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Re: Byron Katie and "The Work" Participant Reports
Posted by: helpme2times ()
Date: April 02, 2009 08:46PM

There are more posts from "arienariadne" at the Guruphiliac forum. Here's the next one.

Keira, I love The Work, too. I applaud any intervention or technique that helps us interrupt an uncomfortable story long enough to think about what's happening rather than being what's happening. There are lots of great techniques for this. Stepping out of a miserable story to gain some perspective is the healthiest thing we can do, I think. And I honor so many of Katie's teachings, just as I honor similar teachings from Lao Tzu, the Dalai Lama, Thich Nut Hanh, Alan Watts, Ken Keyes, etc. These things don't belong to any one person; if these teachings are truly wisdom, then copyrights are superfluous. I perceived territorality, greed, manipulation, internal organizational conflict, unnecessary stressors, etc., at The School.

I think that I was in a very small minority at The School. The majority of participants apparently loved what happened to them there when they "just followed the simple instructions" and trusted Katie explicitly. It is my nature, however, to be skeptical. And, however much I hoped that The School would be so attractive it would charm me away from my skepticism, I couldn't help noticing the things that jarred, that were inconsistent, or that seemed to flaunt or exploit the power imbalance between Katie's organization and the rest of us. I felt like Dorothy in The Wizard when the curtain lifted on The All-Powerful Oz: almost more sorry than angry. And I could see that the principle of Avoidance of Cognitive Dissonance nearly guaranteed that the participants would knock themselves out to insure that The School and Katie were all they had paid for, hoped for, sacrificed for.

I have to check in with myself, "Why am I posting here?" One, I need to vent to someone besides friends and family to help me process the experience...not sure why it helps to slightly formalize the venting, but it seems to. Two, I wish I had been able to find more than just Rick Ross's forum when I was trying to make the decision to attend The School. Ross is too easily dismissed for his own background. Still, I wrote Katie a letter about the posting on that forum and got a letter back, purportedly from Katie, stating that all the exercises were entirely voluntary. So, I treated them that way while I was at The School. If I was exhausted, I returned to my room (I can't sleep on a floor at my age). If I needed more protein than was offered, I bought it. If I needed exercise (discouraged beyond the short daily stroll), I took time to get it. It clearly states in the provided material, however, that criteria for receiving a Diploma includes attendance and participation in all exercises and sessions. And that was just the beginning of the perceived pressures. There was a lot of sensory deprivation and sensory manipulation, in my opinion. And the Staff cadre was large and they were everywhere, roaming the room continually, peering into the faces of participants who dozed or listened with closed eyes. It makes no sense to me to over-stress your students and then have to manage their reactions with constant staff vigilance. I like my wisdom delivered as honey, rather than vinegar; life had plenty of vinegrette moments for me to do The Work on before I ever showed up at The School. I needed respite and self-care, not shock treatment. Maybe I just didn't read the description of The School clearly enough on Katie's website.

I encourage you, don't just take it from me. Take a look at Janaki's post here and link to her blog. Spend the time to do some tedious but important googling. And, finally, trust yourself. I had to go find out. As Katie instructs, I "did My School," and "I got what I came for." It was just not at all what I'd hoped for. The Work stands the test, for me. The School didn't.

[[url=http://guruphiliac.lefora.com/2009/03/23/byron-katies-school-for-the-work-march-09/page1/]Byron Katie's School For The Work March '09[/url]]

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Re: Byron Katie and "The Work" Participant Reports
Posted by: helpme2times ()
Date: April 02, 2009 08:48PM

Another post from "arienariadne".

