Have any of you guys thought you were part of a new group of freinds, people who were good and genuinly liked you, only to find out they were simply trying to recruit you into your cult?

Did it hurt? I know it hurt me. I just wasted two years on people who are so brainwashed it hurts.

I guess you can say it is modus operandi for such organizations. If you're looking for something, you're maybe vulnerable and such appearances at friendship can be attractive. I wasn't particularly looking for something at the time, I was just a very impressionable kid that enjoyed accepting responsibilities and liked doing a job well done. It's part of the grooming process.

Yes, it is a grooming process. I enjoyed many friendships all the way through recruitment to full time member. Some are so strong that even after being out, hooking up with others who were in I was able to re-establish several friendships. Others wish to leave it all behind. That's fine, I understand. After sixteen years, there were a lot of ties to people but also a fair number of family relationships that were severely broken. The organization was my family. The eventual betrayal was very painful. The brutally physical expulsion by people I had known for years caused me to endure several days in the hospital, but the emotional scars remain years later. Of course it hurts. It's okay, it's to be expected.

Keep checking out the different cult awareness web sites. You may not understand everything at first but eventually more of it begins to make sense.

Mary Struggler

Yes, I was a Soka Gakkai (sect of Japanese Buddhism) member for almost 20 years. I met them at a very low point in my life; a good friend of mine had just joined and began encouraging me to go to meetings with her. Everyone seemed so warm and positive. I joined and spent a great deal of time on Soka Gakkai activities, planning and working at various activities. At the time, it seemed like we were great friends, idealistic people who wanted to help others and save the world.

Then I began noticing that nobody ever called me -- unless they wanted me to do something for the Soka Gakkai. Also, at the same time, I began having a lot of concerns about the organization itself -- how nasty and unBuddhist it was to other sects of Buddhism, how they demanded all your time, how members had no choices and no say in how the organization was run, excessive attention and admiration of the leader. I eventually left, and I haven't maintained my relationships with anyone that I knew in the Gakkai. Once I was no longer interested in doing things for the organization, they were no longer interested in me. I ask myself now, why I ever thought that these people were my friends.

I agree with Mary -- the sharing and information on this website, and other cult - information websites is very helpful. I feel like my eyes have been opened, and it's good to know that other people, in different groups, have had similar experiences.