What's LOVE got to do with it?
Posted by: sunshine ()
Date: November 18, 2010 02:16AM

Something occurred to me today and I'm still sorting it out in my mind. It seems that cults use love (and the promise of more love) as a way of luring people to join. After you become a participant if you're not a good little lemming, than you will be criticised, threatened and or shunned. So much for unconditional love. It's all fake.

Love is also supposed to be a way of making the LOA work for us (to manipulate G-d/the universe and other people) to get us what we want with books like The Power by Rhonda Byrne showing us the way. It's no coincidence that Byrne calls her book The Power.

This review on Amazon by Kathryn Price is worth reading:

http://www.amazon.com/review/R3BFSNWB6N0CUO/ref=cm_cr_pr_cmt?ie=UTF8&ASIN=1439181780&nodeID=&tag=&linkCode=#wasThisHelpful]Spare me the small, cold universe of Rhonda Byrne[/url]

Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 11/18/2010 02:37AM by sunshine.

Re: What's LOVE got to do with it?
Posted by: sunshine ()
Date: November 18, 2010 02:42AM

When I look back I realize that some of the coldest, most abusive people I have ever met were New Agers. A former co-worker was into New Age thinking (one of her favourite books being Marianne Williamson's A Return to Love) and she was ruthless in her pursuit of making more money. It was well known that she had no qualms about stepping on other people to get what she wanted, including a co-worker who was her close friend. This New Ager used to smugly say that the reason she was so successful was because she was so spiritual.

There's nothing loving about people using the concept of karma to blame other people for the difficulties they are facing. If someone is mugged or raped, the loving act is to help that person, not to rationalize what happened to them with all kinds of platitudes. I even heard a vegan naturopath who "heals with love" say that if someone can't afford her fees, then it's not meant to be; she also dismissed the suffering of animals as being their karma.

I can't speak for anyone else on this board, but I think my being from a toxic family made me the perfect candidate for all this crap. I grew up in a home where there was emotional abuse, a lot of arguing (followed by cold drawn out silences), violence, affairs, gambling, etc. None of my parents were capable of being loving in healthy ways. That's why I kept looking for answers from external sources, so I could fix me and as a result be more worthy of love and acceptance... all of which was to come from other people.

I take full responsibility for my actions; I'm not interested in playing the victim game because let's face it no one put a gun to my head and forced me to attend seminars or waste precious time and money on New Wage books. I'm grateful I have reached a point where I am learning to trust my own intuition and use my mind to question things. I'm grateful I'm learning to spend more time doing what brings me joy instead of looking for yet another "expert" to fix me. I'm so bored with self-help and same goes for cotton candy spirituality. Life shouldn't have to be so complicated.

My idea of love has changed a lot over the years. It's about sharing, caring, trust and respect... for all beings, including myself. I appreciate the simplicity of kindness.

I'm curious if other people are coming to similar realizations. I'm also wondering what other people are doing that's helping them overcome cultish brainwashing so they can get on with their lives in the real world and create more joy for themselves and others.

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/18/2010 03:00AM by sunshine.

Re: What's LOVE got to do with it?
Posted by: Brynhild Tudor ()
Date: November 18, 2010 04:41AM

Hey Sunshine,
I think I was primed for these new age cults too. As someone who was never happy with life's offerings (hard work, unpleasant people despite what you can learn from them, gradual improvement), the promise of being able to have/do/be anything you've ever wanted, happily ever after, only hangint out with positive, like-minded people was a great message. Who wouldn't want that? But now I'm starting to see how mechanical, narcicistic, fake, and self-centered the whole new age movement is. I'm all for positive thinking and surrounding yourself with positive people, but when it's taken so far as to be artificially controlling and to use people for your own gain, that's where I draw the line.

The contradictions in the new age movement and love-universe are astounding. Example? They make formula for getting what you want sound easy, and then when it isn't, they blame you for thinking it was simple in the first place. Or they change definitions on you. But it's always your fault. I actually really hate that word "self-responsibility." Nobody held a gun to your head, it's true, but they don't have to. The psychological tactics they use to give up your time, energy, mind, heart and money are much more effective. I believe there *are* victims in this world, and am starting to see the value again in being a thinking, feeling human being who can feel concern and empathy for other people.