Yes, the description of The School on Katie's site does, indeed, sound delightful. And I was so desirous of being delighted. I expected something gentler and kinder than I got. I'm sure other people had other experiences, but I stopped experiencing gentleness and welcome by, at the latest, midway through Day 2. I kept looking for the pony in that pile, thereafter, but with a lot more caution and self-protection. One thing I took from the school: you can't expect people to take care of you; you have to be ready to take care of yourself. Of course, Life's delivered that message pretty consistently already. And Katie encouraged self-care, but then did not make it easy or foster inclusion for those who acted on it. I did see staff being very kind and gentle with some people. There were some folks who got sick or were struck with aches and pains. I saw staff bringing pillows, ice, showing gentle concern. Yet, somehow, I did not experience that, or the likelihood of that, personally. Maybe it was precisely because I was determined to take care of myself...eat what I needed by purchasing it separately, rest when I needed by skipping exercises or sessions if necessary...that made me feel cut off. Perhaps a self-fulfilling prophecy. Nevertheless, there it was and it was not all, entirely my own projection. I was fortunate to be acquainted with someone there who felt free to share their perceptions. I checked those out pretty carefully: "Is it ME, or does thus-and-such unforeseen and unfortunate thing seem to be happening?" I had read somewhere, before the school, that Katie would ask people to leave the school if she thought they were problematic. And she specifically stated that anyone caught marketing anything at all or were caught with weapons would be ejected immediately (and I saw no weapons, but a couple of people tried to sell me something). So I knew it was possible to rub The School folks wrong. Somehow, I intuited that you wouldn't have to go so far as marketing or having a weapon to get kicked out. It was Katie's "Family," after all, and she called the shots.

As to The Work being disorienting...Yep, I think it often is, for even the most self-protected, and perhaps can always be destabilizing for some folks. Those turnarounds are a bitch sometimes! I could tell from what newbies were sharing at The School that several people were starting to come unglued after a couple of days. Some folks seemed sort of unglued from the beginning. There was a general decompensation over the days. As time passed, I began to be worried that some folks wouldn't recover adequately before they left.

So I agree with Redwoods and Gimmeshelter, there needs to be some kind of warning or screening...both so that folks can get an accurate picture of what takes place and make more informed choices about this particular, very strong "medicine," and so The School can operate more efficiently. I'm into Katie's business with this last statement. Speaking for myself, then, it bothered me to see so many people crying, groaning, looking sad, depressed, or confused so much of the time. I thought I would see lots of smiles and relaxed faces there. What I mostly saw were either blank or sad/mad/confused faces. There were be sudden guffaws or giggles, true...but they would often come out of the blue and inappropriately. There was some big-time LOOSENING going on there...and that might be desired effect or it might be symptomatic of something seriously wrong. One size definitely does not fit all. The blank looks seemed most apparent in the staff members and the people who were Repeaters.

Yes, it was very much as if they were entirely self-referencing. It often looked robotic or affectively blank. There was a failure to engage another person...EXCEPT when The Work was in progress. Doing The Work with Staff was a crazy-making experience. They might not make eye-contact at any other point in nine days, but they were entirely present while doing The Work. They opened up and became real people while doing The Work on themselves. They might insist on a big hug at the end. Then, next time you saw them, they would usually look past you like you weren't there. The Work (which, while acting as Facilitator, required strict adherence to the questions exactly as written and no commentary, otherwise...just listening) was the only readily available means of connecting with anyone else there. The rest of the time, we were either silent or listening to Katie or listening to someone sharing on the microphone in front of everyone. I did have the impression that the staff was extremely stressed and that there were internal problems there. There were several indications that all was not well between Katie and some Staff members.

