one plus one =
Posted by:
Toni
()
Date: January 01, 2005 03:26AM
Hi Gold Dust!
Good point about variety of groupthink and psychologically abusive situations.
Arthur Deikman, MD, psychiatry faculty at UCSF med school and graduate of Harvard writes extensively about the various degrees of cult behavior in ANY organization. There can seem to be a fine line between group conformity (e.g. formal dress at the Nobel Prize ceremony) and cultic manipulation. For more about this from someone who has spent his academic - medical - psychiatric career on this very issue :
[www.deikman.com]
[www.deikman.com]
r.e. learning to say 'No'.. yes, it's huge! and to do so gently but firmly, (without my typical, impassioned 'NO WAY!') is a lesson. Good for you!
Congratulations on getting out of your commune, and also appreciating the value of self appraisal that you gained from your group. Your boarding school situation must have been terribly isolating. That sense of isolation can carry a long time; skillful manipulative groups know how to play on that. sigh. You'll probably continue to learn and grow even more now that you are not based upon your communal leaders' directives.
Sad that you feel there is a 'cult' behind every smiling face. From what I've read (and my own experience), once realizing what happened in our past, the sense of distrust can be a common experience. But truly, there ARE many wonderful, honest, non-manipulative people 'out here' away from Cultlandia. Each person is different, and has their own needs, but not everyone is bent upon manipulating others to do their own bidding. "Love" does not involve indoctrination. Have you investigated exit counseling, or cult recovery therapy? Specialists in this are listed on the various appropriate websites.
As you wrote, can only speak for oneself, but healing from cultthink has been an exciting process for me (albeit painful at times). It takes awhile, especially if one has been blind to such manipulations for a number of years. And yes, agreed, that life 'outside of the group' is not all rosey... by far!.... but at least there is the possibilty of honest discourse with equals, exploration of variety, and the opportunity to stand strong in one's SELF, regardless of a smiling nod of approval from someone else. Just my 2 cents.
Happy New Year!
Good point about variety of groupthink and psychologically abusive situations.
Arthur Deikman, MD, psychiatry faculty at UCSF med school and graduate of Harvard writes extensively about the various degrees of cult behavior in ANY organization. There can seem to be a fine line between group conformity (e.g. formal dress at the Nobel Prize ceremony) and cultic manipulation. For more about this from someone who has spent his academic - medical - psychiatric career on this very issue :
[www.deikman.com]
[www.deikman.com]
r.e. learning to say 'No'.. yes, it's huge! and to do so gently but firmly, (without my typical, impassioned 'NO WAY!') is a lesson. Good for you!
Congratulations on getting out of your commune, and also appreciating the value of self appraisal that you gained from your group. Your boarding school situation must have been terribly isolating. That sense of isolation can carry a long time; skillful manipulative groups know how to play on that. sigh. You'll probably continue to learn and grow even more now that you are not based upon your communal leaders' directives.
Sad that you feel there is a 'cult' behind every smiling face. From what I've read (and my own experience), once realizing what happened in our past, the sense of distrust can be a common experience. But truly, there ARE many wonderful, honest, non-manipulative people 'out here' away from Cultlandia. Each person is different, and has their own needs, but not everyone is bent upon manipulating others to do their own bidding. "Love" does not involve indoctrination. Have you investigated exit counseling, or cult recovery therapy? Specialists in this are listed on the various appropriate websites.
As you wrote, can only speak for oneself, but healing from cultthink has been an exciting process for me (albeit painful at times). It takes awhile, especially if one has been blind to such manipulations for a number of years. And yes, agreed, that life 'outside of the group' is not all rosey... by far!.... but at least there is the possibilty of honest discourse with equals, exploration of variety, and the opportunity to stand strong in one's SELF, regardless of a smiling nod of approval from someone else. Just my 2 cents.
Happy New Year!
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