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Kirkby Christian Fellowship
Posted by: brokenbycheryl ()
Date: March 24, 2007 01:04PM

Examples of spiritual abuse are found throughout the Bible. God describes (and condemns) the "shepherds of Israel" who feed themselves rather than the flock, who do not heal those who are hurting, or seek to bring back those who were driven away but rather discard them, ruling with force and cruelty (Ezekiel 34:1-10). Jesus reacted with anger against the thievery of the money changers in the Temple as they misused God's people for selfish reasons (Matthew 21:12-13; Mark 11:15-18; Luke 19:45-47; John 2:13-16). He was angry at those more concerned with rules and regulations than with human suffering (Mark 3:1-5). In Matthew 23, Jesus describes the abusive spiritual leader in great detail. In John 9 the Pharisees "cast out" the man born blind simply because the truth he told about his healing exposed their own corruption. In Acts 7:51-56, Stephen called the Jewish leaders to account over their spiritual abuse. His testimony of Christ vindicated Jesus, whom they had abused, and condemned them. The legalistic Jews were so angry they stoned Stephen to death. In Galatians Paul addressed a performance based Christianity which leads to the abuse of legalism. There are many more such examples.

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Kirkby Christian Fellowship
Posted by: brokenbycheryl ()
Date: March 24, 2007 01:06PM

As God in human flesh, Jesus had legitimate spiritual authority. But He did not exercise it to gain power for Himself, or to abuse and control others with rules and regulations. He said, "Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest" (Matt. 11:28). The Greek word for "heavy laden" is phortizo which means here "to overburden with ceremony (or spiritual anxiety)" (Strong's Concordance #5412). Jesus gave a balanced perspective on positional authority when he said, "But be not ye called Rabbi: for one is your Master, even Christ; and all ye are brethren" (Matthew 23:8). He gave another key to discernment when He taught, "He that speaketh of himself seeketh his own glory..." (John 7:18a).

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Kirkby Christian Fellowship
Posted by: brokenbycheryl ()
Date: March 24, 2007 01:17PM

Healthy recovery from spiritual abuse must begin with understanding what has happened and how. A victim usually thinks he is the only one experiencing these problems. Just being able to give a name to the problem is important. There are many books on the subject , that will be helpful in learning about spiritual abuse and recovery.

Afterward the abused person must learn the true nature of God's grace, love and forgiveness. This is the foundation for being able to eventually forgive the abuser. Being able to share the experience and what has been learned so as to minister to someone else's need is also very important. This could be done in a support group made up of people with a similar experience who can share the healing love of Christ.

Finally, a lot of time must be allowed for full recovery.

This is my recovery support group and how weird I am going through this with the eyes of all the churches in Liverpool watching and learning the truth. Bless you all the churches of Liverpool you certainly never, ever turned your backs on me and left me for dead...You showed kindness and di your best to help. But one fact is true recovery from spiritual abuse takes a long time. It has taken from 1991 for me but I am nearly 100%. I hope those scriptures were helpful if nothing than just to bring a bit of balance back as to what Jesus considers to be normal Christian behaviour.

Throw out your comments... LetSs get our feelings out and see what everyone feels ...
God Bless
BBCXXX

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Kirkby Christian Fellowship
Posted by: firefly ()
Date: March 24, 2007 08:17PM

I grew up in the sunday school at kcf yetigoose. To say mary watts was feared wud be an understatement. Feared and hated- if u were put in her group then you'd drawn the short straw! I don't remember any of the kids sayin nice things about her- even her own kids didnt like her. In meetings you'd never want to sit in direct eye-line with her, coz you knew she'd be watchin u to see if u wer spiritual enough. (consequently all who wernt sat at the back!)
One time when i was in her group for sunday school we got given these spiritual journal things where every week we had to come and write in them what God had been saying to us during the week. (cue frantic panics on saturday night flippin thru ur bible trying to find sumthin that wud float past the radar- it was al very spiritual!) Basicly if you turned up with nothing you'd get the 3rd degree so you jus made sumthin up. This one week i didn't have anythin so i randomly decided that i'd draw a garden n have all the things from the nursery rhyme mary mary quite contrary (u no like silver bells an the like) so i'm sat drawin away and my cockle shells turn out to look more like weird hands all the while i'm trying not to let her see what i've done- she finally clocks me and asks me what ive drawn. She looks at me in disgust when i tell her what it is and then i try an wing some explaination as to why it's spiritual and how God had spoken to me through a nursery rhyme! Whatever i said worked anyway!
Han x

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Kirkby Christian Fellowship
Date: March 25, 2007 01:08AM

There has to be an uncovering. Bringing things into the light, so people can be healed and move on.

I'm so sorry for your pain and so sorry, that i, as an ex-leader of kirkby christian fellowship was partly responsible.

When i left I thought they we're a christian church and i was desparate to have peace with them, although i knew
i could never go back. I just couldn't take any more.

I wrote a letter the them and sent an easter card in 2001/2002 asking for peace with them, I had no reply to either.

The then Kirkby Baptist Minister went on our behalf to seek peace, this was also declined.

The rector of the St.Chad's Church, offered to broker a meeting we're we wouldn't even have to meet face to face.
this too was declined, why?

I have copies of my letter and card, we have a hand written statement from the Baptist minister,
if you wish to see them. I am sure Rev Tim Strafford will confirm the meeting he attempted to broker.