A note on the food. Yes, the description on the School site is literally accurate and I expected vegetarian fare. What I did not expect was how tasteless or disgusting that might be. I've been a strict vegetarian for periods of many years, twice in my life. Currently, it's difficult to get enough protein to meet some special medical needs and I've returned to the carnivorous state. What I do know is how well-cooked vegetarian foods and vegan fare can taste. I've got lots of experience cooking and eating that way. This food was unnecessarily bland and unimaginative. The hotel staff apparently screwed up and put salt and pepper on the tables the first day. We never saw it again, thereafter. Some days eggs were only available on a table marked, "Pre-arranged Special Diets." That would be like parking in the handicapped space just because it's nearer to the store...I didn't want to take someone else's eggs. Cheese was usually available and yogurt in the mornings. Sometimes there would be a sprinkling of cheese in a prepared dish. Breakfast, in fact, was usually pretty good. But the fish, which showed up a few times, was utterly plain baked whitefish. I ate it because I needed the protein, but I came to dread meals...the steam-table smells of recycled food (tofu squares with peas, quinoa, steamed plain cauliflower) and the enforced silence (people walk around with signs that say "SILENCE.)" A friend of mine had gone to Kripalu for a 3-day Intensive and said the food was fabulous..launching a description that made me eager to return to vegetarian eating. I think there was just no effort to make the food good at The School. Or perhaps the hotel kitchen couldn't accomplish the task. Or perhaps there was some budget-cutting going on. Katie would say I'm definitely off into a story now! Vegetarian and vegan food does not have to be lousy. There was one item, served one time, that I really enjoyed: a veggie burger that I slathered with mustard. It was probably pre-prepared and shipped to the kitchen; it was far too good to have been prepared from scratch by our hotel cooks. Or maybe that was just the mustard. Obviously, I'm a bit food-focused.

[[url=http://guruphiliac.lefora.com/2009/03/23/byron-katies-school-for-the-work-march-09/page1/]Byron Katie's School For The Work March '09[/url]]

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Re: Byron Katie and "The Work" Participant Reports
Posted by: helpme2times ()
Date: April 02, 2009 08:49PM

And another post from "arienariadne".

Speaking in TheWorkobabble, or (Workletegook, whichever you prefer): I love it that there's some interest and debate on this subject again in this forum. I think the comments here are reasoned, interesting, and thought-provoking. And you've set me up perfectly for the last of the posts I'd planned on. I emphasize that these are my personal experiences and thoughts. I'm interested in hearing when people have had different ones and similar ones. One thing about The School as I experienced it, is there were just not enough opportunities to find out how things were for others there. There was a group, humorously dubbed by one charming participant as The Bad Byron Katie People, who met in an out-of-the-way spot to smoke, drink coffee, and talk. I kept meaning to drop in there and hear from them, but it didn't work out.

On Katie's Behavior: From hearing from others who'd attended live programs and from watching Katie's videos, I'd expected she would have people sitting on stage with her from time-to-time, giving out that warm personal attention, doing The Work 1x1. Instead, there was only one chair onstage. People did the work almost exclusively with other participants. Interaction with Katie took place typically when she asked if anyone wanted to share their experience with an exercise. A staff member with a microphone would run to that person and the speaker would share. Katie might or might not comment or interact in that moment with the speaker. If anyone wanted Katie to address a particular concern of theirs, they had a note given to Katie by staff and she would usually, later, ask that person to stand and speak from where they sat. There just wasn't the warm and cuddly thing with Katie going on. In fact, she often did not seem warm at all. I was surprised at often she seemed irritated or short or sharp...and then would come a couple of those famous Workletegook's: "...and I love it that you blah, blah, blah." The messages were often very mixed and, judging from expressions and responses back from the speakers, often very confusing. I am not the sort of person who wants the microphone, so I'm not a neutral judge of this, but I had NO desire whatsoever to take that mike and speak. And people who hadn't spoken were under some pressure to do so...others noticed or staff noticed and asked why. I would have liked it if the atmosphere had been conducive enough for me to want to speak.

Given all the Suggested Don'ts (don't look in a mirror more than once a day, don't wear jewelry or makeup, don't think about your appearance, etc.), most folks looked pretty crummy by Day 3. Katie, however, looked radiant, rested, made up, perfectly coiffed, beautifully dressed at all times. She sat alone on stage beside beautiful flowers, flanked by two large screens that duplicated her image up close...that beautiful facelift...who was her plastic surgeon, honey? She was lit from above in such a way as to make her white hair glow with almost a halo effect. She may have said we were her family, but it was pretty clear we weren't like her. Yes, she was there most of the time when we were in the room, but she didn't take the mindfulness walks with us or eat with us. Even staff did not eat with us; they had their own separate dining room. And Katie did not come down into the room much...just not a lot of co-mingling. I recall two instances in the nine days when Katie left the stage and entered the participants' space. She did not sign books when the Store was set up. I was in her presence but not with her, really.

