So could it really be possible?
Date: December 14, 2010 01:10PM
I'm just wondering if someone could give me a straightforward opinion on this.
As i mentioned in some of my previous posts, ever since i've read "The Power of Now" i felt i've been going through the motions of life with the feeling that i'm detached from both my body and my sense of self- like i'm the outside observer of my actions, my physical body and my thoughts- like i'm no longer in the driver seat but merely a passenger in this car called my 'physical self', which in turn is in even larger vehicles called "time" and "present circumstances/location": all of which comprise this "life".
I have felt many times as though i'm outside my own body and fundamentally outside of time (like my mind and body are both outside of time) (which i don't equate to "clock" time), i.e. without "the insanity of psychological time" and without the feeling of 'fear' that you're "nothing but your body and mind" or that you're just "a physical form hurtling through time and space subject to old age, disease and death" etc. (I was just attempting to quote some of Tolle's words which might've lead to my current state).
Or for example, i'd be writing a test in class and while there'd be this thinking part of me which was trying to concentrate- there'd almost be this other part which was observing the actions of my hand on paper (my actions) or projecting an image of me being observed from a distance by my own self, as well as the present circumstances that i'm in (i.e. i'm in class right now, etc)- almost like ok, this is the next train stop on this journey called life and you never know what's coming next-as though i'm not fully in control of myself or have any sort of degree of free will to shape my path through life (like it may seem that way sometimes (like i'm "planning my future") but it's all jst an illusion as though like everything that's happening right now and is gonna happen has been "meant" to happen) and stuff is just happening and i'm partially observing myself dealing with that stuff.
I've recently did research on depersonalization and derealization and i realized that i've experienced many of the symptoms associated with depersonalization disorder. The question now is "is it possible that i've just been imagining these symptoms this whole time?" i.e. maybe something felt slightly odd after i finished reading the book (like maybe there's been slight time distortion as i 'fell through' into the present moment blah blah, etc) and i subconsciously got attached to this to such an extent (self-focusing) that this became a self-fulfilling prophecy of imagined pseudo-symptoms?
If so, what's the way out in this case?
Now if I HAVEN'T been imagining these symptoms then is it really true to say that a single book could have caused all this? Like I've NEVER dealt with depersonalization and derialization or anything of this sort before i read the book so could a SINGLE BOOK really be the PRINCIPAL CAUSE of these symptoms many of which fall DIRECTLY under the identification criteria for these REAL, diagnosable dissociative disorders?