A current description of Tiravannamalai, Mooji and the visitors perspective.
by mdenicola9 on January 30, 2011.
Thiruvannamalai! ahhhh! I can relax! This place in wonderful! When I saw Arunachaleswarar mountain (apparently Shiva’s Lingam!) I was in heaven. Immediately I knew I was going to be happy here the next few weeks. Luckily, Nishin gave me the number to Jayalaxmi’s homestay (which I actually called – the first place I called in India) because Moogi, the Jamaican Guru, is here. And there are TONS of tourists here to see Mooji. I don’t think I would have gotten a place to stay at a reasonable price if I hadn’t called Jayalaxmi. All her rooms are full for the next month or so, but one person left the day I arrived, opening one room for me! For 3 weeks at her place, it is going to cost $84. I have a nice small room (with a squatter!) and a mountain view from her beautiful rooftop. It is extremely quiet, and just a few minute walk from the Ramana maharshi Ashram, the mountain, and all of the happening things in this small village. On my search for Jayalaxmi’s home, I met an extremely helpful Social worker. I forget his name, but he let me use his phone and he took my on his motorcycle for a tour of the town and brought me to Jayalaxmi’s doorstep! What a blessing! He also introduced me to a man that would rent me a Moped for $35 for the 3 weeks! Incredible! The only problem: i can’t keep it outside because it might get stolen, so I need to figure something out ASAP because Mopedding in India rules!
Again, by luck..I talked to someone who informed me about Mooji’s satsang. I ran into another woman who showed me the way, and chose the lucky waiting line that was called in first to find our seats. I sat front and center, 2nd row, and absorbed the wonderful teachings of this great Jamaican Guru. By chance, it happens to be Mooji’s birthday! and he is having a birthday celebration right now! ha! I went for a little while – enjoyed the coconuts, delicious treats, and took part in illuminating a Gigantic Flower OM with candles. I didn’t know anyone there, and felt like an hour or so was plenty of time to celbrate Mooji’s birthday. He is hosting a 5 more days of free satsang, and then he will be putting on a 5 day silent retreat – which I may or may not take part in.
Throughout this village, there is Chi Gong, Yoga, daily drum/dance circles, shakti dance classes!, and organic food shops. I also found the most incredible place to get Thali for lunch, 35 rs (75 cents), for all you can eat, DELICIOUS Thali. The best I have had in India. I am a happy man. It is time for me to really dive into my Sadhana, into my being, and to experience my real identity. I keep thinking about the future. Am I going to hike the Appalachian trail? Take the GRE’s? Teach Yoga? or School? Camp with Bubba? Go to California? Come back to the Himilayas? What? WHAT? WHAT?!?!? Ultimately, I need to go inside. I can do that anywhere, and I need to stop making excuses or being scared to do so.
I am going to do it.
On the outside, I am solid. But in my head, I was always thinking about what I could do different or improve in order to reach self-realisation quicker. As you can imagine, this is a never ending battle. If you “push” for self-realisation, you are creating a barrier in between “you” and the “infinite.” In order to merge with the ultimate, there can be no “I.” Therefore, there can be no goals, no wants, no aspirations, no drive, nothing.
Self-realisation, or enlightenment, happens spontaneously to many people – Ekart Tolle for example. He hit rock bottom, absolute nothingness, and the divine moved in. Others, Buddha for example, sit for days on end and lose themselves in nature. Merge with nature, and become the infinite source of all. In spiritual development, “hustling” brings turmoil. Nothing can be rushed, because any enlightenment one receives is given only through God’s Grace.
In my case, I wanted to go to all extremes possible. Going to the most powerful, FIRE, SHIVA mountain in South India. Fast and not speak for 21 days. Do tons of Pranayam, sleep in caves with sadhus, and eat bananas with the monkeys (I still will-monkeys rule!). In my militaristic, linear brain, this was a path to God. If you bring the fire to a fire mountain, you’re gonna get buuurnt. I got burnt hard. After 4 days, my fever just went down but my insides are still twisted. I’ve had weird dreams where I wake up and don’t remember who I am or where I am, I bump into walls, I can’t read anything intellectually stimulating, and I just started to be able to enjoy music today.
But, during these past few days, I have only focused on one thing: feeling better. Although sometimes I thought I was going to have to submit and go to the hospital for weird antibiotics or IV, I refused to lose my spirits. What the would that do? Only weaken my immune system and prolong the healing process more. Everyone knows positive thinking heals, so I kept my spirits high. Last night, someone moved out of the “big room” (3 rooms, big bed) downstairs in Jayalaxmi’s home. For $50 extra dollars I could have the mini-apartment for the next 3 weeks. Sold. I picked up my stuff and got out of my feces infected room and left it all behind. Started completely fresh in a completely new space.
After a broken few hours of sleep, I found a place that served warm porridge with banana and honey. My belly was sitting right (relative), and my attitude was strong, so I went to Muji’s satsang. Sat near the door for quick release to the surprising clean, westernised facility. Mooji is the man. I encourage anyone to see him speak or watch a video of his (mooji.org). Anyways, he said one thing that really struck me. When talking about us as Consciousness, not merely human bodies, he says something like: “When we perceive something, who is it that is perceiving? It is something inside us. According to science, space is the subtlest element. But, humans can perceive space. So whatever is inside us that is perceiving space, must actually be subtler than space.” At this point, it seems that all we have to do is sit and listen. Only when we are completely silent, inside and outside, then we can perceive our own subtle being.
Now, I have been doing tons of Kundalini yoga and meditation for the past 3 1/2 years. Almost all of the postures involve some kind of mental or chanted mantra, intense mudra, or pranayam. Rarely, if ever, is there a chance to just sit and be silent. To really go deep inside yourself and discover the subtle you. Yogi Bhajan may have had a reason for not “teaching” this. It probably was because: sitting and listening doesn’t need to be taught, it needs to be experienced. I have never been motivated, nor wanted to just sit and listen. But I have finally reached the stage where this is all I want to do.
At lunch, (the place had wi-fi..fancy!), I read a friends quote that said something like “Love something..etc.etc.” It all began to come full circle for me. What did I love? What was I living for? The only answer I could come up with was, I love God and I love everyone and everything on this planet. This is what was missing: Bhakti. Complete love and devotion for the universal creator and all his creations. Swami Vivekananda says that true yogi can be compared to a bird. Jnana (knowledge) is one wing, Bhakti (devotion) is another wing, and yoga is the tail. The bird needs both wings to fly and a tail to keep balance. Equally, the yogi need knowledge and devotion to fly, and meditation/yoga to stay balanced.
After consuming and processing all these ideas, I put some bentonite (healing clay powder for intestines) on my belly, slapped on some amazing mantra, and laid down in my full size bed. It is truly right there. Joy. For all of us. We just have to remember. Carefree, beautiful golden rays of sunlight are pouring on us ever instant, but we have to tune into their frequency to receive them. In the next couple of hours I laughed deep from my belly, cried in pure bliss, and slept peacefully.
When I woke up, I felt like I did when I was a little kid. With the attitude “Fuck it.” I wanted to dance through the streets, with no concern of anyone’s thoughts or judgements, whatever. The reality is, I got my smile back. My true smile. My real joy. And all I had to do was open my heart back up, and look for it. I have put myself through intense sadhana and austere practices, which I truly benefited from, but now I want to fully open my heart to the world a spray magnificent rays of golden light wherever I go, without judgement and with no reason. I am tired of doing all this hard ass, sweaty yoga. I just want to laugh and spread the light of our divine mother. Thank you!