to be rebuked by St Paul, and look at all of the mistakes the disciples made in the gospels.

No, God is not sitting there waiting to go off in the huff if you wear the wrong socks. He is a gentle, caring, loving Father who enjoys our company and rejoices in the good we want to do, even if we get it wrong most of the time.

Well, that is my view – if any of it is helpful, then take encouragement from it. It not, just ignore it. Life is a journey – you are moving forward and will I am sure continue to do so.

The Petitor

Thank you very much for your response. It has taken me a while to respond because the awful realisation of the damage and harm that SMC has inflicted on me is only just dawning on me. It hasn't fully sunk in yet. I thought that physically getting out was all that was needed to recover. I see now that it's one thing to get out of SMC and quite another thing to get SMC out of me.

SMC, it's leaders, members, supporters, hangers on, passive supporters or whatever you like to call them sicken and disgust me. They are beneath contempt.

The sly way that Cedars School of Excellence are conning parents and the educational world with technology is a disgrace. The parents of non SMC children who send their offspring to the school are not spiritually discerning and cannot be blamed. One family I know removed their daughter at the first opportunity. Other families noticed that most of the parts in musical productions were given to SMC children.

The school website declares that former local drug addicts are invited to speak to the children. All these men attend SMC. Their brains have been well fried by years of drug abuse. Attending SMC will further impair their sense of judgement and mental perspicacity. Some of these men are selected on a Tuesday morning to be escorted to New Dawn coffee shop in Greenock where they are "prayed with" by Grace Gault. Some men take this opportunity to do a runner and make good their escape. If I thought they were not going back to the world of drugs, I would say they have had a lucky escape. These men who stay in SMC are exchanging one form of addiction for another. It is a tragedy.

The destructive influence of SMC continues. For how long remains to be seen.

Happy Survivor.

Happy Survivor...well put. Succinct and informative. I sympathize with your current feelings, though as the smc veil lifts, you can find it hard to see anything positive. I am a family outcast because one of these people who were " bad with drugs but saved by smc" (though that should be saved by Jesus and they weren't "bad" with drugs anyway). Yet they have formed the family-wide manual on drugs. I'm quite an honest guy, which I think is important, so as a younger person, I admitted to smoking wacky baccy (though I didn't inhale,, ) and gradually became a needle-user, dealer and regularly stole money from my mother to "feed my habit". This is preposterous bs , by the way, haha my mum used to supply me with weed to ensure I wouldn't get ripped off, but that claim would be laughed off as the ramblings of a brass monkey....but the FACTS have been discerned according to smc manual, I gave up arguing when my granny (in front of my young son!) suggested I must have come to visit her on my way to get some smacky-cracky. The poor dear knows only the smc spoonfed line on drugs and what she sees on tv and listens to every rumour going. Once she said I was looking good now that I was "off the drugs". Sad truth is I was that day on so much medication that I couldn't string a coherent thought together. Bless her though, she knows only what she has been mis-told. I don't even bother to visit now...which saddens me but I am no longer in a position to laugh off silly accusations based on the testimony of a fake/exaggerated know-it-all and his cascaded, wrong attitude. I work with teens and adults who ARE bad with drugs. Smc parades these people as success stories is, at best, misleading and does no good in the struggle to educate youngers. And, like you said, some are not yet clear of drugusers or those on drug programs...hence they talk mostly mince, however happily and well-intended. And yes you are absolutely right. Replacing one addiction with another is not a healthy approach anyway.
It's a rotten organization and can divide families without them even being members. Destructive. Contemptuous people at the helm. Complicit sycophants. Duplicitous enablers. But all this is being watched. When the master comes home....
Meanwhile, we will expose and raise awareness and support the damaged souls.
Regards to all, and happy days, Cornelius Dredd (Once Ifellaway)

maybe some people, who you may describe as beneath contempt, feel like this.....

it's in the bible here..Matthew 5 v 43-48

43 “You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbour and hate your enemy. 44 But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! 45 In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. 46 If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. 47 If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. 48 But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect'

I can't put up much of an argument against this but fire away.

Hi folks

I hear what you're saying, Weary, and welcome to the forum.

