I wasn't sure whether to post this here or in the 'Former Cult Members..." section. So if it needs to be moved, I understand.

I have posted a little in one of the Byron Katie threads. I didn't want to distract that thread so thought I'd post the group I was with here.

I was a follower of The Way International, a bible-based fundamentalist group, for 28 years from the ages of 18 until 46. I got involved in August, 1977, and exited in October, 2005. Anyone can google the Way International and find all sorts of information.

One of the biggest things I dealt with while in the group was physical illness; I developed severe asthma and immune problems my fourth year in the group. It's a long story. Teachings and experiences in The Way were part of the reason for the health problems, due to emotional suppression, shaming, etc. Looking back I'd estimate 60%, but that is a subjective guess. I'm healthier today than I have been in decades past. YAY!

Another biggie I've recognized is a shattered identity; I'm still working through that.

Anyway, just thought I'd introduce myself.

If interested [and I understand if not ;-) ], I'll link my stories below. They are long and of course leave out a lot.

My spiritual journey story is here in its entirety:
http://poetrypages.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=55&t=55346

I have posted the same story here, in 3 parts:
http://tossandripple.blogspot.com/2009/04/seeking-life-along-way.html


My health story, which reveals a more in-depth look at the illness aspect:
http://poetrypages.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=50569#ten46


Thanks!
~carol

I tend to oppose protecting the guilty. ~Fred Poole

Carol, I read all about your experiences with The Way AND your very difficult health challenges. My heart goes out to you for all you've been through and I applaud your strenuous efforts to find healing and even wellness.

Also I can deeply relate to quite a few things you shared about yourself. I'd rather not be specific about that. (At least not at this time.)

Ye gods, I didn't have one long cult experience as you did, but I did become involved with two different cults for much shorter periods of time. I lasted no more than a year with either group. The involvements occurred approx. 15 years apart.

Oh, and then I nearly got sucked into the "school" of Byron Katie.

I might not be alive now if that had happened. Suicide was looking very good to me around a year ago.

Regards,
H

I forgot to mention regarding Janja Lalich's Take Back Your Life, which you mentioned in the other thread. (I'm trying to not distract in that thread, but figure I can in my own thread. ha! )

I found it an excellent book. I've read it thoroughly twice and refer to it regularly. (I'm somewhat of a bookaholic and have found bibliotherapy a huge help.) I've also written out some of the exercises in the book; hard damn work it is! whew! Those I'm not comfortable sharing on a public forum such as this. But, perhaps (as we converse more) I can share that with you privately; if it would be helpful. :-)

Thanks again!
~carol

btw: Congratulations H on your strength and inner resources!!!



PS: At what point to post start to show without being approved first? I understand the reason for the approval aspect...so I'm just wondering. :-)

I tend to oppose protecting the guilty. ~Fred Poole

Quote
helpme2times
Carol, I read all about your experiences with The Way AND your very difficult health challenges. My heart goes out to you for all you've been through and I applaud your strenuous efforts to find healing and even wellness.

Also I can deeply relate to quite a few things you shared about yourself. I'd rather not be specific about that. (At least not at this time.)

Ye gods, I didn't have one long cult experience as you did, but I did become involved with two different cults for much shorter periods of time. I lasted no more than a year with either group. The involvements occurred approx. 15 years apart.

Oh, and then I nearly got sucked into the "school" of Byron Katie.

I might not be alive now if that had happened. Suicide was looking very good to me around a year ago.

Regards,
H

Hi H...

I had a post I had typed prior to the "I forgot to mention Lalich..." post. Since it didn't show up, I'll try to recompose it. And if it appears, apologies for the double post.

Thanks for the kind words, and for taking time to read all that stuff. I really do understand about the not being "specific" and about what you stated in the other thread regarding "weird/icky things ended up happening" behind the scenes with true believers. I didn't many to cause any discomfort with my question; my apologies if I did.

As far as the length of time of involvement, I look at my time in The Way as a slow chronic illness. There were some very good times as well, and I believe many of those were genuine. A few months after I left, I got very involved with an anti-Way online forum. It was helpful, but I experienced some similar stuff as had happened in The Way. I look at that short-time experience (a little over a year) like a car wreck. My point is, regardless of the time spent, both chronic illness and car wrecks are damaging. Car wrecks can be much worse!!

One man I discoursed last year had endured horrible abuse at a religious boarding school. He stated, "Comparing abuses is like comparing the levels of hell and Dante already did that." I have a tendency to minimize my experiences and not fully honor them, though I am learning! I think I'll always remember that statement from that man. {I'm not stating you are minimizing anything, just something that I've dealt with... :-) }

I'm glad you are still with us!!! Suicide brushes/ideation are a living hell. I've learned to maneuver when I get that low, thankfully those times are much, much farther apart and fewer; hopefully gone forever! *thumbsup*

Thanks again H!

In hope,
~carol :-)

I tend to oppose protecting the guilty. ~Fred Poole

Re the "Take Back Your Life" book, I did read a bit of it again last night, but I may not finish it at this time. It does seem to me that I've received such a good education re coercive groups, thought reform, etc. from my participation in this forum that I don't need to beat myself over the head with yet more info!

I can always go back to the book at any point in time.

I wonder if you have seen the post made not long ago in the main Byron Katie thread? It's got a link to an article on Zen. I thought it was wonderful. Here's a link to the post about it if you haven't come across it yet:

[[url=http://forum.culteducation.com/read.php?12,12906,71270#msg-71270]NYT Article on Zen[/url]]

As for when do new RR post-ers stop needing moderator approval? I've no idea. But I don't recall it taking very long after I started.

Ah, nearly forgot to say... thanks for your supportive comments. :-)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/01/2009 02:57AM by helpme2times.

If anyone is interested, I've started a blog where I am transcribing my journal from one of my years in The Way's leadership training program known as The Way Corps. It is not a 'seedy' cult story, but does show the mindset of a 'true believer.' I am also compiling a glossary of Way terms as the terms come up in my transcribing.

Link to glossary: Glossary of Way Terms
Link to homepage of blog: Soulfeet: where my soul has tread…journal entries of a former cult devotee

Thanks!

In hope,
~carol :-)


(Hi helpme2times... *carol waves* Yes, I did read that article. *thumbsup* Thank you!)

I tend to oppose protecting the guilty. ~Fred Poole