This was surprising and disappointing. I have noticed, however, that there don't seem to be many Messengers in history who have managed to embody their Message successfully across time. The martyred ones have fared best in maintaining their images in the public consciousness. Katie's message is not new. I like the way she's popularized it for Western minds, but she's not my guru. The wisdom messages carry their truths regardless of the squalor in the lives of the messengers. Again, I needed to see for myself. For all the lighting and the flowers, Katie is just like the rest of us in her humanity and the way her stories keep running away with her, the way her School is running away with her, the way her celebrity is running away with her. She seems more shaman than guru, now. That's how it seems to me and so be it.

My task now is to return to the many messengers whose work helps me. And to let go of my disappointment. Writing here has helped.

[[url=http://guruphiliac.lefora.com/2009/03/23/byron-katies-school-for-the-work-march-09/page1/]Byron Katie's School For The Work March '09[/url]]

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Re: Byron Katie and "The Work" Participant Reports
Posted by: helpme2times ()
Date: April 02, 2009 08:51PM

Still another post from "arienariadne".

I think you make a good point about the 1% who begin to seem like a swarm to the newbie. I don't have a count, but there were a very large number of staff at Katie's School, most of whom (we're told) are volunteers who actually pay for their own travel and room/board...they are what I thought of as the Bigtime Recidivists. Then there was a fairly large percentage of second-timers, the Average Recidivists. This group made up more than a third of the population of the school, I'm estimating. Maybe much more than a third! Then there were the ones I thought of as the Bliss Ninnies: almost entirely new to Katie and The Work, but so eager to follow a leader, they promptly plopped down $5000+ for yet another guru and another Spiritual Hit. Then, there were the Plants: the folks who made Katie's School newsworthy, the folks you don't expect to have turn up randomly. Their stories were too pat, or they were celebrities everyone thinks of as having their act together, or they were matches made in heaven for Katie's website (two people from warring countries who fall into each other's arms through The Work, for example). Then there were the Scholarships: folks who applied declaring they would take The Work (and, presumably, the profit-making BKI corp) back with them to their hives and hills to promote Katie...er, uh, I mean The Work. Tongue in cheek, I declare that left about five of us unaccounted for.

As one of the Unaccounted For, I felt greatly outnumbered. I also often felt WRONG, somehow, for not wanting to join in wholeheartedly, for filtering and setting boundaries, for being a spoil sport and a wet blanket. I was a little embarrassed to find out, yet again, that I'm just not a joiner. And I often felt mildly sad that I couldn't share in the apparent bliss...or at least in the intensity...the majority seemed to be experiencing. It was a struggle to remember that I actually didn't WANT to stop trusting my own perceptions, my own mind. Katie's mixed message was 1) Never believe your thoughts, and 2) Think for yourself. In the struggle to decide which message made sense to me, I often felt exhausted mid-way through the first session of the day. In the end, I pretty consistently chose Option 2. And, the further I travel in time away from The School, the more sure I am that I made the right choice for me. And I was one of a real minority if I only judge by the participants in The School. I was in a vast majority if I judge by the population of the US, Europe, Africa, and the Far East who have ever heard the name Byron Katie and who have already opted out.

[[url=http://guruphiliac.lefora.com/2009/03/23/byron-katies-school-for-the-work-march-09/page1/]Byron Katie's School For The Work March '09[/url]]

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Re: Byron Katie and "The Work" Participant Reports
Posted by: helpme2times ()
Date: April 02, 2009 09:05PM

And we have another report from a former School participant, also from the Guruphiliac forum. Note: this person feels they were helped by The Work, but still has criticisms of the school. And I shall bold one part because it corroborates something a member here was sure happened. Looks like it did.

From "sandyfeet":

hello - first timer here.