The truth is that it takes time for us mere mortals to forgive and forget, never mind 'love' - Jesus was much better at this than we humans are. While it's admirable and indeed Biblical to love everyone as God loves you - it is not always easy to find a forgiving spirit especially when the extreme damage done to your spiritual and mental health is still very fresh in your mind and you become very aware of the nastiness and lies being spouted about you, from SMC pulpits, because you have dared to 'leave the fold'.

Most of us who left many years ago have managed to come to terms with and begun to overcome the damage done to us. In the wake of this, there is some acceptance that this part of your life can be put to rest and you can begin to look forward to life again.

To be able to forgive these people, who continue to wreak havoc on people's lives, takes far more strength than we have on our own and requires much strength from God. However, so many people who have been damaged by these charlatan pastors have never found a way back to a strong relationship with their maker and many will probably never enter a church again in their lives, except for the usual 'family' occasions.

So, while I agree that the verses you have quoted are admirable - and those of us who still have a relationship with God do try to live by the Biblical code - I personally feel that there can be no real forgiveness for people who continue to abuse and damage so many of God's children even although they are well aware of the damage they are doing.

Now, were they to come here and say 'Look, we know we got it wrong and we are deeply sorry for the damage we have caused and we will amend our ways and our teachings to come back into line with what the Bible actually tells us.' I would be the first to forgive and forget, if they showed real contrition and did indeed change the way they teach God's word and deal with members of their congregation - not to mention a complete change of leadership with proper qualifications for the job.

However, we all know that the FACT of the matter is that SMC leaders will not back down and prefer to make out that the mistakes they have made and the harm they have done is actually a test from God - and anyone who does not 'knuckle under' has failed this test and must therefore have backslidden or be possessed by demons. We know for a FACT that they outright lie about folks from the public platform and, where they don't know details, they will fill in the blanks themselves and just make stuff up. God of course, will be able to forgive these people if they repent and make amends for the damage they've done - but at this point in time, since the SMC leaders will not even acknowledge that they have damaged people, I don't believe that even God will be that forgiving of them.

The Bible also says that those who are shepherds of God's flock are far more accountable to Him than the ordinary member of the church is - and that ordinary people should shun and turn their backs on false prophets - it doesn't say that we should forgive or love them for leading us down the wrong spiritual path because, in God's eyes, those who set themselves up as spiritual leaders for their own gains are among the lowest of the low and the people should get as far away from them as possible.

When the Bible talks about spiritual leaders, there is no mention of love and forgiveness for those who use the Bible and God's name to control people and corrupt the message of the Bible to the spiritual detriment of even ONE of God's children.

The SMC fall-out is huge - there are HUNDREDS of damaged souls left in the wake of SMC's twisted and self-aggrandizing leaders. Somehow, I don't think that God is going to be very forgiving at all with these few people - unless they repent and make amends for the damage they've caused. Just before she died, Mary Black understood this and tried to make amends to at least some of the people she'd damaged during her reign - although some other SMC leaders tried to put a stop to her doing this - but at least she tried and, for that, I'm sure God would have forgiven her and perhaps some of those she damaged will also have forgiven her by now.

It takes someone to say 'Sorry' and to make amends and change the way they deal with people in the future - God requires that of us - and then forgiveness can make a difference to all concerned.

To use a very extreme example - someone I know lost their brother during a gang fight. The gang member who killed the young boy was later caught and imprisoned; after some months, the young man wrote a letter to my friend and asked for his forgiveness because he was deeply sorry and very troubled by what he'd done. It took a lot of guts and much soul searching but my friend, who is not a Christian or religious in any way, visited the young man in prison and, after a few minutes chatting, did in fact forgive him for murdering his brother.

To my mind, forgiveness comes AFTER contrition. This may not be very Biblical but I'm not a church-goer now - I had enough of that in my time spent in SMC - but I still believe in the higher power of God and I still try to live by the Biblical code.