When someone gave me a Car. Sagan link I failed to understand, so I asked if it could be explained to me in an easy-to-understand way because others found it immensely helpful and I wanted to understand it too, the poster blew me off with harsh words that really hurt my feelings, and it was kinda like, "I'm not going to help you, do it yourself, oh well, deal with it" thing. That is when I realized the value of empathy. An empathetic person, in my view, would figure out where I was coming from and meet me at my level of understanding, and explain things in a way I could grasp until I could understand difficult concepts for myself. At least, that's what I would've done. Treat others how I'd wish to be treated.

But in this world, not many people follow the Golden Rule. Stuff happens that isn't fun, and you can't avoid negative people as much as Byrne would like to have you believe. Byrne seems to think it's a good think for someone to lack empathy, kindness and compassion, as long as they get what they want. Can you imagine how the world would be if people were that way? Actually, come to think of it, I can. This world is heading there...

A world where noone is concerned with anyone else or their feelings. And new agers who say they are have this thing about balance. But it's a balance of compassion and "it's your karma, you created it." That's not balance. That's getting you to partly believe what they do, while fulfilling the requirement of agreeing with you that the world needs to have compassion. The balance concept is twisted. That's what Byrne and so many new agers are so skilled at doing, I'm coming to find iut.

A really helpful thing for me was to read Lois Lowry's "The Giver." Have you ever read that book? I highly reccomend it!

Re: What's LOVE got to do with it?
Posted by: Hope ()
Date: November 18, 2010 05:03AM

The last day of the Forum, when everyone is feeling manufactured warm and fuzzy feelings, the leader winds things up by talking about the importance of relationships and that love is all that is important. Funny, how the forum is about deception.

Re: What's LOVE got to do with it?
Posted by: Stoic ()
Date: November 18, 2010 05:56AM

What's love got to do with it?---This maybe?


'The term was popularized by psychology professor Margaret Singer........

....As soon as any interest is shown by the recruits, they may be love bombed by the recruiter or other cult members. This process of feigning friendship and interest in the recruit was originally associated with one of the early youth cults, but soon it was taken up by a number of groups as part of their program for luring people in. Love bombing is a coordinated effort, usually under the direction of leadership, that involves long-term members' flooding recruits and newer members with flattery, verbal seduction, affectionate but usually nonsexual touching, and lots of attention to their every remark. Love bombing - or the offer of instant companionship - is a deceptive ploy accounting for many successful recruitment drives.'

Re: What's LOVE got to do with it? cult Love-Bombing
Posted by: The Anticult ()
Date: November 18, 2010 08:57AM

beat me to it.


One of the most powerful techniques every discovered.

Search Google for:

Love Bombing

Re: What's LOVE got to do with it? cult Love-Bombing
Posted by: The Anticult ()
Date: November 18, 2010 09:00AM

Whenever a group of strangers are love-bombing you with honey-love sweetie-pie lovey-dovey....ya gotta wonder what is up.

Re: What's LOVE got to do with it? cult Love-Bombing
Posted by: Stoic ()
Date: November 18, 2010 09:10AM

'beat me to it.'

Maybe a bit too hastily, as the wiki page I linked to has an assertion that since 2005 the Unification Church (Moonies) uses that term to denote 'sincere' expressions of affection whereas pre-2005 it was an insincere, integral part of the recruitment process.

I wonder what was so special about 2005 to cause such a sea-change in motive from manipulative to sincere?

I could have found a clearer link but wanted the Singer quote.

Re: What's LOVE got to do with it? cult Love-Bombing
Posted by: The Anticult ()
Date: November 18, 2010 09:50AM

The Moonies hijacked Wikipedia and the term Love-Bombing. A double whammy.

But anyone can search Google for:

Love Bombing

Re: What's LOVE got to do with it? cult Love-Bombing
Posted by: Brynhild Tudor ()
Date: November 18, 2010 11:43AM

Yeah, love-bombing. That'll do it. Hooked me right in. Maybe that's why new agers love it! No pun intended. Excellent definition, by the way. I, and perhaps many others, are extremely prone to it.

Doesn't Byron Katie do love-bombing? I've seen youtube videos of her and now I know what it is, it looks a lot like love-bombing to me...

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