I attended the school for the work a couple of years ago. I enjoyed reading your post arienariadne, I found myself in some of the descriptions you mention - borderline personality disorder and other labels. Not sure which label in particular I came under but I'm definitely there. I agree with your descriptions - all of them; I had no idea what I was going to and felt like I had landed on planet odd. I also found that a lot of the participants were therapists; my room mate was one and I found the therapists the most estranged of all; but that could be because I was one of the fruit and nuts. I went to the front desk of the hotel many times to ask if there were organised trips to nearby city sites (European hotels provide this service) I was convinced BK was a cult and as I'd spent all that money to get to the US I may as well go site seeing.

I spent many days trying to get people to talk to me, to rebel the 'follow the simple directions' and found it confusing when people wouldn't smile back at me, or would sit in 'my' space or take 'my' pillow or comforter. It took a lot of getting used to. Then it kind of sunk in. I surrendered (fancy word and a bit of an exaggeration) A lot of the things I identified as being 'me' I saw as not really being me at all; they were infact stories I had constructed to live my life by. Some of the staff were amazing and i'm very grateful to them for their patience and realness. Others were robotic and plastic and quite frankly, frightening. One in particular I just clashed with - she was just way to joyful for me but not in a grounded way. Others I felt just didn't like me - my projections?

I got so much out of the school - I saw my need for approval and love as my over riding life driver. I saw how I used food to numb feelings of pain. I saw that people will do what they do and think what they think and that shouldn't stop me smiling at them, before my purpose was a need for approval now I smile at people or I don't and if they smile back - what a bonus.

As for Katie - I never approached her. I saw many people around me idolise her and I'm self aware enough to not go along that road. So I decided after about 5 days to get what i came for. I participated in the exercises and really learned so much about myself in the city visit after the fast. I met a man who looked at me like I was shit on his shoes (i've done that to people) and another who sat with me and fed me (i've also done that) so in both circumstances I met me. That's what I got from the exercise, that we're all each other.

When I returned from the school I was full of 'is it true'; everyone was sick to death of me It was difficult to fit into relationships again but that was no bad thing as I no longer sought advice or approval and did feel less of a victim of life.

I don't do the work anymore - but something has changed in me - a sense of being aware of my irrational thoughts and that they're prob not true should I care to do the work on them. I also feel quite sane, not all the time, but when I do start to feel anxious, I'm aware of it now and watch it - you can't have the emotion if you're watching it, and sometimes I'm as mad as a hatter and that's fine too. The school was an incredible experience and I went along for the ride eventually but then, I had nothing to lose. I've thought about doing another, many times, and yet I don't.

It was weird, stressful, full on (with people to match), clique-ish, big brother-ish, quite wonderful and also the hardest things I've ever done. I've read Janaki's blog and I get totally everything she says; I saw flashes of irritation with Katie, and I saw detachment and to be honest, vulnerability. She told the story of how she told her grandson not to play near the street as she wouldn't want him to get hurt - and she tailed off as though she had just admitted to something; something any other person would drill into our children and grandchildren. Her husband freaked me out and that's a totally random thing to say, however, it could be because she told the school that he had burned all the copies of her first /second book and all the copies stored in Europe, and I remember thinking "and who's business was he in?" He said it was because it was very anecdotal and not based on evidence - jumped about too much. Indirect aggression?

I think The Work is a business and a money making machine. I think Katie is looking to leave a protected business for her children to run in her demise; she was a business woman before she 'woke up' so maybe she's just switched businesses. That process is repeated in many families across the world, and there's nothing wrong with that, except ... it feels incongruent. It smacks of something not being quite right - I've read things about her in the past when she found it hard to communicate with people, to find the words and I think I read somewhere that she chooses to connect with 'us' and therefore had to relearn language etc. Perhaps she's connected a little too much and is now indeed 'one of us'.

What a show!

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Re: Byron Katie and "The Work" Participant Reports
Posted by: helpme2times ()
Date: April 02, 2009 10:19PM

This was reported by the Guruphiliac blog on 4/18/08. It's entitled "Byron Katie Poisoned By Success?"