When the SMC leaders step down to make way for proper, qualified, leadership and separately and individually make amends to those they have damaged over the years I think the forgiveness will be overflowing (although I'm not sure how many people would actually be able to go as far as to 'love' them as they love their friends and family etc.). Until that time we should turn our backs and shun and ignore the false prophets and make sure that as many people as possible are made aware of the damage this organisation does; in the sincere hope that we can put a stop to them being able to perpetuate this damage on current and future members - especially the kids, who have no real voice of their own.

We could all just stick our heads in the sand and say nothing more, maybe because we are 'weary', but then we would - in part - become responsible for those whom the SMC leaders continue to abuse because we could have made people aware and hopefully put a stop to that abuse. That's why we continue the debate and continue to ask the Struthers leaders to step up to the podium and answer for their words and actions, while making the whole world aware of what's going on inside SMC walls and enlighten those who may be looking to join the organisation or send their kids to the school.

It would, I guess, be easier for us to roll over and give up but I for one would not be able to live with myself in the knowledge that so many young folks will continue to be abused, damaged and hoodwinked by these people. For the sake of so many lives, it's our duty to expose the nature of the 'beast' just as much as it would be our duty to love and forgive them if they repented and tried to make amends for the huge damage they have done to so many people already. We live in hope and we do indeed 'pray for those who have persecuted us' but, more importantly, our love for the current and future members of the organisation spurs us on to continue this debate to its proper conclusion, which can only be one of two options:

1. The organisation disbands completely
2. The current leaders step down and are replaced by properly qualified pastors who will lead the people to God rather than to themselves.

As always biiiiiiig love and huge huggggggs to all
God Bless xxx

Weary,

I put my hand up and I confess that I have fallen short of perfection. You may have read my earlier posts which recounted all that I have suffered at the hands of SMC and very recently too. I know that I am not taking the long view. But as Cbarb has said forgiveness takes time. My loving Heavenly Father understands this. It is not a prerequisite of this forum that before you can post you have to have "arrived", and to have reached a place of complete spiritual perfection. I only served 5 years in SMC so didn't manage to arrive at complete sinless perfection. Maybe if I had stayed I would be nearer perfection. Personally, I believe I would be nearer the edge and I'm not talking about "the sharp edge" that Grace Gault says we should all be on...I'm talking about the edge of suicide.

If you are "weary" then may I suggest that you stop reading the forum. Perhaps you could enlighten us as to why you do read our posts. My posts are a desperate cry from the heart. I make slow and painful progress after each posting. Sometimes, I find that it is one step forward then two steps back. Again, I trust my Father understands this and that He does not weary or tire of me.

You are a better Christian than I am. Maybe one day I will get to where you are. But at the moment I am not quite there yet. So maybe you should not read the forum and when I have reached perfection someone could let you know and you could then return to the forum. That way you will save yourself being "weary".

Happy Survivor.

Happy survivor, thanks for your pm but i would prefer to keep my posts to the forum so that hopefully nothing gets taken personally. Am not much of a wordsmith but nothing i say is meant to cause offense to anyone

Maybe some assumptions have been made already
that i have so far gone through life unscathed and that the only thing that could make me weary is reading a post on here?

that i would then take the step of picking a name in the bizarre hope that it would upset someone on here?
that i am a better Christian than anyone else or think myself to be
that i am a Christian at all
that i think these verses are easy to follow through on

nothing said was meant to cause offense. I see these verses as not really being about forgiveness but about doing good and being kind to people you are aware are your enemies. I simply wonder if some people are not so much hangers on or trying to keep in with Struthers as trying to live this ideal.

weary,

I take your point. Doing good and being kind are both very commendable ideals to live out. You are not wrong to love your enemies.

I was wrong to make the assumptions I made. I didn't actually say that you had come through life unscathed. I did invite you to enlighten us as to your interest in the forum and why you follow it. You are not under any obligation to say why, of course.

I am very familiar with the verses you quoted from Matthew. I do not dispute them. It is of no interest to me if you are a Christian or not. I assumed you were because you were quoting the words of Christ. I should not have assumed that.

I note that you had nothing to say in response to cbarbs long post.

You are quick to correct a happy survivor of SMC but not quite as quick to acknowledge the truth of cbarb's response to your first post.

I would be very interested to know why you follow this thread. Is it to help us do good and be kind to our enemies?