Christians persue peace with each other. They don't

As Christians we must do more than what is right. Its right to be sorry, to say sorry is what God expects

I am praying for all your healings and that you may find God, not kcf's god, he's too small.

Love Tina x

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Kirkby Christian Fellowship
Date: March 25, 2007 02:27AM

Now that you've seen other points of view, let me make a few comments.

Some folk on this site may come over to you as angry people.

Thats because they are angry, very angry at the way they we're treated in a place that should have
been a refuge for them.

It was a place were childhoods we're lost, faith was abandoned and minds were destroyed.

If i could make you experience what we have gone through, I would love all who are parents who have children
aged between 11-13 to go through for six months, what we have gone through for six years.

What I would not like your children to go through, is what mine went through, the unimaginable pain, because of kcf.

Try and imagine your child spending the whole of their 5 years in Roughwwod or were ever (save the first 2 months) in
an isolation block, because her world was completely destroyed. Try to imagine when they were on holiday not long
after we left, getting text messages off their 'friends' telling them, 'they wouldn't be friends with them any more'.

Try to imagine going to the Children & Adolescent Mental Health Services for years (yes she still goes) to help her
come to terms with what happened to her.

Try and imagine asking God 'why is this happening' and 'why won't they make ammends'

Try to imagine what God feels about all of this

All of these people suffering, because of a church.

Now Know that i will never give up until this church and the leaders there of, Cheryl and David Doyle are brought to account

Once, some one who is a leader in this church said about us 'all you want is justice'

He was dead right.

David Anderson

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Kirkby Christian Fellowship
Posted by: onlyme ()
Date: March 25, 2007 05:01AM

Hey everyone,

Thanks for your input Tina, it's of great value, and refreshing to hear someone apologise for their part in what has happened, thank you - it takes humility and courage, particularly in such a public place as this. I personally feel some leaders were as much victims as those who didn't have such responsibility, if not more so.

I'm so sorry for what you and your family have been through, and so many others, and I wish there was some way to fix things and undo the damage that has happened over so many years.

Han, I admire you're creativity in making up stuff for your journal! I can remember similar such exercises from when I was young, but I was always to scared to make stuff up, because I thought they'd 'discern' it and know.

I never ever really felt spiritual enough for KCF, never ever really felt good enough for anything, but as has been pointed out numerous times by references to websites etc. this is normal for an abusive system and in a cult, and it's so sad that so many people who have so much to give end up leaving because these things put in place to control ultimately drive them away and do so much damage and make people feel so unloved. I am ashamed for my part in it all, ashamed that I never had the courage to ask questions and confront whilst there or when I left, ashamed that I blindly followed and thought bad of others who tried to open my eyes or left, ashamed for trusting so implicitly people who have now proven themselves to be so untrustworthy.

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Kirkby Christian Fellowship
Posted by: brokenbycheryl ()
Date: March 25, 2007 10:55AM

Hi Tina,
Good to hear from you!
I did the same also a letter was written to them from my new pastor after I left but nothing happened. I went back so many times. As I approached Cheryl she practically ran from me. I eventually talked to her but she would not have it that they were at fault in any way shape or form!
Im not surprised they would not liase with any other local ministers .They are of the opinion that other ministers outside the church are not as spiritual as them even insignificant in the scheme of things. I heard her label them as nominal christians on many occassion. So there can be no reconciliation with such attitudes of spiritual pride. The sad thing is the only way there can be reconciliation is if Cheryl and Daves attitudes change. I am not God so I hate to think what would have to occur for that to happen. I can only say that I have been through maybe 7 or more major rock bottoms in my short life and you see things very differently after your seventh one. However I am still grateful for whta God has done in my life he has never left me and has given me a backbone of steal. That s why I have learned to let go and let God today....
But I can imagine how terrible it is to see your own babies going through systematic spiritual abuse. Any normal loving parent would be angry at what has happened .AND QUITE RIGHTLY SO...
Huge love to you,

BBCX

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Kirkby Christian Fellowship
Posted by: Liverpool Writer ()
Date: March 25, 2007 04:41PM

Hi folks, great to see the discussion is still moving on, and we're seeing faces old and new around here.

Just wanted to remind folk (as sensitively as possible, 'cause the last thing I want to do is trample on anyone's feelings) that not everyone here is a born-again Christian. As for myself, I am a very liberal Christian; others may not be Christian or religious at all. It's great for people to be open about their faith, but on the other hand, advice and support that relies on the assumption that everyone else is Christian or Bible-believing or evangelical etc might not be relevant to everyone - and may even make some uncomfortable!

I think what binds us is not our religion or beliefs, but our humanity and desire to love and be loved, to help others and to see justice.

Keep up the good work and discussions everybody. It's wonderful to see this happening, and to see how people have been emboldened and encouraged through what's taking place here.

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Kirkby Christian Fellowship
Posted by: firefly ()
Date: March 26, 2007 08:35AM

Question: What does justice look like for you? What would the eventual outcome of, say this site and anything else other ex-members choose to do ideally be for you?

I'm with anyone else on this board who would like to see justice for everything i've been through. But i don't know what it would look like. I guess i would like the place to be completely broken up, for the truth to blind them and for them to plainly realise what is really goin on in that place. More importantly i want there to be no more people like you or i who have gone through kcf an come out the other end feeling worthless and utterly destroyed.
But i guess i question whether than can truly happen unless cheryl doyle has a complete transformation of character- which would be a miracle lets face it. In some ways will it ever truly stop- or will it just be damaged n then move an go on by a new name?

Some random late night questions for u all.....

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