Someone I know who was recently at the "Certification" workshop told me that one of the workshop participants did a "worksheet", that's one of tools of The Work, on Katie asking her to stop talking about all the money that the TurnAround Houses will be making. He also challenged her to stop being fake and having a different public and private persona and actually live what she is telling others to do.

It's hard to accept that Katie has lost her way because it appears that she once was genuine, sincere, and honest. Now it seems she has become fanatical about the agenda of bringing The Work to the world. And in her zealousness she is using her own process of The Work to justify doing whatever she wants to do. She is incredibly skilled at acting kind and caring and she shifts to a very different person once off the stage and out of The Work process.

If you watch Katie in an interview she constantly has to refer back to The Work. In her mind every situation can be handled by doing The Work. As I watch her I see a woman who needs The Work instantly to deal with any confusion or discomfort. It is her only answer to everything.

Katie has a charismatic personality and she has gathered a flock of followers to spread The Work. It's free, but there is a catch. You will be encouraged to go to an event or use a facilitator and it will far from free.

Yes, there is a free hotline which is staffed a few hours a day. But beware, the people who are answering the phone aren't particularly comfortable about what they are in, which is usually way over their heads, and all they will do with your despair is tell you to write down your thoughts and ask yourself some questions. And if you stray from that exact process, in their discomfort with your actual life, they will tell you to stop and stick to it.

If it feels abrupt and discounting and strangely artificial believe in yourself because the person on the other end of the phone is mostly likely scared as hell and doesn't have a clue how to help you other than to say "Do The Work" like parrot.

If you can find a person who hasn't been infected with the BKI Persona virus and has a shred of genuineness left in them, then have them do The Work with you. Meditative inquiry has value at certain times used in certain ways. At other times and used in the wrong way it can get you more lost and further away from the truth of you.

As difficult as it may be if you are in pain and looking for help, trust yourself. There are a lot of confused people in BKI and there is a lot of interest in getting you to give them some of your money. If you feel you are being manipulated stop. Many of the people in BKI want to be helpful and many "believe" they are being helpful. But they are actually very controlling and fearful and they are using this method to mask their anxiety.

There isn't much genuine freedom or joy in BKI, it is on the fast track to becoming a group of burned out believers following a charismatic leader who has become a fanatic and blind to the wrong turn (around) she has taken.

Katie, just stop. Stop the bullshit you are in. Stop acting as though you aren't in this for the money. Stop acting as though The Work is working. Open your eyes and see what is right in front of you. See what is, Katie. Most of the people around you are faking it.

Katie, there is always the opportunity for you to stop this and return to the truth you were once living. Go back to the desert and walk with yourself in quiet. Stop this insanity you have gotten into.

Ask yourself if the world really needs you to end it's suffering or if you really are using the world to distract yourself. The Work is losing it's power because you are losing your way.

[[url=http://guruphiliac.blogspot.com/search?q=byron]Guruphiliac Blog - Byron Katie[/url]]

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Re: Byron Katie and "The Work" Participant Reports
Posted by: corboy ()
Date: April 03, 2009 12:37AM

Note from Corboy:

Please, dont be too quick to label yourself with someting dire such as boderline personality disorder.

Yes, that is a real diagnosis. However, there is a current trend to confuse bipolar affective disorder (a genetic
medical psychiatric condition aggravated by stress, lack of sleep, with seasonal patterns) and borderline personality disorder which originates in disrupted parenting when one is between ages 0 and 2 years of age, and is characterized by deep terror of actual or perceived abandonment.

Diagnosis and treatment for both is best done by a professional and a diagnosis cannot be made in just one session. A person has to work with you awhile and see you and your life in context.

The treatment strategies of the two are very different.

Borderline is one of a number of what are termed Axis 2 disorders in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) used by mental health professionals.

An LCSW buddy told me 'Every single one of us has some Axis 2 issues, because there is really no such thing as 100% perfect bonding between parents and children. What matters is the extent to which Axis 2 is affecting a persons ongoing relationship with themselves and with the people they are close to, and how much suffering this causes.'

