Re: The Kabbalah Centre
Date: December 23, 2010 02:02AM
It would be nice if it could be proven because I -for one- have suffered so much as a result of my involvement with the Kabbalah Centre and I'm still trying to figure out if this suffering is "a test," but -I mean- how long do you have to suffer and how do you know if you are suffering because it is a test of faith or if you are suffering because this spiritual study, the way they teach it, is either a jinx or ... just a spiritual "tourist trap"?
What I was wondering this morning -at a time of serious doubt- was that if -as I have been told- you can be disingenuous if it is to "trick Satan," the way biblical Jacob did, then is that what they do at the Centre, when people before they "sign up" think all these wonderful things are awaiting them, and then when these wonderful things don't happen, they tell them that it's either their fault (the fault of the people who are awaiting such things, either because they had "expectations" or because they didn't "transform" or "share"), or they tell them that redemption is coming, or that it is a test, etc.?
And they don't even have to try that hard because the "taking responsibility" and the fear and the questioning of yourself does reach such heights -which if you haven't participated in this can not imagine- that they don't even have to try so hard and all they have to do is tell you one little thing here and there (or not tell you anything, which can make you self-doubt even more), and then the lectures and the emails and the postings and you do the rest because you are trying to figure out why -in spite of your efforts- such things keep happening to you and you are not getting all these wonderful things you were expecting (if you're lucky because it could be worse than just not seeing "miracles"), and so you think, of course, it must be your fault, and you are too afraid to question because you don't want to fall into "victim consciousness" and maybe you don't appreciate the miracles that happened which you didn't notice and maybe you don't appreciate what's on your plate right now ... And maybe you're the "mixed multitude" for questioning and being "impatient"! ...
This is really painful, the not knowing, the questioning of yourself and of people who don't agree with what the Kabbalah Centre says, while -at the same time- you do want to please your teachers, but they do "inspire" you to want to please them because they tell you that they (the teachers) are "channels," and so if they are your "channels to the Light," then you think that -of course- you want to please them (because that is who "writes the checks" after all, I mean if you think that they are your "channels" to God who is the One who is giving you everything, and taking it back, then you want to please them, you're too frightened not to listen or please), and you want to listen to what they tell you because they have a "message" for you, and if you don't listen, then ... the chaos that can ensue, you think! And if you don't listen, and then chaos does happen, then forget it!
But I mean, wouldn't God want to give you some room to figure things out on your own (thus allowing you to use the all-important "free will"), especially if you are trying so hard to "transform," or would He really want to strong-arm you into submitting to the "ways of the Light"? Or maybe you're evil and you deserve all of the chaos!!!
If that is truly what they believe in, that Satan must be tricked and that the end justifies the means because -after all- this is helping "correct the original sin," even if people have to suffer (and I suppose that you would quite possibly have to suffer because it would be a "cleansing" process), and so they can talk to you about all the wonderful things that are awaiting you if you study Kabbalah and donate and/or volunteer, about all the protection from chaos if you are "spreading the Light," which ... I don't know, I've seen people "spread the Light" and who still have a lot of chaos in their lives, but then I suppose it is a "test," and all of this is a "paradox" because "truth lies in contradiction," and when you have chaos, you have to ask the Light to "give you more" (chaos) because you become stronger, "closer to the Light," etc.
But if things won't be quite what you imagined when you "signed up" for this and you keep waiting and nothing good happens, then doesn't that mean that you acted without your free will, which would defeat the purpose of the whole thing as -after all- this is what you are supposed to do (no?), use your free will, or is it still okay in their opinion to "trick Satan" because the Kabbalah Centre, which is -after all "spreading the Light" is now a few hundreds or thousands -or more- dollars richer?
Writing this -as you can maybe imagine- took quite a bit out of me.
I certainly hope that they are right because I have suffered too much and have invested too much in this!