In the case of borderline, one needs a therapist who has had extensive training in this, who knows how to set boundaries and negotiate them with you, can set limits and convey empathy and slowly, ever so slowly train you to
hold (not suppress but hold), contain and consciously bear the very intense emotions of borderline and discover
how to pace and channel those emotions.

This is what we all, everyone of us, need to learn when we are between ages 0 and 2 and beyond, and a therapist capable of working with borderline personality disorder sufferers is someone capable of offering remedial parenting
in the finest sense of the word.

I think there is method, called dialectical therapy that has had some good results.

But...the thing to keep in mind is treating BPD is long term, requires great steadfastness and courage on the part of both client and therapist. Its not something thats accomplished by willing away and suppressing one's anguish or by dismissing it all as a mere story.

Therapists who work with BPD sufferers are advised to become members of consultancy groups of fellow professionals, so as to ensure they are part of a team, get both social and professional support. Heavy duty counter transferance issues come up for therapist who work with BPD sufferers and the therapists need to take good care of themselves and dialogue with peers.

If you want to read up on what are termed Axis 2 or personality disorders, its best to use literature written by and for professionals.

Many persons wounded by awful relationships try to write about this stuff and in their own anguish, they may be capable of writing material that is very wounding to read if one is sincerely working on oneself to recover from an Axis 2 disorder.

James Masterson's book, The Search for the Real Self is a good item to start with.

Steven Johnson has a very fine book entitled Humanizing the Narcissistic Style.

A survival book for people who live with a loved one who suffers from BPD is Walking on Eggshells.

Some persons with websites on this subject claim to have Axis 2 conditions themselves, but are not therapists. It is safest to avoid their material, precisely for that reason.

A good and modest goal for healing is to become able to feel curious about the payload of anguished emotion one has when feeling abandoned, and that is what a good BPD therapist will help you to do.

Its like working with a coach so you can become able to run a marathon and the therapist will go slowly precisely to be sure you have full ownership of the process and identify the new strengths as your own, which they are.

The trouble with instant gimmick therapies is precisely because they seem so rapid and spontaneous, they make it seem that the guru or teacher is the source of the magic, and that perpetuates a childlike dependence on that teacher as some sort of magic parent.

All this does is re-enact the fraught early childhood pattern that led one to become anguished and craving healing.

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Re: Byron Katie and "The Work" Participant Reports
Posted by: swampseer ()
Date: April 05, 2009 11:02PM

New here. Coupla questions, not meant to be critical, just wondering how things work. Looks like most of this thread is quotes from other message boards, is that right? Why not just post a link and be done? Do these people quoted here contribute to this message board?

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Re: Byron Katie and "The Work" Participant Reports
Posted by: corboy ()
Date: April 06, 2009 06:07AM

If you are not sure, e-mail Mr Ross via the homepage of this website and he will explain it.

For a very lively discussion, interested readers can go here:

[guruphiliac.lefora.com]

and Janaki's descriptions of copyright issues, both for her material and music composed by her husband is of the utmost interest.

[guruphiliac.lefora.com]



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 04/06/2009 06:17AM by corboy.

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Re: Byron Katie and "The Work" Participant Reports
Posted by: helpme2times ()
Date: April 06, 2009 07:01AM

Quote
swampseer
New here. Coupla questions, not meant to be critical, just wondering how things work. Looks like most of this thread is quotes from other message boards, is that right? Why not just post a link and be done? Do these people quoted here contribute to this message board?
Someone in the big thread on Byron Katie (Byron Katie (the Work) and Eckhart Tolle Legit??) suggested starting a new thread with just the reports from people who have done Schools and such, as the other thread was getting really big and perhaps overwhelming, especially for new readers. I thought that was a great idea to start such a new thread and went about getting as much info as I could find into it.

For maximum convenience to new readers, I copied posts along with the links to where they came from. An exception to that is the very long piece by Janaki.

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